Strictly ideal!

Coming Soon

2009-11-24T15:34:00.004-06:00

I will have to Apologize for the Hibernation.

Lost in translation I should say...

For the very few constant visitors... Here is the time train...

Graduated ...Employed...Tennesseed...Married...Will be Coming soon...With a new post as well!

Feels Good to be here...!

Will write soon...Thanks for all the appreciation/motivation.

Earliest Thought Pictured!

2008-09-17T10:44:00.003-05:00

A few days ago, I was reading this book from a reasonably popular and young author who irked this thought

“What is the earliest memory of your own life that you can picture?”

I have never thought about it before and I should say the process of tracing back to the first picture on your mental albom is quite an interesting one. It is pretty much similar yet amazingly different from what you would do with your digital images! As you rewind, the pixel count decreases analogous to your memory…you finally end up in scanned versions in your computer and here you scan your entire memory to get oldest versions from your hidden folders!

It could be different to you, but for me I could not say that I have this one particular moment I can trace back to. It would probably because the brain does not have the ability to correlate the earliest memory with my age and hence it is a little vague on the time line. So, I am still not in great understanding on which one was the earliest as far as the occurrence is concerned.

So I looked back! These are the ones that came to my mind!

1. My Grandfather walking inside my aunt’s place as I was running around the house
2. My father walking in from Tirupathi after his tonsure!
3. Me giving a yellow rose to my kinder garden teacher, telling her that I got her the yellow rose because I knew she would be wearing a yellow saree that day (the flirt).
4. Getting dressed up and going to school in my good old blue and white uniform.
5. Letting my kinder garden girl friend Sujatha carry my backpack and lunch bag holding my hands and take me to our reserved corner of the classroom!

I don’t have any memory of me being a kid sitting on someone’s lap as they feed me dinner! I don’t have any memory of anyone putting me to sleep in my crib. No memory of those kinds whatsoever!

I wonder why? May be I was too young to register anything. So, when do one start to register something in the infinite memory space!

What is so special about these memories I listed above is that it still hangs in there as opposed to the other pictures that I fail to recover? I thought about them, and ofcourse I found the reasons for all of them being there, as it holds their unique importance, which is certainly of no interest to you as a reader. However, I can certainly see myself thinking about my current present later in the future trying to capture them as pictures! If you were to do it …what would linger in your mind and why? If we do find an answer to that question are we currently justifying the respect we would give to that memory years later by living it or are letting it pass as one of those moments that we would never be able picture!?

If you still have not short listed who are the possible authors who might have irked this….ask me or read the post again with your eyes open for the clue!

The Hindu

2008-07-17T15:20:00.004-05:00

After a while...(or may be it was not that long ago) I am going to complain!

I think I have mentioned this in one of my earlier posts; it’s about the obsession on a few websites that almost every one of us has… to begin the day with. It’s like morning business…. If you skip it…you have a day ahead that you would not want to handle. I was reading one of those websites this morning and realized that there used to be days where we would fight for the morning-few-minute-glimpse of “The Hindu”. If you are one of those who have the privilege of calling yourself a Mylaporeian…I guess you could relate to this much better. Nevertheless, it is probably the case with a whole lot of people who were a part of the newspaper generation in South India. The same fights have been for a lot other newspapers as well and even for the Tamil/English magazines that come with that. The fight has been with parents, siblings, and even with Roomies! It was not one of the cute fights you would see in movies, this one is filled with blood baths, mean remarks and profanities running all over the place! I have witnessed respects shattering on these kinds of fights.

Jokes apart!

May be I was busy graduating, but suddenly I realize that I have survived, I repeat survived, the last few years of my life without taking a glimpse of the newspaper. Now, this is certainly for people who agree that reading news from the website is not an equivalent replacement to the raw newspaper. Call me green-un-conscious or digitally challenged or from the generation stubborn or whatever, I really don’t have an ear for it. The feeling of waking up with a laptop is no way nearer to the one I got with the newspaper.

Of course, I get to read the newspaper even now, almost every day. Is it as exciting as it was from a normal paper format?

Hell NO.

Yes, I know that they do have an e-paper, which btw I tried…. but for some reason…I could probably say that I felt similar to playing book cricket on a 5 ‘0 clock Madras evening.

With the digital revolution et al, I guess its time to quit complaining and move on. We are at the age when news comes to your pillow side on your mobile. Pick that up and get the news. You really don’t have the time to get up early and read the newspaper in and out with the morning coffee and breakfast with your best friend by your side, before you get to work/school. I am sure you would rather appreciate the few minutes of sleep that you get in the morning because of your long phone conversation with the same best friend the previous night after postponing that for a few months, who btw is miles apart cribbing about the same thing.

I have started to appreciate James Cameroon’s hidden/obvious message in The Terminator more and more now a days.

I guess I am trying to say I miss the raw version of “The Hindu”, trust me it is not easy to find a replacement.

What way?

2008-06-11T10:51:00.007-05:00

Recently, most of my work-time is spent in Lake Jackson, TX. A small town few miles south of Houston. It is quite an interesting place which offers limited entertainment and a lot of workime. So apart of getting some work done, I get to move around and know this place a little better as well. Following is a excerpt from one of the few interesting conversations happened here a few weeks ago....

"So..Anyways... you getting some work done?"

"Always" I said. "How do I get to Subway?"

"If you get past this way and that way...."

I was trying to look at what she was pointing.....and was puzzled quite a bit! mainly because she was not point at anything.

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah...if you get past this way and that way..." and she lost me right there....

What the heck...is she trying to make fun of me or am I hearing Chinese...

I pulled myself together and asked her..."Where are you pointing at?...I can't understand what you are saying....we keep coming in circle ways!"

"Naaa..Naa....not the circle way...I said this way and that way..."

No way!....This is BS...I can't take this anymore..I waved my hands at her...can you atleast see me....Cant you see me looking like a lost child in an Chennai Exhibition!

"Okay...!" and she pulled her map and pointed at something ....and that's when I understood...

She did not mean this way and that way....she meant This way and That way...

"I am sorry...we were going in circle ways..." I said...

"You dont have to go that far...its pretty close to Winding way"

"Anyway I had it for the day...I will rather stay away from this!" :)

"Dont go to Any way it might be far away" she giggled

Lukily someone on the way mentioned that it is not good to park on the Parking way or His way, when you want to go to Subway.

In the end, I said "I am glad there is no way called No way"

From Wikepedia...on Lake Jackson

All streets radiating from downtown end in the word “Way”. Among the
streets are Center Way, Winding Way, Circle Way, and Parking Way. There is an
intersection of two streets named “This Way” and “That Way”. In the same spirit,
a local church near Bess Brannen Elementary placed a small sign in their
driveway named "His Way". You will also find an "Any Way".

Get used to it?

2008-05-20T16:44:00.006-05:00

“Did you see Saw?”

“Yeah I saw Saw and it was pretty good….”

“So, if you are in to gory movies you might like this”, he suggested.

Every now and then I go to Hollywood video store to pick up some movies that the store guy suggests. Sometimes it turns out to be good and sometimes a total failure. I stumbled in to Memento like this, and so did I with Little Nicky. The girl who suggested Little Nicky movie to be a hilarious one was real hot…so I had to take it…. needless to say…it was a total failure…

“Yeah…I like gory movies…I will see and let you know how good or bad this is”

“So why do you like gory movies?” a middle aged man with glasses thicker than my eyebrows, jumped right in to the conversation from the next aisle.

“The same reason, why I like movies…may be to see or perceive things that I cannot experience on a personal level”

“This generation of people are so much in to these kind of movies and they increase their tolerance limit”, he shook his head in disdain, “This makes them tolerate bad things that happen around them, the ones they would not have tolerated before! I can give it to you in writing that you would tolerate less violence to you and your community if you have not seen these kind of movies”

Both the store guy and myself did not want to argue/appreciate such a statement/conversation from a person who is visibly frustrated and reasonable sensible…. so we yesed him for a while…maintained his boiling point state…and made the monologue look and sound like a dialogue with one word responses….

Unlike this particular incident where I chose to shut up (which btw is very rare), I like talking to people of this kind. People who let their frustration out and understand time in a generic pattern through their specific experiences. I am not saying am in agreement or disagreement with his piece of thought, yet. All I’m saying is that I appreciate such thought processes that starts from a tinge of personal flavor to a lesson addressing the larger picture. There is always something you learn out of such conversations that stay with you for a longer period of time.

Well, parallel processing of life lessons led me to the point of correlating his thought process to my lifestyle. Not literally though.

Often times I come across circumstances that leads to the point where the answer is “I will get used to it. It’s a matter of time”. My question to myself here is that “Does this really mean anything?”

Why would one have to get used to something that he/she is not comfortable with, in the first place? Why would we have to compromise and reason life by understanding occurrences as a messenger device to learn time and truth?

Of course am talking from the perspective where he/she has enough knowledge to talk about the comfortability level. So the clan, which claims to be uncomfortable without exploring what it is all about, is totally out of the discussion and respect here.

So, when do we pull the plug and say…that’s it …I am moving on …I don’t want this anymore!

Or do we ever say that?

When there is a whole spectrum or right and wrong with great overlaps, calling it quits based on what is right and wrong is nearly impossible at certain circumstances. Also, there are so many things that happen around us that we are not in agreement with. If we rebel everything that we are not comfortable with, we would have to lose all the time rebelling without enjoying what we have. So, it boils down to priorities and on the quality of compromises.

Gandhi insisted in getting used to the process of earning freedom with Ahimsa, but he always rebelled against getting used to the so-called “freedom” we thought we had. I guess you get the point. But how many of us can trust the Gandhi inside you who tells you to get used to something that you are not comfortable with, to reap real benefits later. Can you trust that voice inside you that sometimes has a vision with just guts and instincts? If yes…then for how long? is the question that follows!

On the plane of multiple options, I think life is like playing Rummy. You will have to get used to the first set of cards and look for the right cards that would fill in for a win. If you are not leading anywhere as you lose time, you just have to change the sets you have and create new ones and play them for a win. You may get that old card that would have filled in for win just moments later, but could you do anything about it? Nope. You just respect your decision and move on! And interestingly sometimes you would not play for your own win….and that is the brilliance of understanding this!

On the other hand, when you firmly believe on something for some reason that you personally understand or don’t, you must differentiate it from the rummy kinds, by holding on to it until time proves that you are right always…. or even wrong sometimes… as long as you have the ability to see what you take home when you are right or wrong…I think you are safe minds!

Stuck

2008-05-07T09:16:00.003-05:00

Lately, I have been spending quite a bit of my time by myself. The quality(!) time that I have been getting to spend with someone I love (me - as Woody Allen in Annie Hall says) has led me to visualize world from a photographic perspective...I am neither claiming this to be my new found hobby..nor am trying to be an amateur expert...Its just that, sometimes I get to see these places and things that makes me think ...

oh..f&^&...I wish I am a real photographer to capture this in film than in mind... ...

So, in such attempts to capture something’s I have seen with a pinch of crazy thought process.... I am starting an irregular series of posts with pictures and may be some messages...So, here I go, with the first one.

Image source: Picture taken in Quintana beach, TX, 05/05/2008

Staying grounded lets me see the world I conquered and the world that conquered me!

If am not stuck here, may be I would have conquered the rest of the world!

You are welcome to add any quotes to this!

Railway station, Name Board and a Red checked shirt…!

2008-05-02T13:48:00.008-05:00

Have you ever seen people holding boards with some names in the airport receiving area, and wondered if you would ever get to be received like that?

Have you ever thought more and asked yourself do they have the right names? What if they had something like “Hell …Welcomes.. Moron of the millennium” or something stupendously funny!
Well a guy asked me to such a thing once.

This is about one of those guys I knew from Cookeville. .....

have to edit some super mean lines by the author who later thought it needs to be deleted..appreciate for pointing it out.....

... and this happened in one of my high on ego days....so bear with me!

It was sometime in November 2003 when he stopped me on my way to my apartment and was for some reason….he was overtly nice asking about how and whereabouts. I was almost thrown back to rethink about his sexual orientation for such a display of his new found affection. I thought….

Is he all right…I don’t know about you buddy…but am straight…don’t friggin hit on me!

Then a day later, I was walking the same way…. again this guy stopped me….this time he wanted a favor….

Now I think I can pattern recognize….

“So what can I not do for you….oops I mean what kind of a favor you want”

“Dude you are going to India this December right, could you be of any help to me there?”

Well yeah…. I can teach what life is all about and let you know how to live….atleast in my own idiotic way….

“Yeah! If that’s something that I could do…sure why not”

May be he wants me to get some package to or from India….Oh God …these package monsters have already started their killings…even a month before my trip…..I am going to be victimized now…how many…3, 4 or 5 lbs of chocolate and FedEx….not again….why are these people doing this to me in spite of me not telling anyone to deliver or bring anything to me…save me...!

“I am coming to India sometime mid December…..”

Ahh! Thank you God …he is not one of those folks with their humungous packages!

“….I will be flying in to Chennai ….I have a friend who is coming from Hyderabad to receive me in the airport and go with me to my home town….he is new to Chennai and he is my best friend …..he comes sometime in the morning and he does not have any place to go to in Chennai …would you be with him and entertain him for the day…I would be taking the train that night to Hyderabad …if my flight comes on time…else I will have to take the next day morning train….”

Did he say entertain?

“What do you want me to do exactly?”

“Well…basically….”

I don’t know what is that almost every other Indian (including myself sometimes) use this basically word to begin a sentence…. why would everything start from a basic level…even if you are in middle of the conversation…is it just an Indian thing?

“…you will have to receive him from the Central station and take a car from a local travels….put him in a lodge closer to the airport ….take him around the city …show him places…wait for me to come to the airport in the evening and drop us later in the Railway station that night else next day morning….that’s it!”

That’s it!? Then you should wake up and go back to school starting all the way from kinder garden…

“Dude…are you high on dope or something…you realize what you are asking here right….you don’t even know me that well….and I am going there for a mere 20 odd days and you are asking me to spend a day with you and your beloved friend…? Are you out of your mind?”

I was not able to bear a face of disappointment.

“Okay…I can do a part of it…not all …I can receive him from the Railway station and may be drop somewhere closer to the airport the same morning after breakfast or lunch…I cant spend the whole day with him…Honestly I don’t foresee having anytime …you can try other people who are coming to Chennai and ask if they are of any help”

“I did…and Balaji said he could be of some help”

I don’t understand this …I don’t know why people ask a same favor to two people and not let the two know about it…

A couple of days later….

“Barath…I spoke to my friend ….he said he is glad that you are coming to receive him…”

“Do you have ticket details and such?”

“Nope”

“How am I going to know who is he?”

“Do you have his picture or something?”

“Nope”

“You don’t have a picture of your best friend..?”

“No….May be you can do this…”

“What? Take a picture when I meet him?”

“No....Can you have a Name board with my friend’s name and stand in the Railway station so he can come by to you directly?”

“Are you kidding me? What do you think am doing for you….a favor buddy…remember that…am not going to go and hold some board with your friends name on it!”

“Okay…okay…I understand”

Then he asked me that….I don’t have a clue what his thought process was just before he was telling this…..he was god damn serious….

“Can you do this then?”

“What?”

“Can you hold a name board telling that your name is Barath? So he can find you directly and talk to you?”, he was drop dead serious….!

There are several moments in my life where I was completely bowled over by someone’s thought process…. this is certainly in the top 10….

Did he just say what I think and heard as what he said?

After few moments of silence and shock, “Dude…WTF is your problem man….do you expect me to hold a board with my name on it….so everyone on their way out of their train…come to me and congratulate me for being the Barath I can be?…..!!@&^#(*&@", he reacted in a..May-be-you-are-correct way.....

What is the reaction...? Dude...you need some serious help!

If I do what he had told me to do...

What would I look like… May be like this?

Then I suggested that his friend would wait for a while in the same platform as the train arrived….and come with a specific shirt color of his choice and let me know about it earlier….the point was to go a little later so he would be all by himself with the shirt I know…so would be easy to get hold of him…..sounded like a fool proof plan…

The day before he called me to say that it was a 4 30 am train.! I had to say no to the previously arranged temple visit and was bored of getting all the thrashing from parents for not visiting god for a guy I don’t even know and like..

The day came and I was told he would come with a red checked shirt….twice… I was told red checked shirt…..

I drove to the station around 5 with my friend….and went around looking for the man with red checked shirt …..and no where I found anyone of that sort…The central station was huge and after an hour of search in vain I called it quits….These were the days with no cell phones and stuff….so I have no way of communicating to this guy!….All that guy had was my home phone number….so I called my folks to see if someone called for me …and Nope… was the answer….. I was pissed to the core….

I was reminded of the quote that goes on the lines like…."Tell me about your friends …I will tell about you”…!

May be I should have guessed it

I guess I will have a long day… I thought to myself before heading back home

I stepped back in to my home and the phone rang…the guy calls me from the station and after waiting for more than 2 hours…I told him to get an auto and reach my place….

Cirrreeeeeng! The calling bell cracked….

I opened the door and there was this guy……

“...Hey.....You are Barath….I saw you in the station”

“What? You could have stopped me!”

“You were running up and down …looking for someone….I never knew it was me you were looking for”

I was even more pissed…!

Then he took his books out of his small tiny bag and asked me if I could tell him where the library is as he intended to pursue some reading before meeting his friend….!

That was the most simple looking person I have ever met.

I was dumbfounded again …in a nicer way…he did not ask about food…shower…what do we do next…anything…..Library!…that’s the first thing he asked!

He stayed there at my place for a few minutes and he said he had coupled some important academic things so he wanted to visit the Egmore library and left soon after the shower and breakfast. While he was leaving, I asked him…..

“What happened to the red checked shirt?”

“No…! He told me blue checked shirt…..Twice…he insisted blue checked shirt….”

I was dumbfounded again

Now I am sure that quote is not exactly true in all cases….!

Chennai.....Cleaner?

2008-04-01T15:50:00.006-05:00

A quickie!

Recently, I have been (y)telling to my folks about how I miss Chennai...I have been rambling all over about how I get a chance to talk to my parents every weekend ...but not to the city....so on and so forth...!

Then... I stumble upon the news on Making Chennai Cleaner and the subsequent blogasms about it...! A step towards cleanliness that is well taken! If the implementation turns out to be as good as the idea, I am sure Chennai will be a much cleaner place to live!

Also, Google found another piece of news (ibn link not working) stating that last year Chennai was rated as the cleanliest metro in the country...which was quite an interesting fact. I never thought Chennai could be right there, but then my 4-1/2 years of virtual vision holds no justice to this end. On the other end...will the cleaner Chennai with these restrictions would be as good as the Chennai I knew? A toughie.. I should say...but I am sure Chennai will find a way to save its originality in spite of the innumerable transitions...positives and negatives!

All said, I guess the days when the lyrics of "Sorgame endralum..." turning out be appropriate to our very own Chennai is not far away...

An affair to remember!

2008-03-28T16:20:00.010-05:00

“You spend the entire day with me…looking right into my eyes most of the time …running your fingers all over my body…. glancing every inch of it…and yet…..and yet you say…. you want to spend the weekend without seeing any of me?”, she was furious.

“Yep. Pretty much!”, I said.

“Barath, I am having serious doubts about us”, she was concerned

“Listen…there is someone else..... as well”. I did not know where I had the guts to tell that to her

She was dumbfounded! She did not know how to react…!

She pulled herself together and asked me!

“How long has this been going on?”…She wants to know how long more than why and who? …god I cannot understand them. I thought to myself.

“I saw her a long time after I met you…she is nice and very….”

“Does she look better than me?” she jumped in without letting me finish the sentence

“Well…what kind of a question is this? You can’t compare yourself with others…why are you doing this?”

“Answer the question! Who is better?”

“I don’t know…you are different and so is she...…but she is definitely smaller than you!”

Oh my god! I can’t believe I said that….

Well…. folks…its been a good life so far…see you in next life…I am sure she is going grill me…

Aaaah! Surprisingly she did not react…

“Do you really mean it?” she asked with her voice shaking!

“Do you want the truth?”

“Yes”

“Yes!”…now I have handled the bigger issue …I might as well be more honest with her….I told that to my self…as I started saying….

“Listen…what I have with you beautiful…I agree…but with her its different…..with her…it feels like …am not the only one in to this whole thing…there are things from the other side as well…whereas with you…it feels like you are doing only what am telling you to do!?….I don’t know how to put this together…”

“So you are saying its over?”

“No baby…With you …it can never be over!…I can't imagine a life without you!”, I really meant that.

“What about her?”

“That’s the problem…she is getting important as well…I think I will want both of you to co-exist”

“Do you really mean that? Because it sounds crazy to me…and I don’t know why am not getting furious even after hearing what you just said”

“Honey…. you will have to understand…there are certain things in life that one need to know how to share and create harmony…I guess this is one of them….This weekend... I really need to go and spend some time with her…! I was with you all week…. I was with her as well…however I need to give this to her…. please understand”

“I guess don’t have an option here…do I?”

“I guess not!”

Then I had to do it…it was one of the most difficult things to do this weekend…!

I turned my computer off in pain…. but then I looked at my cell phone…and said we have the weekend for us sweetheart!

p.s. This is what you do when you have friday evenings all to yourself

Aggravating Acronyms

2008-03-26T14:54:00.003-05:00

“Is this your first meeting on the HS’s”

“uhhhh...Yes…”, I said with a pause! I guess I know what he is talking about…hmmm…do I?… What is HS?..…but before my brain cells Googled…

“You should have been for the JHS meeting man. These THS are kind of advanced you know, and is certainly not for a newbie. If you had been to the JHS, you would have understood the concepts much clearer…Never mind you will have your way through…. but am saying man ….I did not know that the DUDs and DURs means the same thing until I attended these JHS meetings…Anyways as you move on to the DHS you will know what we are talking about”, he said as he walked towards his cube.

“Did you realize that this is my second day at work and you are throwing acronyms left right and straight at me….”, I was yelling…well to myself!

Well, at that time, whatever you got from the earlier monologue is literally what I got as well. However, now, it’s different! As you work on.. you get the hang of it. But it makes one wonder. Why would we use acronyms so often?

Now with stores almost starting to sell Textotine patches for avoiding addictive text messaging, the use of acronyms is getting worse. To a certain extent, I understand the use.

Well, when you write a formal letter/report/article and you foresee using something quite frequently at a later stage…you parenthesize the acronym in the earlier stage and let the reader know this is what it means… In essence you do the same thing while you talk in business/working terms…you assume that the paranthesization stage has been crossed and that the person you are talking to, understand what you exactly mean when you say XYZ. Unfortunately that’s not the case all the time!

Now, even in the non-professional environment! In a room with people who might not have any clue on your daily routines! Dialogues like these do fill up some folk’s days!

“Machan…what about TOC?”

“Table of contents?”

“No. Taste of China”

“Okay…GTC?”

“Good ‘till cancelled?”

“No. General Tso’s Chicken”

“By the way AT&T is not working today”

“What?…that’s not true…! I just called…may be they are not working just for you! Did you check others?”

“No. They are not working today…I met them home…Aarthi, Tara and Tarun are not taking a break today”

“Dude..this is confusing. Lets go eat. On our way back, you wannu hit SBC for a HB?”

“Southern Baptist Convention? Why there now?”

“God! I meant Starbucks for a house blend…. Come on we need to HB soon?”

“You are so addicted to coffee bud”

“I meant hurry back soon”

Sure! These does happen in some of the folk's life ..the people I almost know/ew

For those who come to me in a non-professional environment with bundles of acronyms like Karan Johar movie titles…I politely let them read between the lines…. of a little more than half of my handful of fingers! Whereas in a professional environment … you sometimes don’t have the liberty to be yourself…in this case smudged with profanities…..so, I say…..I don’t know and I do not understand. By the way, that is very difficult!

Anyways, as we progress through time we need to realize that using an acronym is fine as long as it holds its value! If using them only leads to confusion and eats more of your time and brain cells…..a couple of seconds more on a conversation would certainly help.

All I am saying is bear with me..I am bored! :)

Am I up yet?

2008-02-08T13:43:00.001-06:00

Beep…Beep…Beep….My eyes were frozen at the Couch as I let my brain roll back.

“Barath! Are you up? Its 4.00 am”, Appa started his day.

As I got up and thinking about walking, I also thought, what kind of a biological alarm this man should have to get up like this every day and act with such high levels of energy. What motivates him is what I was thinking?
“Chemistry” he said….

“Isn’t that what you were supposed to work on today?” he asked.

“Not decided pa”, I murmured as I stepped in to my morning premises.

How in the world does he knows what am I going to study. Well, I guess chemistry is what I like the most, so I will go with it.

As I stepped out, thinking what is ahead of me that day, I heard him say “Coffee!”.

I have to give this to him, I have never had a better coffee than what he makes. No Starbucks! No Seattle’s best. Nothing whatsoever. May be its because it was what I was brought up with. It certainly does not taste or look like a traditional coffee, but it has the something of its own that none can come near to.

The next 120 mins, just breezed away with me talking aromatic and aliphatic hyrdocarbons and responding to the early birds chirping.

"Take your shower and get ready! its time", he said.

In few minutes,

"Bring in your plate, guess Amma has some curd rice ready for you", he said.

By then I was uniformed getting set to grab the day by its horns.

"If I see a bit of lunch back in the box you know what would happen. And Do not dare to throw it on your way here", he sure can get loud.

"Coffee?” he asked as I entered back, after a proclaimed long day at work…. come on it was 3 pm.

"Yeah, of course! I thought you will have it already", I hated waiting.

"No, I was bored to do it all alone, I thought you will come back and we shall have the coffee together", he was genuinely bored.

After all, he was so lucky that his workplace was home, as he had to manage the entire South Indian Market via phone and other modes of communication. Man! He was and is lucky. But he also had no colleagues working at his workplace! Poor guy gets to meet them once in a while during his bi/annual meetings! Nevertheless he was bored.

"Its 4.30, let me make some curd rice for you before you go to the tuition at 5.00" he was just informing and not proposing, while I was wondering, why my life is filled with only curd rice, which is what I had for lunch as well...in any case I had better things to think about. Tuition girls and chemistry...!

"Hey...Barath is here. You will have to make him some dosas now" he was telling my mom while watching his 9.00 pm news.

Dosa? sounds nice.... and the intensity of that... of course could not even come closer to its taste. May be its because of my curd rice exposure all day, Dosa, chutney (molagai) powder and Sambar was terrific! Dinner is probably the heaviest meal of the day for me.. I am always stuffed with a full course meal.

"Dei, its time for your Badam milk!” …..He did not quit.

Is there any difference between offering and ordering in this world?

At the end of the day, I was just tired to hear anything related to food. As a matter of fact all day I was hearing only one thing...its something that’s related to food.... Whatever! Go ahead and drink...you have an hour of Math ahead of you at 10.15 pm I told to myself…

“Barath! Are you up? Its 4.00 am”, I heard him say again.

Beep…beep…beep. The microwave reminded me about my Quaker oats.

1995! sure does feel like a long time ago. Lots of things have changed. I learnt to interact with and through machines, learnt to live without constant intake…and lots more.

Father! …Sure! He was annoying sometimes with too much caring…! At the end of time, I guess he really don’t care….may be he knew that there will be days, when he had to give up his son to machines…..

Most of the times we talk about time flying and things changing so fast…. but there are only some times we wish for it to be frozen…. and it almost never happens when you are on it! Memory is something I bow down to! …I think I should remember his birthday tomorrow and wish him! I will call him on his cell phone and wish him is what I promised to myself...After all, I have learnt to survive through machines. When would I learn to live through it? Is a question that will never be answered?

“Its 7:30 am, and I am ready for breakfast” I told to myself. …But am I up yet? I questioned.

Modeling Human Behavior?!

2007-12-25T14:21:00.001-06:00

Last week, I got a chance to meet a couple of my well-wishers who were blessed to begin their process of enjoying the world a few decades earlier than the day I started...They were almost as old as my aunts and uncles. The two have been introduced well to my antiques, way ahead of time and they certainly had an idea of what they were going to witness. Unfortunately, they were also exposed to the common (mis)understanding of the generic behavioral pattern of a PhD, and obviously was entangled in that line of thought as well. The fortunate part for these people is that I have never met them personally, but I was introduced and been taught about them well enough, so meeting them on a personal level was just a formality.

Now, the meeting part did take place. Yours truly took a few nano seconds to gel in. Upon completion of the few formalities, I was all myself. Spoke to these people non-stop for almost an hour. Made them come outside for a drive in to the town along with a bunch of my friends whom they already knew and have gotten comfortable with, even before they had met me..... Ended up in an icecream joint in a winter evening making sure to show that the world around one can be wilder with just icecreams.... All these time I was ofcourse talking (being myself) and when I was outside in a place with rhythms all over, I took a dip in to the music left straight and right by responding to the beats now and then.

So at the end of the hour long stint, the aunt said that that was somewhat in the grounds like....'oh my god....I really didnt know it was going to be this intense...If you go to India, people wouldnt believe that you have a graduate degree...'

Now, that is almost everyone's comment after they spend few mins with you-know-who in a non-professional environment. Why would that be? Why would we frame preconceived notions that are based on traditional generational behavior of human kinds of different ages. I am glad that the notions that the people I met that day conceived were volatile in a few moments and the folks were versatile and wise enough to comprehend that 'understanding and expecting something that are based on rules that were set from a sample space of diiferent aspects could be absolutely wrong'.

If we move a step back and take a thinking pill we would understand that everyone of us have been there and done that. We expect something based on what we know and told upon. Even sometimes through our own experiences but there are several instances we witness that our expectation have not penetrated the complete sample space.... Sometimes we even comfortably sit back and say 'exceptions are not examples'....

Well to preach the least, I think it would be reasonable to say that it is ideal to use the knowledge that we have gained through pattern recognition and our own personal experiences. However, to extrapolate that to every set of conditions and call the ones that does not fall well with in the predicatable error limits, as abnormalities would be absolutely wrong. I don't think modeling human behavior with high predictability is an easy task to accomplish. Even if that is possible, I would rather stay away from that equation and enjoy the limitations of accepting and appreciating people the way they are!

I guess I am trying to say that Sky is Blue :)

Nothing

2007-11-18T11:18:00.001-06:00

1981

Nothing in the world could have made me happier than the cream-and-red-plastic-duo, outsourcing noise to develop love and skills in peace and harmony.

1984

Nothing in the world could have stopped me from spending eternal hours of sheltered rubber and wood workouts rendering support to the search-and-extraction of the best from within.

1987

Nothing in the world could have been better than those few minutes of extended sunlight that would have led me to spend those unfinished businesses as priceless moments of glory.

1990

Nothing in the world could have hurt me more than that last sphere that was lost in the air to end the day of fun and frolic.

1993

Nothing in the world than you could have woken me up at those early Saturday hours to cycle all the way and do what I was doing as I was born to.

1996

Nothing in the world could have distracted me so much more than you from my devastating attempts of exploring my post high school educational adventures.

1999

Nothing in the world could have possibly even brought into the vicinity of the same feeling as holding a virgin to start the blissful few-hour celebration of pure passion.

2002

Nothing in the world could make me believe that there is one other thing than you that is holding my country of such diversity, together in such a tight union.

2005

Nothing in the world could have made me realize that winning in union is more powerful than just winning, and winning is not everything!

Now

Nothing, I repeat, nothing in any form has been with me all my time than you, and I am still searching for that one thing in the world that could possibly fill the voids you have created in my life now.

Cricket. I miss you!

Choices

2007-09-07T19:21:00.001-05:00

Recently, I was in one of the situations where I had to make a decision from an available set of options. That situation actually magnified the positives and negatives of having two seemingly right options.

I think I am paraphrasing Rishi Kapoor (or Kunal Kohli) from Fana (Thanks for subtitles). “The choice isn't between good and evil. That's easy. The real choices of life are choosing between...the lesser of two evils, or the greater of two goods”. In a polarized environment I was thinking that I would not have anything to learn from a movie of that caliber…. A Hindi movie of all cases…?! Well, another lesson from the invisibility!

Unfortunately, most of the time, we are not in a planet where we can differentiate options as good and evil. It is possibly a no-brainer when you have to make an option between two choices that are right and wrong. However when it comes to two right (or wrong) options, your choice is all about your character. Again, calling it right or wrong is completely ones own personal perspective…!

But after going through such a state of mind, I can now say that it is definitely not easy to stay focused and believe in what you believe. Especially, with all these different levels of distractions that one is exposed to. But it is certainly achievable. The path that led to my decision sounds pretty simple but in reality it was not so. I laid down all the possible pros and cons of both options. I compared both and the better one of the two wins…! Ala la la la…! I wish it was that simple. The positives and negatives that I had were on a different plane of perception in a way that I could not possibly fathom. Segregating them was a totally different ball game that I did not step in to. Two right paths that would lead to two different destinations of similar caliber.

Well, one of the major factors that helped me pursuing in the direction that I am now, is the feeling called ‘regret’. I have never believed in the word “regret”, not for once I want to go through that in my life, as it would never let me appreciate the experience that I went through, the way I want to perceive. I stood back and asked myself if I would regret making the decision if I am going through the other one..! In one of the options that I had, there was a tinge of that feeling based on ethical arguments. However, the difficulty of the situation was on a standpoint of definitions of ethical guidelines and who is the author of those? Is that ruled by morals or predefined set of rules framed by someone that you have never seen or will never see in the future.

Well, let me not bore you with ‘what’s going on with my life’ post. The take home message from the experience I went through was this,

Taking a stand in your decision defines what you call for yourself as a character. While doing so there could be several distractions that would obstruct your decision pattern. Stick on to your fundamental feeling of righteousness and win the pride of doing the right thing, at least for your own self.

Update!

2007-08-16T17:12:00.001-05:00

Folks...

Looks like time has showered some positivities across and hence I have renounced some of the tags that I possessed (or the ones possessed me) for a while! For instance, the “Student” and “no- time” tags. Now that I absolutely have only knowledge transfer and vacation to be pursued for the next few weeks….I thought I should get back and do what I like to do when am running short of things to do……Blogging is what I proclaim that as.

It’s been ages since I shared the air in the blogosphere…and it looks like the air is being polluted in the absence of personal consistency. I see a whole bunch of people writing personal diaries online …and randomly ctrl+c and ctrl+v forwards and pictures. .. and calling them blogs. …Well, let me not be judgmental here…all am here to say here is that the air that I shared in the sphere a few months ago has been modified in a way I cannot digest…! So here am trying to do the MJ thing by coming back…not as a Wizard …but as a Bull though!

Thanks for those who kept pushing to write more and visiting. See you all soon with more words!

Now what?!

2007-05-22T16:20:00.001-05:00

Image source: Phdcomics

To a certain extent....this is why this space is not updated! ...yet!

Trying to Graduate!

2006-10-22T19:38:00.001-05:00

Busy to blog?....Naa...Guess I'm Lazy...Will be back soon before graduation!

Thanks for visiting!

Mono or Di(e)alogue

2006-07-17T22:50:00.001-05:00

Let me see if I can articulate what I am thinking now!

Is it possible to talk and make sure that we are not boring the other person by talking whatever we wanted to talk?

Did it come near to what I wanted to say…?

Naaa - not exactly….it's confusing!

Okay…once again!

Is there a faint possibility to talk and not bore the person that you are talking to!!

Now?

How about a ….NO!

Okay…last attempt!

Can I talk to anyone, whatever I want to talk, and can I do that in a way that I don't bore them?

Well! To hell with this!

Why don't I take a post to do this?…Okay..! here I go!

Everyday, there are quite a few instances…I have people talking to me for a while and all I can see is there mouth moving! Because, what they talk is no way related to my vicinity of interest, inclination, knowledge, affinity…or whatever it is. They would just talk and talk and talk without even paying attention to the fact that I am not listening to them!!

I used to scream….

"Oh God! Can't you instill some slightest amount of sense in to this people's brain cells? Can't you see that my responses are just smiles, sounds and start-and-end with just one-word most of the times!"

For once, God laughed the heavenly a** out and said "Try listening to yourself"!!

May be I sound like that to a lot of people! "HELL! YEAH!" ….a crowd shouted right behind me!!!

Good that I have that infinitesimal sense to acknowledge it.

"Could it be possible to change?" I asked myself…!

"Why don't you write a blog on it? May be you will follow atleast for the heck of it once you post it …" said the idealist in me!

A few sensible moments on anything would lead to decent way out of a tough situation.

What do we have here?

Target: Conversation

Constraints:

1. We need to make sure we don't bore the opponent (sometimes it could be a crowd)
2. We need to gain something out of it.

Every situation in this world is not a win-win kind. However, we can try our best and proceed to the maximum extent we can!

The solution here… obviously lies on the Topic of conversation!

The key to talk and not bore someone is to engage them on a topic of their own interest….! The most amazing thing about people around you is that the area of specialization and knowledge is markedly different from one soul to another. And the best part is that, to a certain extent it would overlap with yours, depending upon your versatility and tolerance limit….Well, in this case even if you are not knowledgeable on their interests, you would end up learning something from them…there you go…you gain something.

Now…am I missing something here….if I keep on talking about their interests…? What about mine? How in the world would I get to talk what I want to talk? I mean my interests my hobbies…my inclinations…affinities etc.

I have one word for you! Reciprocation!

Most of the people reciprocate when you listen to them. When you talk about their interests, find a way to connect to your passions, your interests. When you do so? It's easy for the other to respond and react to your affinities. Don't you think? Or am I missing something?

What about the people who don't reciprocate and not listen to your interests and talks? Well, you know what? They really don't know what they are missing! And after all you have gained something by listening to them…don't you think?

Life is simple! All you have to do is to acknowledge your likes and dislikes and practice it on others as well. Once you know how not to something that you dont want to see from others, its get beautiful!

And the next time I bore you…make sure that the sounds, one-word responses and "get the hell outta here" looks ….as obvious as you can!

Educate your way out

2006-06-01T11:03:00.001-05:00

A few weeks ago I got to see an ABC episode on India rising, which is pretty old and popular in the blogosphere now. Though this episode had its own pluses and minuses, I liked it! Especially some parts where, the Sardar's response to the host's "Is India catching up?" question, and a don't-judge-the-book-by-its-cover person asking for an email address, so on and so forth! A patriot's view I guess!

The final few seconds of the show is what I was gripped upon.

"In India, education is worshiped…. and parents will skip meals to send them to private schools…."

How true!

A few years ago, a group of us had a discussion on this same issue. So, my connectivity-speed to those lines of thoughts was obvious and immeasurably fast.

To reiterate, in India, it is true that the middle/lower class families, in a way, skip meals to provide a reasonably high quality education to their kids. It is true that the reverence to education and educators are injected into each and every kid's brain from infancy. It is true that education is worshipped!

I was brought up that way! I saw and lived a life where people were sent to schools that were beyond their quality of lifestyle. Most of the time, the monetary struggle to make this happen was transparent that the responsibility automatically seeps in. At that age, with that brought up, the best thing that the kid can do is to educate their way out! The kid without his/her knowledge realizes this at a very early age. A single digit class rank is the most important thing in the world for almost every responsible student in the class. If parents skip meals, students skip fun, sometimes. As I said earlier here, there are a whole bunch of students who did not do what they wanted to do just to fit in this 'educate your way out' lifestyle.

Is this good? Are we in the right direction?....are the obvious questions that pop up. One of the dangerous byproducts of education is sensibility. Well, with exceptions apart, it's simple! Education breeds sensibility and in turn results in responsibility and growth in the right direction. So, a better educated society will proceed in a progressive direction much faster than the one which is less educated!

Presently, the society that we live in is afraid of being left uneducated! The spirit of competitiveness is so strong that we are just doing what we are supposed to do without thinking about what we deserve! "Once you start thinking what you deserve you become soft - Greg Popovich". Do what you are supposed to do and do that in style, what you supposed to get will automatically fall in! I am not talking Karma theory here…! What I am trying to say is to stop cribbing and start living!

This argument may have a completely different perception if you take the reservation issues into consideration, which I don't want to delve in to. Nevertheless, we are going great guns on the first step! Educate yourself first to start fighting the next step…!

As I said earlier, lot of people did not have the luxury to do what they want to do to fit in and live a life devoid of mediocrity. We have loads of Sachin's and A.R.Rehmans living a mediocre lifestyle instead of taking the road that's less taken! But education and the fear of it in this generation is a beautiful progression that's going to lead the next to take the leap in what they don't call as just survival. From there may be we can see our way out and talk about other plausible deficiencies, if any.

Hilarious!

2006-05-18T10:00:00.001-05:00

How I wish I could!

2006-05-02T11:25:00.001-05:00

How I wish!

Dance like none is watching you

2006-03-22T10:08:00.001-06:00

"Teach me dancing?" He was in his late 40's, "I have never been a dancer in my life and for some reason it is tougher than getting a PhD. Would you help me sometime?", and did sound sincere.

Two mistakes, I thought. Phd is not tough and I don't dance.

"I just flex something based on the beats, if you call that dancing, you must be kidding", it was something that I know….What I do, cannot be termed as dancing.

"Yeah that's what I call as free style", he said. "Teach me that! Not the steps….Teach me how to loose your mind to the beats"

I still don't know if he was serious or sarcastic. Well, coming to think of it (I don't know if I was doing it the way he thought) but it's not easy to dance that way, especially when you are in a place where you get the feeling that there are a bunch of eyes looking at you. Particularly the mistakes!...Nevertheless, when you lose your mind to the beats and let your body react to it, the product could some times be termed as dancing, for atleast a few in your vicinity!

Dance like none is watching you, lose your mind to the spirit of music and care less on the world that's attempting to see what you have in your moves!

If you are a frequent visitor here, you must have guessed where am going with this.

Life!

The whole "dance like none is watching you" thing goes with our life as well. Recently, a close friend of mine said that her blogs, to an extent, were turning out to be readership based. She had to fight and throw those thoughts that popped up to say "What would so and so think if I write something like that". Well, of course she won those fights. But sometimes most of us lose those without even knowing that there is a fight to be fought. I mean in our lives.

We tend to change our ways of acting, reacting and living for trivial reasons. "What would the world think if I do something like this" is the question that we ask quite a few times every day. The world could be a single person or even a group of people. Sometimes these are the people that we know and most of the other times these are the people that we don't know. And as a matter of fact we quite often even answer them, without our knowledge, by merely reacting to those questions.

The world has too many things to think about and we are certainly not in its priority list. But for us, it's quite different. Sometimes we unfortunately set high priority to the world around us and forget to live our own life. We fail to realize that we are taking those decisions assuming it really matters to the world around. But as I said before, the world has too many things to think about and you are certainly not in its priority list.

To a certain extent, I can agree on improvising our acts for one person or for a bigger act, which has a proportional response to a group. Note that, I use the word improvising here and not changing. In the former case, we do it for Love/affection/concern. In the latter case, we do it for the people who would be directly affected because of our acts. In both cases, it's a privilege. So, the changes that we offer to make to our ways of acting, reacting and living are certainly a privilege that we should give to only the chosen few. If one starts to think of changing what he/she wants to do to every Tom, Ram and Som, we would be losing something that's termed as "individuality".

Is it easy? Certainly not! I have been trying this, but have succeeded only to a certain extent. So, yes, it is tough to follow, but if we do, we would enjoy even the regrets.

Trust me! We would be happier if we do what we want to do rather than thinking about other's thought process on our actions.

Well, someone already said this in a much better way "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony" Can you guess who this is? Hint: Everyone knows Him.

Idealist Vs Pseudo realist

2006-02-14T10:03:00.001-06:00

An excerpt from a conversation between an Idealist (I) and a Pseudo Realist (PR)….

Idealist Vs Pseudo Realist
Image source: modified.

I: Love is in the air

PR: Yeah I can smell it! Did u flush?

I: You are fooling yourself

PR: Well, am I? Enlighten me!

I: Love is everywhere. Love doesn't need language, culture, country etc. Without Love there is no human existence.

PR: Where did u pick these lines from? Each and every thing you just said goes well with Sex as well.

I: You can never live with your own self for the rest of your life. You definitely need some one to reflect yourself to, at the least.

PR: Yeah. Okay! Where does love come here?

I: You aren't enjoying the beauty of this world by being single.

PR: Well, singleness and sickness are two different things that people sometimes confuse themselves with.

I: Fall in love you will know the difference

PR: I will, if you tell me what love is?

I: Love is like god. Incomprehensible yet experiencable, Intangible yet achievable, unexplainable yet agreeable!

PR: Wait… wait… wait! You mean to say one can't understand it, but can just feel it.

I: Precisely.

PR: How typical? So you are advocating something that you don't understand?

I: Yes. That's the beauty of it.

PR: What's your name and where are you from?

I: Idealist and I' m from the inside of you.

PR: Just stay there.

I: Come on. At least wish people! You don't have to be in Love to wish people on the day they celebrate love.

PR: Thanks for pointing it out. I'm neither a fan of St.Valentine nor a lover of Roman or whatever traditions. So I will stay put. It's just another day.

I: Forget Love, celebrate people at least.

PR: Okay! If this is the only way to send you back in. May be for the people who believe in all these! I am sure they will have a great day! Because and only because they believe in it and I believe in them.

Decisions after school

2006-02-09T19:55:00.001-06:00

"Students have unenviable task in hand as examination nears"

Public examinations! Standard XII

Couldn’t resist walking down the memory lane to revisit some of the most important decisions!

Regardless of the maturity level, or knowledge, the decision that you take-in at the end of your final year of schooling (or may be even by the tenth grade itself) sort of defines the rest of your life. Some of us have the guts to change the course of action completely even years after the so-called life-time decision was taken. Some of us just branch out and do what we like to do with just a few changes, sticking on to the same field of expertise with the fear of not losing the few years that you had spend in learning something. The rest of us like me, stick on to the thing that started to do, then.

1996- I was given the freedom to choose what I want to do……well, not literally!

“Barath, what you want to do is up to you. You have two options in Engineering now, Chemical or Computer sciences, which one is yours?”

I remember reading a similar kind of a conversation in one of those blogs talking about collegiate education. Whatsoever! This is reality. I was given the freedom to choose one of the two that they short listed from the gazillion ways of living…! Not that I was forced in to this completly without my knowledge....nevertheless my knowledge was less then.

To my parents, the world was so easy then. The options were very simple. All they wanted me to have is a professional degree! The professional degree at that time, for a typical middle-class family, starts with a MBBS degree and ends with an Engineering one with none between them. In my case, there was a little consideration on Architecture, based on my drawing skills. Nevertheless, I was too lazy to write a separate entrance examination and that displayed my motivation to find the Howard Roark in me!

Anyways, the options that they gave me, sure does sound like I was a born engineer or at least a brought-up one. In reality, I was a born slacker and a brought-up idealist. Like most of us, I was good in a lot of things. I am not sure if engineering was one of them, because I never knew what it was, then. So, I still can’t comprehend the reason behind their thought of me being an Engineer. Call me slow, but in 1996 my decision making capabilities were solely parental and peer pressured….well let me digress from the autobiography!

There are quite a few things that we wanted to do in life. For some of us, it keeps changing, as we progressively learn new things. We like adapting and deriving love to the new-found infatuations and misinterpret those as things that we want to do for the rest of our time. Say, your new found love to sport, dance, a music instrument, reading, reviewing, writing etc. We do the same thing to career as well. Sometimes, half the way we realize that we are in the field that’s not ours and we trace back and go to interest motivated areas. Sometimes we keep doing it more than once, like dating a whole bunch of people until you get to find the love of your life.

It would be idealistic a case if every one of us knows what we want to do for the rest of our life at the age of 17. Most of us are not exposed to the interest derived areas, but are to the purpose derived ones. Just because a parent wants to tell that their son or daughter is an engineer or a doc, doesn’t mean the offspring should be forced to do that. External force is there from the age 15, when they get to choose their group, a math and science with computers or the one with biology. (that sure does sound like an engineer, considering biology less of a science compared to phys and chem) Do we have more groups? Oh.. may be commerce. That’s it. Well, some of us are not even exposed to the options. What the heck happened to art, fashion design, film education et al? It’s certainly not because of the educational institutions but the institutional families that pressure them.

The pressures are sometimes not just from the peers, it could be of any type. Birth may be. How many hereditary doctors do we get to see everyday? Family of engineers! Or may be even actors/actresses now! People sometimes choose their profession, just because their parents were successful in that.

Well, stop for a moment! Let’s see from the parent's perception. Of course the parents are equally concerned on not forcing the kids to take a wrong decision. They are knowledgeable on their age and the exposure. So, when there is a time that the kid needs to take a decision and when they feel that the kid is not matured enough to decide. They take the step for you. Beautifully balanced and amazingly bullet proofed, because their decisions are sometimes based on the successful clan of the then-current era. If they hear success stories on Engineers and doctors only, they will obviously be forced to surrender to their derived urges. On the other hand if they hear only sorry stories of people in the areas that their kids assume to be interested in. They would never want to step in and gamble. After all, we are talking about a life and career here. Hence, most of the people who get to choose a career through parental pressures are in a group that is successfully living or at least thinking so. Doesn’t matter you love it or not because most of the time we quantify success by monetary outputs, rather than personal satisfaction.

There is a big difference between doing something you love to do and trying to love something that you get to do. I was lucky, or may be smart to understand and to have found my love in what I am working on. But lots of people aren’t like that. They would be, if they had taken the right decisions at the age when they were not educated to do. Well, as I said it’s too idealistic a case, you cannot make the right decisions when the knowledge is less. Well, if you let me go back and make those decisions again, may be I want to be counselor or a people-analyst instead of a chemical engineer. Nevertheless, if I get to this same position, where I am now via that parallel universe…may be in that universe, Iam writing a blog that’s saying otherwise.

At ~17 you can’t expect every one of us to be the knowledgeable about the future interests. I know a lot of people who started somewhere and ended somewhere else. The decisions that are made for them did not materialize and hence they moved on.

But if you think more, it’s just not about doing what you love to do or trying to love what you do, it’s about how do you define your love to it. You don’t love something, just because you are successful in it. A beggar is a typical example of that statement. You love something, because you enjoy doing it and because it makes you appreciate and reinvent yourself in all possible ways. Again, as I said earlier, success is not defined by the amount of money you get out of it. It is by the unquantifiable satisfaction you derive out of it.

Had Ramesh and Savitai Tendulkar forced Sachin to take up engineering or something else at his age of debut, do you think we would be watching Indian cricket with this unquantifiable passion? I don’t know about you, but I’m skeptical on the unquantifiable part.

Acclimatization

2006-02-01T16:09:00.001-06:00

Apologies for not being able to share the air in the blogosphere for a while. Work has been keeping me busy off late. In any case, better late than never!

Acclimatization! (process of adapting oneself to a new temperature, altitude, climate, environment, or situation)

May be I shouldn't use this word here, as in more cases it just signifies the physical changes that one should get used to rather than the cultural differences. Nevertheless, I liked it, so here I go!

For the past few weeks, I have been thinking about the acclimatization issues that one had to go through in the process of finding peace and harmony, along with monetary pleasures, across borders. One of my friends is going thro' it as we speak. May be that prompted me to write this. Anyways, when I decided to go thro this acclimatization path, years ago, it was not as difficult as I thought it would be. May be I was exposed to the western culture through friends, books, movies etc., and hence no shocks awaited me. Ofcourse, there was a great deal of things that I didn't know. From where I was to where I am now, I should say it's been fun learning and understanding this style of living.

Certainly it would have been much tougher than what it was, if I was not exposed to a lot of things prior to coming here. However, if one has an open-mind and the willingness to learn, I guess anything would be easy.

As I said earlier, learning different cultures and lifestyles is always fun, but,

Do you have the time to learn it?

How important is that to your life?

Most of us want these questions to be answered before even attempting to learn.

From a common person's perspective (not an idealist), if one's chances of working with something is 0%, why waste time in learning it? This theory is sometimes extended to people and culture as well. That's the very reason why most of us don't know a lot about Somalian lifestyle except for the obvious fact that they starve. Who cares? As long am able to help them and do my bit in stopping the starvation am good. This thought certainly beautifies pragmatism, but blocks people comprehension. By this, I mean that some of us don't even attempt to understand some things, just because it appears to be of no direct use to your way of life. But if you think, you would agree that most of the life-lessons that one learn in their time would most probably be from an unexpected source.

Well, I am not suggesting that one should have to learn all kinds of cultures and lifestyles before death, regardless of their connection to it. What I am trying to say here is that one needs to have an open-mind in learning everything, including people/culture/lifestyle.

Confronting ignorance is the best way to start learning. Understand the fact that we don't know a lot about the place, which makes it easier to acclimatize.

People, cultures, lifestyles are like Time. There are no constraints in learning them and it's almost impossible to know it all completely. Unlike Love, Acclimatization gets easier with understanding. The best part about this is that you learn from what you see and understand, not just by assumptions and imaginations. Hence, I guess acclimatization is probably one of the best things that one had to go through in life, so why wait for it?

Media - Credibility

2005-12-28T13:34:00.000-06:00

This is not a political article

It is almost impossible for me to start work without updating myself with what's going around. News! Every one of us is so used to reading something that entertains our quest for knowledge. It varies as we grow up! I still remember the days when I wake up and go directly to the sports section in "The Hindu" even before sipping my first morning coffee and would finish the whole paper with just a glimpse on other sections. And it changes as we progress. We include entertainment, national politics, international relationships, book reviews so on and so forth. But we almost never think on the credibility of the information that we read and share.

Well, credibility is not a big deal when it comes to perceptional articles. A book review, a movie review, a sports column (except for the statistical information) etc are all perceptional articles. But when it comes to information transfer with or without a mere thought transfer, credibility is the most important concept that sometimes we fail to recognize. We just believe, blindfolded by the reputation of the source.

Dramatization and hype brings in money for newspapers as well as other information portals. I'm sure that Aamir Khan's 2nd wedding had more hits than Narayana Murthy's blasts on the corrupt politicians today in Rediff. I wouldn't blame Rediff for that. Its just readership! I still remember this on the e-magazine that we started for the Indian community here in Cookeville. A column on the local gossips was more popular than the other sensible sections. We, as the editors of that magazine, took a while to take that section off, until we gained some readership. What entertains one doesn't necessarily have to entertain other. Readership is an important issue that cannot be understood until we are in to that business. So, as of now, I don't understand the general readership, as chemical engineering doesn't offer me that chance. But the most important thing is honesty. The readers should get information that is credible. Regardless of what section it is. Entertainment, business, sports or anything for that matter!

Now, what made me write this article is a small incident that disturbed my respectful thoughts on the magazine journalism! Let me be concise!

I think it was during the 1991 state assembly elections in Tamilnadu. My mother's school was one of the election booths. The counting was over and Dr.Jayalalitha, the present chief minister of the state, had won the elections by a huge margin. Days after the election, my mom, to my father, handed over a ballot paper that she found in her class room. The ballot paper was valid and a vote was casted to the obvious rival of the winner. Now, from what I overheard then, I may be wrong as well, according to the constitution, an incident like that could even push to an extent of canceling the results and order another round of election in the same constituency. My father couldn't think of going to the police without enough knowledge on the political influence that could change the course of action. So, after some shrewd thinking (!) he and his friends contacted a local political Tamil magazine, Nakeeran, and consulted the issue. The next week Nakeeran's issue had this ballot paper as its title cover, and the story explained that they found this ballot paper in one of the Minister's, Mr.S.D.Somasundarm, garden. I was shocked to read this. Yes, of course my parents would be concerned in publishing the sources, so may be they had some constraints on that. Nevertheless, how can someone write something that's totally not connected to the truth? As I said, dramatization! That helped! What did the magazine earned out of this? A huge increase in the circulation number, at the expense of masking the truth! We can argue on the already tarnished image of the minister. Or the ways the journalist fight to display truth that cannot be revealed. All that is fine! But how someone like me would ever believe a magazine from that instance. I understand that we cannot talk/write truth all the times, but a lie would always be a lie no matter what good or what bad it does.

It's even worse with the advent of online media. Blogs and all! People talk about plagiarism on one side, credibility of the information on the other. Well from what I see, if we are married to online media, spend some time before you give birth to trust. Not just based on reputation but on consistency and confirmation! Media is powerful, so is knowledge. As Uncle Ben says in the First of the Spidy series, with great power comes great responsibility, when you think you acquire power through a powerful source, make sure you know that it is the truth and not a perception! If you can't, just don't trust. Accumulate it as just knowledge with a tinge of skeptical illusion before conclusion!

Thanks and Sorry

2005-12-14T17:48:00.001-06:00

Probably the first thing that someone who just steps in to my unexpendable acquaintance circle (from what I see, there is no word called 'inexpendable' correct me if am wrong) of friends knows is that I hate 'apologies and thanks' from them.

May be I should address it now.

Common courtesies are very important as you breathe your way out. A small act of appreciation or acknowledgement makes a world of difference to a lot of people. When you get to do a favor and in response you hear a 'thanks', it makes you feel good. Certainly! It does motivate you to help people more. So it is, when it comes to apologies! If there is a situation that warrants an apology, it amazingly makes you feel a little better than it is when left unsaid...

From my perspective, when I thought of these things a little deeper, I understood that it goes well only with macroscopic personalities. I feel completely connected to these common courtesies only with people like my boss, my colleagues, bearers or any new stranger for that matter. But, when it comes to someone I know well, say beyond my unexpendable acquaintance circle, I feel disconnected. I feel awful to hear those 'thanks and apologies' from the people I am connected to, even with slightest possible emotional way.

Now, how would they know that I don't like it? I scream! I try to script it in to their brain cells and make sure that I hate to hear those from them, and also try and make them understand not to expect them from me. I don't know for sure, but it appears to me that most of the people that I know, take this as a compliment, that me 'not expecting a thanks and apologies' and vice versa. Or atleast I will make sure it is something that I expect and give with only a few people. I may sound a little 'attitude'ious, but nevertheless I need to complete the thought transfer.

I don't want to take anything away from the best parts of common courtesies. As I said earlier, being courteous is very important. But, with whom and to what extent is the question. When I looked up Merriam-Webster for the synonyms of courteous it gave me 'marked by respect for and consideration of others'. A sensible human being behaves with respect and consideration to his/her fellow beings. Yes! completely understandable! But when you term someone as your friend haven't you already had those inscribed! The level of consideration and respect increases as we aggregate in to a relationship. Especially, with something involves your true self. So as we propagate towards something like that, don't you want to differentiate it from what we do with common people? The acts of consideration and respect with friends is not by thanking or apologizing to them, is by understanding and relating to them.

Years ago, I was surviving through a viral fever week. I was so weak and was not even able to stand-up. No source of energy was fed in, what I ate was out in a jiffy through the same way. Sweet mother was trying to get rid of it, by forcing some energy in to me through food. As I said, she failed, I messed up the place and I saw her cleaning it. Helplessly, I couldn't do a thing. I said 'I am sorry ma'. And obviously, the response was in a burning look which said it all. I messed up more with those words than by my intestine reaction. That's the last time, I apologized/thanked her for something trivial.

If you hate to hear/say thanks and apologies to your family now and then, so it is with friends and other important people!

Relationships are beautiful, straining and strengthening it is in your own way of handling. There are 'no duties' and nothing like 'I am supposed to do this' when it comes to relationships. There is no reason behind whatever we do for friends and other important people. We just do it. No expectations and no measuring gauges. Because for some reason, it makes you feel good when you do the right thing, by being there for someone when they need you. It's a privilege you give to those kinds of relationships. And according to me, thanking and apologizing, mocks the importance that I give to those relationships!

'Thanks and Sorry' - I was thinking if I should delete those words from the dictionary of friends or place it marked 'should be used at extreme conditions'. I opted for the latter. So, according to me, Thanks and Apologies are marked as the ones with high power. Never use it with friends!

If (u.eq.friend) then
thanks.and.sorry = sin
end (not endif)

'Love' from a Kodak moment - WY4 - Part 2

2005-12-08T13:21:00.001-06:00

Part 1 is here

As days progressed, we understood each other and started to spend time more and more with each other as we finally approached the big stage called Marriage.

Man it sounds great. I wish it was like this. But as you all can guess it was not. I was getting Romeoer day by day, doing stupid things with the motorcycle, sunglasses et al.

One fine day, Mr.Bob, my beloved pop, stopped by my street-cricket stint and told me to get in his transportation device that he calls a scooter. We went towards an unknown destination, as I was enjoying it because the path was towards her house. Within the proximity of her apartment, dad stopped his vehicle and asked me "Where is her apartment?"

"Who?" with a suddenly-developed puzzled look.

"Don't act. You know who am talking about. Priyanka!" he said.

As I realized how my beloved friends, who were there at my house last evening, found their way to appreciate the veg briyani that they had in my place, I said, "Here is her apartment. Don't worry I am not serious or anything, it's just for fun"

"I know, still I wanted to know how she looks like" he was curious and led me to spend our rest of the 10 min journey eventfully describing her, the way I saw her...yes to my dad.

Hence everyone in my family knew about her and also understood that I was not serious and I was in love. Yet again. Whatsoever, they were curious to see her.

Few days later, a pretty close family friend of ours, who lived downstairs, planned to have a Salwar exhibition opposite to my house. Naturally the billing section was few feet way from where I eat everyday. As I said already, Salwars and Dhuppatas means the world to Priyanka as well as her friends, henceforth the laws of attraction prevailed. I knew she was going to be there. Unfortunately, my whole family as well as the friends knew this. She came. She conquered. I pointed who she is from a distance, and left the place without being able to bear each one of my acquaintances walking close by and having a good look at her. It was funny to witness that. The point is that my family was approved by the way she looked and was assuming that it was important to me.

Days passed by, I grew up, went to college, found new interests. As I said, she became a part of my pastence....not history yet!

One day, as usual, I made a new friend over the train journey from Madras to Chidambaram. Needless to say, it was a She. Like I always do, I made the world smaller, and found that she knew Priyanka. I spoke to this girl as if I knew Priyanka, and the rest of the night was spent with the clan trying to explore more and more of each other.

A week later, I saw this girl again in the train. This time she was with a surprise. She said she spoke to Priyanka, and apparently she claimed to know me. For a guy who was assuming to have taken a rogue role in her life, she claiming to know me is a big thing.

"I spoke about you to Priyanka. She seem to know you from somewhere, she said that you are a nice guy. Just that you were caught in a Bad gang" is what she said.

The first thing that came to my mind was my folks. That weekend I got back to rip their lives apart. "Guys, see what's the result of us being naughty and unruly. If not for you guys, may be she would have considered me. It's all in the game, I was not serious and right now I am busy with other interests anyways. But remember I won't forget this…and I know what to do when I am serious with anyone down the line" which is the most seriously funny thing I have ever told to these folks.

Days passed by, Guna was waiting over the weekend. I still don't remember that if I heard this thro Guna or someone-else. Whatsoever, the essence of the story was in there.

"Dei, how do you think that she know your name?", he asked

"May be one of you guys shouted when she was around! Comeon da! We have our own way of finding the girls name we are interested in. May be she had her way of finding the folk's name who was interested in her. How does it matter anyway?", I said.

"Apparently, the guy she was talking about is not you!" he said as I was not surprised. "Remember, my friend Bharath, who hung out with us the other day, it was him she was talking about. She met him a coupla days ago and he found that apparently 'he had claimed to her friend in a train that he knew Priyanka'" - Oops! That was me - "And did you know who the bad gang was? Us As you always claim…the clan reflects the leadership….so do you understand the repercussions of staying in excited state for life"

I was dumbfounded. …Man I am the self-proclaimed leader, as every one of us, of this bad gang…am not even in the vicinity of being in her good books at the least! I was assuming that she thought I was put up with a bad gang ….but now it's needless to stay …that am Bad gang…the next thing was that we were rolling on the floor and laughing at this….. Celebration started…drinks all over….we all went to the bunk shop to drink the infamous "Rs.1.50 Rasna" that comes with a tag line that we stole from Pepsi "nothing official about it"

We were drinking and discussing how bad we are and how we can improve and get worser! Momentarily, I heard the sweetest voice asking for some thing in the bunk shop. Without my knowledge my jaw dropped...I turned around …and looked in to her…The voice, the eyes, the looks…for the 54th time in my life, I claimed that "I am in love for the first time".

'Love' from a Kodak moment - WY4 - Part 1

2005-12-07T10:49:00.001-06:00

Time for some walk down the memory lane…after a series of seemingly serious posts, I thought I should take a break and post something less read-worthy but remember-worthy!

As I claimed before, somewhere in one of my previous posts, I have fallen in love quite a few times. Well, with respect to love, I am not even close to Forrest Gump, because I safely would say that I don't know what Love is. But sure I loved to tell that 'I am in love', without knowing what it is. Yes! That's what I did quite a few times, and this is one of those! Good gods, that it stayed with me and didn't take that humongous amplification, unlike some stupidities, and push me to tell it to those people involved.

For some reason, throughout my life the girls that I come across with the name Priyanka were all on the best looking category. It started from the one that I have been trying to forget but couldn't do so! And henceforth the flashback begins…

Statutory warning: There is no message at the end of this misery called a series of comical sequences in the life of yours truly.

"Dude, I have nothing to do for the next few hours? Do you want to go to the Marina beach?" Guna tried to make it sound as an unusual remark to overcome a fact that we are always jobless.

"Yeah! Let's go there! I know that one of my friends is coming there today with a couple of her friends…! Dude! She is so damn pretty da…quite lately I have been thinking of falling in love with her!" said Santhosh, indicating the motivation factors to step in and start our walk towards the coast.

In a jiffy we were along the coastlines of the Marina, trying to find the three seemingly good-looking girls. After quite a while, looking for them all along the second largest beach in the world, we found them near the waves. We were a group of six notorious young "wannabe" men, at least we thought so. So, everyone around was looking at us for the reasons that we did not want to know. But all we wanted was that one look from her and she did. "Cloud 9!" I screamed within myself!

After few following stints, it started to get monotonous. As for me, I did not find her particularly attractive. She was good. But nothing in her shook me, the way I wanted to be. So I was trying to find someone else to entertain my late-teen self for the rest of the evening, so was the other four with me…. all of a sudden…something stuck us…we thought of using the camera we had ….and may be get a good picture of her.... so she lasts longer than she would!

Now, who is going to take it…and it's important that we need to get a good closer shot…tough job indeed…. and henceforth we needed a scapegoat …someone who doesn't think about the world, rather at that time world is just those girls, or someone for whom it doesn't matter…. well we had one guy who was a perfect fit…and he was the volunteered one…Hemanand…. We went closer….

We stayed a few steps away…and he approached…as he heard the three girls were talking bout what means a world to them, the color combinations on their dhuppatas!! He stepped in closer…jus 3-4 ft distance … with the camera in the right place for the snap….

I don't know if it's the movies or in reality, a beautiful girl always hangs out with a couple of below average ones (dochus) and always stay in the right position! Not that I want to make statement about the other two, but even in this case, she was hanging out with them and sitting exactly in the middle as the side fiddles talking as I said what meant the world to them. She was in the perfect position as if she knew that we were going to take a picture.

"Excuse me" he screamed, the moment they looked at him. Clicked it. Thanked them. Swooshed in 2 seconds.

Obviously the Paprazism doesn't happen to them quite often, hence they were perturbed. They picked all their stuff and started to follow him, as he started running. We all did not know how to react and hence scattered all around the beach. This is not something that we all wanted to do, but something excited us and we followed the gut feeling that turned in to partial guilt. We ran all over the place, and finally finished the evening, meeting back at our usual joint near my place.

After an argument of developing/exposing it…we finally agreed on seeing how it came out to be….right away we paid our visit to the studio.

Few days passed by as we started to forget what happened. One fine evening, Santhosh stopped by to show us those pictures.

The picture was not perfect! But she was! For the 37th time in my life, I claimed that 'I am in love for the first time'. She was ravishingly beautiful, much better than how I saw her in person. But then, Santhosh was interested in her, henceforth as a sacrificial anode, I had to control my emotions that were overflowing.

Days passed by, Santhosh found a new interest. Never told me why he found a quitter in himself. I was more jobless…So I planned to cement my Love. I was exactly like those road side Romeos that you get to see in Tamil movies, making fun of people around me, trying to get her attention in all possible ways. And the fact that she was living a few streets away from me helped to stay within her spectrum of vision and thoughts. Finally, she knew me for all possible reasons that I don't want to know.

As a matter of fact, I asked her once if she needs a ride back home from her software center, where she was waiting on something. She smiled, which by the way shook me the way I wanted to be, and said that she would some other day as she is expecting someone to pick her up that day. I know it sounds stupid now, but then it was bliss then. She smiled!

Part 2 is here

Reputation

2005-11-16T10:20:00.001-06:00

I know I have ruined my reputation of regularity in the blogosphere, but couldnt help because of the priority issues. Research and other stuff held the spectrum of my thoughts strictly within the limits of Chemical Engineering and surroundings. Here I am using the few moments I have to try and rebuild my reputation!

The 48 laws of Power byRobert Greene is a book thats hard to digest as well as forget. I guess I was in my 3rd year Engineering when I stumbled upon this. All the 48 laws definetlyworth a read, but I am going to stick on to the one which was occupying my mind for a while now.

Law 5

So Much Depends on Reputation Guard it with your Life

Reputation is the cornerstone of power. Through reputation alone you can intimidate and win; once you slip, however, you are vulnerable, and will be attacked on all sides. Make your reputation unassailable. Always be alert to potential attacks and thwart them before they happen. Meanwhile, learn to destroy your enemies by opening holes in their own reputations. Then stand aside and let public opinion hang them

My agreement with this is just partial. When it comes to power, may be the above law holds true, but for the day-to-day existence and character development its not entirely true. Reputation is something thats developed on a slower basis, especially a good one, while it takes just an instance to spoil it.

Bad reputation:The strength of the reputation is an important factor. For example, the amount of time that would take a common man/woman to believe a new made-up infidelity issue onGeorge Bush and Bill Clinton going to be phenomenally different. The person would believe the Clinton issue much faster than the Bush issue. This is truly because of the reputation the latter possess.

Good reputation: From the sports perspective, take the final seconds of a 90s Bulls basket ball game for instance.The amount of concentration that Michael Jordan would attract just because of his reputation of winning those kinds of games is way beyond the rules of normality.

Well, least said. Reputation is important and guarding it is even more.

Now whats the effect?

Does reputation control the thought process? Yes it does and its important in its own way.

Let me talk from my standpoint, in a room if there is a hot discussion on some topic of common interest, a familiar crowd would feel disturbed if there is no noise from my side. Be it sense or not, an opinion is what people expect from yours truly.Most of the time someway or the other I get to talk less non-sense before the gibberish, but sometimes I have to fight the thought process that urges me to talk something, instead of the best sensible thing that I would come up with a little more time. Fortunately, I was able to win most of my own fights, thought it might not appear so.

Again, from the sports perspective, how many times have we seen high-caliber players succumb to their own reputation-pressure? Sometimes, I am a match-winner thought and I need to win this thing, comes to the mind more than strategizing the victory pattern. Finally, ending up in losing it due to the own pressure. MJ for instance have lost more games than he has won with his last minute antics. But the amount of effort and time that someone with a good reputation spends on safe guarding cannot be quantified. Anyways, let me not attract the ESPN crowd here.

Does the possibility of the rejecting reputation and being ourselves exist?

I guess it does.

If you think a little bit, you would understand that reputation is a derived quantity. Its not necessarily true. Most of the times we dont even know what our reputation is with the concerned people. After all, each one of us is not Michael or Bill. So, whats the point in controlling your thought process, in instances where you dont even know about your reputation? Dont you think that its more of a burden? Try to throw it and act like yourself. I am sure you will definitely appreciate the freedom you get in the thought process. If we can do this with expendable acquaintances, we can do it with everyone else? How tough is this? Trust meon this, its not easy. But once you figure out a pattern to do this and realize that

Your reputation is in the hands of others. That's what a reputation is. You can't control that. The only thing you can control is your character. --Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Its an amazing ride from then on. People tend to take slow or fast steps in attempting to understand you based on your reputation, but its your character that makes them stay with you longer or shorter. May be we should try and remember that when we walk through our decisions.

NO

2005-10-28T14:22:00.002-05:00

Well, will I get any perks for flaunting my weakness today!?

May be the perk would be learning how not to consider it as a weakness anymore.

Anyways, I am talking about my ‘No’-disability! For some reason, ‘No’ was one of the most difficult words for me to pronounce. So most of the time, I opt to skip it and use the easy ‘Yes’ instead. Have I landed in to any problems because of this? Yes, a whole bunch of it, but as I say here, it was all temporary and was never a part of my worry set. My worry set will always include simple things like procrastinating a research assignment or dinner for that matter. So, its just trivial things I worry about, and in most cases, the bigger things are never even considered as a problem in the first place.

There is not a single instant I have said a ‘yes’, when I get this smallest speck of thought on the consequences, which could be huge, but at the same time, it takes an eternity for me to tell a ‘No’ there, even when it is quite obvious from the first instant.

This could have been in one of Wonder Years story, but I guess it would be a great example to deliver my No-disability. I will try and make this short to make life easy for you. Anyways, this happened in the year 2002, I knew this American couple from one of my leadership adventures with the Indian association here. And the couple was not just a normal couple, instead they were living together..... and they also had a kid. Everything is fine, except for the fact that both of them were girls. And the kid was a result of their association with a donor (if you know what I mean). I did not know about this, until I knew them pretty well. Well, doesn’t matter, I don’t discriminate people based on their sexual apparatus, so I was myself as always.

Few months down the lane, an electronic shocker was sitting inbox, in the form of a request. They asked me if I was broad minded. As usual, I lied, I said “Yes”. The next email was something that I should have sent to my ancestors, to show the respect that someone from the western culture had on our cultural values and family traditions! The logical theory was at its best, I knew there has to be unbearable request attached to the much hyped email about India and Indian families. Yes there was! Poor scientists are still not able to figure out a direct way to make babies from the same-sex marriage. So the only option they had was to ask a donor, and since they were in love with the Indian tradition, they asked for it to yours truly. And my response was

I am honored beyond words. I know that this is a big decision for you, and so it is for me. Its going to take a little while before I tell you my decision,but for that I need to know more about what you exactly have in mind…..

A simple “No” would have ended the whole issue then and there. Instead I prolonged it for a while and finally after a bunch of hiccups I had to tell it in a different way. Diplomacy helped, but why was the delay in the telling the obvious NO with much contemplation on how to convey it.

When we say a ‘NO’, we feel like we are letting the other person down if we say it. We feel GUILTY even before we respond! So there we go, a Yes instead of a No. Or sometimes a prolonged NO.

What do we do? How do we get rid of this thing? Is there a way to do it? The only way to do it is to be insensitive? Or could diplomacy help?

Well, my niece, almost 3 years old, thinks for 0.0123 secs before responding with a No. May be that kind of a little knowledge on people’s sensitivites would help!?

Its easy to respond with a No for someone who is trying to sell a crappy T-shirt across the street. But it is not easy to tell a No to some friend who is asking you do something during the busiest span at work. Even just the considerations of sensitivity factors would hinder the No answers.

Or it’s the bond with the consequences of the “Yes”. For example, my friend would never let anyone touch his most priced possesion. Ofcourse that’s his bike (motorcycle). He just hates to see any of the freaky technical changes that he claims to happen when someone else other than him uses it.

Atleast from the professional side, may be we can do this, Practice. Think before we answer. Think about the requests, whether they're for our time, energy, money, or something else? How does it feel to say yes? How does it feel to say no? Which feels better? And when we say it, we should do it with grace – a matter of truth. If you can, refer them to someone else who can help them or show them how to do it for themselves.

Initially, apologies, excuses and guilt would be a part of it. But practice would demolish it. And people will start accepting the fact that we don’t yes all the time. Saying No to things that we don’t want helps us in a lot of ways and gives us loads of time to say yes to things that we want to do.

How to do this to our personal side of life? Teach me! If we can deal our personal side and the professional side in similar ways, may be it will be easy. But as for me that isn’t life. May be the inability of the “No” is what binds people together in the personal life. So on the personal side may be we opt to say 'yes' and stay with minor troubles for major happiness.

PS: Don’t tell me to read Don't Say Yes When You Want to Say No: Making Life Right When It Feels All Wrong by Herbert Phd Fensterheim, Jean Baer. I have been trying to find the book and time together for a long time now.

Roomies!

2005-10-12T20:04:00.002-05:00

My life with roomies started from my first year of collegiate education - 1996….sounds like a long time ago! Since then I have never experienced an “alone” stint for more than few weeks, and when I do there is always someone I will find my fun with! Be it a roommate or a friend who shares the same thought process, the fun part will always appear, getting rid of the “alone” feeling!

Well, with roomies, the seemingly idealistic case is when we spend the few months/years of together time that we have and peacefully part with or without the sentimental bull and promises to stay in communication grounds, spending the rest of the lives trying hard to keep it in tact. Or sometimes we end up as great friends for the rest of our lives. But things doesn’t always flow this smooth! Sometimes turbulence prevails in every step we take!

“Don’t try to teach me how to live! I think I can manage at 22”

“I don’t think I can be with you guys any more. I can’t stand the way you guys make fun of me, and just me all the time”

Right after the regular Wal-Mart grocery shopping, “Well, I guess its time separate grocery bills! I don’t think I will eat chips, so I don’t want to share that in the bill”

And this happened even before the invention of cell phone, “I won’t receive any phone calls! So I guess I won’t share the phone bill”

All these quotes were from people who claimed to be my roomies one time or the other. So you can see I was not the best roommate in the world and so were they. Considering the fact that I had quite a lot of roomies (you are bound to when you have such a long student life) and only a few have lodged the first information report, I can claim to be a reasonably good human! May be all these roomies are the most important reason for the little patience that I think I possess. Anyways, let me step out of this autoroomiography and make this generic to make it an interesting reading material.

It is amazingly true that a good friend doesn’t necessarily have to be a good roomie and this holds true the other way too! The constraint holds good only when your character is almost framed, and is definitely false when you are stepping in the so-called character development stage. Most of the roomie problems start with the daily chores or stuff that involves money. I have seldom had/heard of roommate problems during my undergrad days when neither money nor the chores is a headache. Perhaps it’s the age thing, or may be it’s all those other petty stuff that derives this enormous amount of importance.

But life without a roomie wouldn’t be fun as well. Both from the monetary as well as from the fun perspective, it is easy with a roommate. I have seen loads of people who fail in the “adjustments-0001” course. The examination revealed that these people were never passed through the “life-with-a-roommate” phase and have learnt just to demand and not to accept. Life with a good roomie shows you lot of good things and life with a bad roomie teaches you even more. Again, good and bad is a personal definition so there is no point in arguing which one is right.

On the other hand, how could we create peace? As I said earlier, I have had several roomies and there is atleast one quality that I would like to learn from each one of them. And that attitude certainly sowed the seeds of harmony under the roof. This learning process was mutual most of the time, and I had my way through by making them believe that I might have one. More the qualities that we look for, more the harmony we derive. Sometimes, if we keep looking for those qualities in vain, it creates chaos as well. So it’s highly necessary to accept what they have and not expect a lot of what they don’t have. If we try not teaching life rather than learning it, I guess roomies wouldn’t be such a problematic term.

Remember to derive fun in everything we do. I had this roomie who was amazingly adept in cooking! Ofcourse it’s sarcastic! He had once displayed all his talents in the art of making something he claimed to be sambar. Everything was fine with that except for one thing. What he made was a bread sambar. Yes! you read it right. Bread was the major ingredient. Right off the bat, it was horrible. Couldn’t resist, but finished the dinner with curd rice et al without even going near the untouchable. Till date we cease his energy with this! Whenever he is in high state making fun of everyone around him, this story pops to shut him up! Like my soppu story. That day would have been a mess if we had irritated him as well as ourselves for making that sambar. Instead, we waited to appreciate his effort and not the product and till date its fun to get back and see how bad it was.

I don’t want to compare roomies to co-passengers in the life-train, where they get down as they reach their destination. Roomies are beyond co-passengers, sometimes they teach how to live and sometimes how not to! Either way it’s a positive progression. So you derive something with them and remember it unlike what you do with co-passengers.

When you are miles apart and even if you live and die with your cell phone and other communication devices, a “personal-comfort” is always priceless. Be it from a friend or from a roommate, it is worth beyond the words of expression. So when we claim that he/she is a bad roomie or a good roomie, be aware of the fact that it reflects what you are with him/her.

Ragging

2005-09-28T13:45:00.001-05:00

August 8th, 1996

1650 hrs – Out of the Engineering Drawing class

1710 hrs – Meet outside the Saradharam hotel

1730 hrs – Take the point to point bus to Chennai and live happily ever after

No, this is not the plan devised by a couple to elope and marry.

More than 12 late teen first year folks (freshmen) were devising this amazing fool-proof plan to get the hell out of what once considered as an obnoxious cant-stay-for-even-a-week place. However, this place was later termed as heaven by the same folks. Annamalai University, my undergraduate institution, is the place that was accused to have instilled the Chemical engineering concepts inside me, instead in reality, ended up teaching the art of learning more than Chemical engineering.

Anyways, all these plans were to fly away from the senior pressure. To avoid ragging!

Everything worked out well except for the fact that we had two seniors who were waiting for us in the bus and tagged along till the end. The journey, itself is a big story all together, was filled with public dance performances, accosting a stranger girl, selling watches, asking the flight timings to the bus-conductor etc. Nevertheless, its one of the best trips we all had. As a matter of fact, this so-called interaction was entirely positive. Even though at one point of time atleast one of our gang member’s stupidities was glorified in public, every one of us enjoyed it. At the end of journey, every one of us had this same thought process if this is what ragging all about then I am having fun with it.

Unfortunately, that’s not the case, most of the time. Some people not only fail to understand the reason for the very existence of this culture, but fail to even listen. The attitudes of some of our forgettable acquaintances are astonishing, extracting fun by shear intimidation. Some of them get their work done in a harmless fashion. Whereas, some might get hurt in the process, if I can just use “hurt” for that matter.

I have heard suicide stories, homo-sexual encounters, physical abuse and even murder. For people from South India who knew about my institution, I am sure that the title of this post would have definitely popped up the shocking Navarasu story that happened in 1996. For others, in short, a first year student was murdered and his body was sliced into pieces and was transported to different parts of the state in order to create a diversion and escape from the murder trial. The reason was later found and was termed as ragging.

Following the incident, a very stringent Tamilnadu Prevention of Ragging Act was enforced in 1997. When he died on November 6, 1996, authorities found his severed body parts in a hostel room. Navarasu was a first year student of the Raja Muthaiah Medical College, Annamalai University, in Chidambaram. He was 19. Though his hostel-mate John David later admitted to ragging Navarasu to death and the Cuddalore district and sessions judge on March 11, 1988, awarded him a 36-year sentence, a division bench of the Madras high court acquitted him in October 2001. There was a furor across the state, and rumors of money changing hands between the judges and the defendant's family gained ground.

Now I see that the person who killed this fresher is outside based on the reason that circumstantial evidence was not sufficient to prove beyond reasonable doubt.

Well, let me not get deeper into this piece of information and digress.

Anyways, the point I was trying to nail here is the attitude and understanding. Most of us are blind followers of tradition. People for some reason, are happy following what was executed earlier and reported to be successful in extracting fun. If we pay a little attention, we can understand that the people who tend to go away from these unwritten rules called tradition and sill find a way to extract more positive outcome are called trend setters. Sometimes, we come across different kind of people who create a negative impact and assume them to trend setters. Ragging was one such activity. What was once an interaction medium was converted in to intimidation medium!

Some people claim that ragging helps in preparing the fresher to the more demanding life ahead of them. It instills patience and teaches them how to cope with the ever changing world around! Well, atleast for the professional colleges in India, the teachers themselves are behaving well enough to intimidate and tease the pride of the students to instill patience and all other sub qualities that we were supposed to learn through ragging. So, the middle finger is way up for this reason to promote ragging!

I don’t want to be the lord, preaching you to seek happiness in other’s peace. Get practical! Most of us forget to understand actions. If we take a minute and think, why are we doing this? What are the reasons behind our actions? I guess we would be able to get rid of the intimidation part out of this and start to extract more positive fun.

The best part of ragging in India is that the wrong culture is slowly disappearing. Let’s hope the wrong culture vanishes and positive ways of increasing interaction prevails.

Communication hain! In vain!

2005-09-14T18:35:00.001-05:00

Don’t worry this is not a Hindi post.

“Abbe, Mere ko thoda help chaaiyiye, tu free hain na?”, he asked, assuming that I can understand whatever he was trying to convey!

“Kabhi haan kabhi naa” I said, the first movie title that came to my mind, as my ass fuming on his assumption!

“Acha, sun…” and he started talking something which is no where near my comprehending capabilities! After extreme difficulties, I had to search, invent and live with words like Ruk… Nahi or something like that to stop him in the middle to say that I really did not know that my first answer failed to convey the message that I don’t know Hindi and am really bad at it.

Hindi along with English is listed as the official language of India and a significant number of people use this language to communicate, yet I was able to survive my 25 years, actually 26 as of today, without knowing it. As a south Indian, it was never a big deal for me. I am not sure about the other states, but as for Tamilnadu, you aren’t lost without Hindi. Considering the fact that my school population was dominated by a fair amount of Hindi speaking people, my Hindi skills(!) are quite surprising to most of my acquaintances. On the other hand the Northern most part I have been to, in India, is may be somewhere in Andhra! So, I never felt the necessity.

Yet, it never stopped me from going to all those so-called contemporary classics of my age! Hindi movies! I still can’t forget Dil to pagal hain 1st day 1st show. Couldn’t get a better ticket, so paid Rs.65 for Rs.6.50 ticket and was watching the movie from the second row. This is time when subtitles were like time travel….impossible to achieve….especially in theatres . The climax was on…needless to say that I was lost…

“Rahul! Nam tho sunna hoga!” or something like that. Shahrukh Khan was about to dump the gorgeous Madhuri (the very reason for me being there) and himself, when Guna and myself couldn’t understand a single speck of what’s happening in the movie! …What the hell..? They were just singing together…why in the world they are dumping each other! is what I was thinking!

That’s when I saw that….two typical Indian girls in the first row…in tears with uncontrollable emotions!

“Guna! I think this is an emotional scene. May be we should react!...What ya say?” I did not have a clue how to respond!

“Ok! Mams. Let’s appreciate the acting! There is nothing else we can do” he said, and thus we ended the emotional exhibitions with a row of whistles for Shahrukh and Madhuri’s acting…who as usual did nothing but walked away from each other and called it as acting skills. Ended up saving some of the worst “Are you from this planet?” stares from the folks who were involved in the senti”mental” sorrow.

So, in summary! This is how we both reach each other. I meant Hindi and Myself! Never goes well together.

But it’s quite different when you are outside India or may be outside Tamilnadu. Almost, everyone assumes that you understand Hindi. Let me not delve deeper in to the sanity of that assumption. But, not knowing a language that most of the other country folks think as one of the basic attributes of a person from India could be hurting. I have had people asking me, “You mean to say that you don’t know the language the most of your country folks speak?” Before explaining the fact that, I can still be at my best in my country without knowing it, and sometimes arguing it based on the distributed Hindi speaking populations and dialect stories, it would occur that perhaps I could have avoided a whole lot of crap by knowing Hindi.

For some reasons, all my attempts to marry Hindi failed miserably.

I still remember one of my good friends emailing me about my completeness as an Indian association Leader with a little Hindi skill. In the end, I turned out to be better than few of my predecessors who were blessed with all language capability.

Perhaps it’s a South Indian thing, which is sealing my brains from learning and understanding Hindi. Or it’s a jinx of some kind. But from where I was, I have certainly improved and have started to accept and understand it or at the least attempting for it.

“Abbe, amazing catch! yaar!” I was attempting to appreciate a decent catch on the field that day, when a friend of mine noticed a tinge of Hindi.

“Baratha…Kya bath hain! You are good man! Hindi and you…may be you both are coming together yaar” he said.

Abbe, amazing catch! Yaar, if this is Hindi. I think I can survive anywhere overseas.

In anycase, as you see, I have never felt the necessity of learning it. I was never pushed to a point, where Hindi was my only way out. All I hope is that if a situation arises and when I understand the necessity, it shouldn’t be late. Right now, may be the Abbe, amazing catch! Yaar Hindi is good enough to be in this clan and say that I can manage with the language that atleast 180 million people in India speak!

Student..! Eternal!?

2005-09-08T22:47:00.001-05:00

“6 X 7 = 44”, I said as the Evert in my mom demonstrated her forehand skills to my Cerebellum!

“Tables are the most important thing for the rest of your life! You make sure you are not making any mistakes!” she said as I struggled without realizing a calculator would help me in years to come! – It was 1983 and I was forced to listen.

“Physics, Chemistry, Biology….ah ...here you go! it’s not going to be easy this year. You better start getting serious…No more baby talks brother!” my brother was competing for the most improved Satan of the year award! It was 1987 and I was confused and did not have a clue if I have to listen or not.

“Well, it's 9th standard. This means no more street-cricket. You need to pull your socks and work your heart and soul to get in to the first group!” my father was dead serious and something in my heart said may be he is right! Lets do it! …after last few days of cricket and fun....... It was 1993 and I was changing.

“What do I say? I still can’t understand why and how you screwed it up! Your marks are not that bad …but certainly doesn’t reflect your skills” my mom was concerned.

“Maa! No worries…for this mark I will get the group that I want to go in…Maths, Physics, Chemistry and Comp. Sci with French!…I still can’t understand what’s the big deal in this 10th standard exams. Its just a formality to get in to a group” with vengeance and furious anger I claimed myself to be the Lord!

“Shut up Barath! After scoring like this, you dare to raise your voice!?” that’s mom’s way of telling I don’t have an answer!! It was 1994 and I started to talk.

“Barath!!? Its 4.10 in the morning!!” my dad woke me up!

“Yes appa! Am up!!” I responded with my 12th standard chemistry book right beside me.

0420 coffee. 0745 breakfast. 0815-1405 Gill Adarsh. 1445-1700 Math or French tution. 1800-2130 Physics and Chemistry. 2200 dinner. 2230 homeworks, exams preps etc., 2345 and after sleep. ….0420 coffee again! No weekends! No holidays! Day in and Day out this was my schedule for a year! That’s how middle class corps works!!

I fell in love! With an open category (OC) dream, called a professional degree. May be it was a forced dream!It was 1995, I was focused for the first time.

“Well, you have options Mr.Barath. Chemical or Computer Science? Which one do you prefer!?” I can’t bet if I was the first on in the world, but I am sure I was the only one in the room thinking that Chemical Engineering sounded geekier than computer science! It was 1996 and I started to see a future!

“Machi! Could you explain this shrinking core model!?” my friend was absolutely lost in translation. As for him, Chemical Engineering was Latin.

“Mams, it’s the first one on the Appadithan concept list!” I kindled!

“What the f(*& is that? Man are we in the same planet..did I skip a chapter”, he was thinking loud!

“Appadithan means “it’s like that”, which means you can’t understand a shit! You will, when you do your masters degree! So, shut your garb and assume that you understood and just puke it back if you need marks. For heavens sake, we just have 2 hrs before the exam”…did I just let my secret out!!? I guess it was 1998 and I was not even attempting to work!

“Perfidious?” I asked Vivek, who ran the query in his word-list-data-base-system and said, “Treacherous, Disloyal..!”

“Perfecto!” I said as we explored our brilliance with Barrons! It was 1999, I was preparing for the inevitable brain drain.

“Did you finish the assignment? If so, email the file to me. I will make some changes and submit! After the cafeteria job…I don’t think I will be able to finish the homework myself” my earthquake friend cried as he was trying to be in touch with his M.S course material. It was 2000, and I was working!

“Dr. I guess I can say that I just finished my final exam of my final course in life!” which means I did not have anything to talk for that meeting that day.

“Never say that Barath! You will never know how much you would have to learn later in life! May be you have a PhD in the making!” said my advisor! It was 2002, and I was en route to add a couple of letters more to my educational adventures!

“Dei Chinni! How are you?” my friend usually calls me with all new made up names, especially in the excited state!

“Who the f*&^ is that? Chinni?” I had no clue what he was talking about!

“Machi that’s you da…you are the only one in our gang who is still a student…25 and studying!! You are our Chinni Jayanth da” I was rolling on the floor for this! (for non-tamil folks, Chinni Jayanth is a film artist who is known for acting as a college student even at his late 30s)

Did I just finish my last course work, my candidacy et al and finally have just my research left?Its year 2005, I am still a student and loving it. I am listening. I am changing. I am working. I am learning and with all this I am living! Living in a dream of reality. A technocrat in the making, killing an almost eternal student!? May be in days to come! Right now I have nothing but “I am still an academic student” to proclaim! And sure I am in love with these last few months!

Hopefully!

50 and HOT, and Tag

2005-09-05T11:19:00.002-05:00

50 and HOT

I wish it was my age and the statement is true, apparently its not and I don’t know if it will be true when am!

How do I begin? I am not good in thanking people, especially the ones who are close to me. So here I go folks, as I realize that this is 50th post since I started, I thought I should appreciate your regular/occasional glance at my blog without which there is no motivation for new ideas. So keep visiting and don’t dare to stop motivate me with your comments.

If you are used to my posts, am sure you will approve the fact that I give a lot of details, necessary sometimes and trivial most of the times. Ofcourse, there are a gazillion more imperfections that people tend to enjoy as well as criticize! May be I will change in days to come, so if you guys have any suggestions on any of the aspects with respect to the posts, comment and let me know and lets hope that the dude inside me listens to it.

Now let’s get back to the blogosphere.

Tag!! - Could'nt say No to this

I generally don’t prefer Tags…but Iam not a great “No” person too! So here we go Ghost this one is for you. Can’t say a “No” to you!

Seven things you plan to do before you die!!

Graduate!!!
Travel around the world
Understand Love
Make more friends
Write a book
Try to be a professional athlete for 1 day
Stop Tags

Seven things you can do!!

Stop writing this Tag
Be a little less straight forward
Stop analyzing trivial things
Be a better phone person
Fight the fights that can be won, before reasoning it!
Read more
Write more

Seven things you can't do.

Shut up
Beat up
Lose
Quit
Increase my tolerance limit
Stop helping
Be someone else

Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex!!

Eyes, hair and the simple dress sense
Knowledge and attitude
Sense of humor
Affection and organization
Maturity
The way some of them confuse their maturity to men’s immaturity
Being a female itself

Seven things you say most!!!

Wetti
Mama
Machan
Kepmaari
Mollamaari
Mudcheviki
Lie

Seven celebrity crushes (People I want to be like (Iwtbl) or be with (bw))!!!

Michael Jordan (Iwtbl)
Sachin Tendulkar (Iwtbl)
A.R.Rehman (Iwtbl)
Rajinikanth (Iwtbl)
The Basic Instinct Sharon Stone (bw)
Minsaara Kanavu Kajol (bw)
My girl friend (bw) - After finding one!

I am not a great Tag person…But still I will tag a few just to annoy them!!!

Arvind

Car, living room, earthquake and days after! WY-3 - Part 2

2005-08-26T16:23:00.001-05:00

Part 1 is here

But….I responded with the accelerator instead of the brakes!

In few seconds I was inside my living room. Yes! I looked back to see that the car was right inside my living room.

“What the f#$%? The walls used to be stronger in India!” said one of my multiple personalities!

How did I penetrate my own living room! How much do I have in my bank account!? What am I going to do… were the thoughts that were flowing thro’ my mind as I pulled my car out of my living room! Soppu was still undisturbed. I gave her that piercing look and said “We are divorced”. She smiled back and said, “We were never married” with just a few scratches on her forehead.

My friend, who was fighting for world peace upstairs, came down running. If a car can pierce through the wall, imagine the tremors in the room right above the living room! “Machan! Earthquake!” that’s what he was shouting! I gave him that look that gleamed with Pride and Honor! “It’s me” I said, without taking my eyes off the achievement!

The car that was assumed to be a useful piece for in-town activities, ended up to be used for in-house activities! In few minutes, I understood that I cannot do anything about it. So, I said to myself, “Let us enjoy this moment!” and hence the cameras popped up! Digital cameras were luxury then, so bear with the scanned versions!

Inside view

The cops and the landlord came to witness the miracle. They were amazed by the fact that the unthinkable happened! The cop was dumbfounded and this was the conversation.

Cop: “Hello Sir, are you okay?”
Me: “No, I won’t be until I know what the consequences are”
Cop: “Can I have your License Sir”
Me: “No Sir, I don’t have one!”
Cop: “Oh! Can I have your learners permit?”
Me: “No Sir, I don’t have one!”
Cop: “Oh! Do you know your License plate is expired 4 months ago?”
Me: “No Sir, I don’t”
Cop: “Do you have any kind of insurance to this car?”
Me: “No Sir, I don’t”
Cop: “Oh, Man you could end up in jail for this!”
Me: “No sir I don’t want to”
Cop: “Are you the one who just ran the car inside the living room?”
Me: “Yes, Sir I am”
Cop: “I know. I am just making sure that you know to say yes”

Well, after the initial formalities the cool cop took some pictures for some insurance issues. Luckily, I had a way through the mess without doing anything, which the cop handled. And the rest of the day was filled by seeing the mess from different angles!

Front view

Two days after this incident, I was at a coffee shop, waiting on the line to pay for the celebration. A bunch of undergraduates, were enjoying their ignorance, as they were talking about some funny incident that happened near their apartment complex.

This white guy who standing in front of me, with his excitement popping out as much as his eye balls, was narrating something to his friends, “There was dis guy wita huge car who jus slammed in to his own livin room man! That was so damn kool!! I have neva seen nythin like dat bfore!” without realizing that I was right behind him.

After listening to it, I said, “Buddy! It was me. Do you want to see some pics?”

Other view

The funny part of this story was that the whole similar kind of a mishap happened again, to the same wall. Six months later! The cops was rolling on the floor and laughing at us! This time it was my friend, the one who came down running did the honors with a different car. He was not able to match the standards that I had set, but he certainly did well and made it easy for us to get out of that apartment right after that without any problems with the lease!!

Earthquake friend and myself

May be we should have had a Stop sign right in front of our apartment. As for the house, its still struggling without a good door!

Here we go! One last good lookat it!...Man I did a good job!

The Final Look

Car, living room, earthquake and days after! WY-3 - Part 1

2005-08-25T18:50:00.001-05:00

I guess its time for a less serious post! This is one of my best kept secrets from home and I guess I don’t have to store it anymore! Here we go with one of my Indiana Jones stories!

Grad student life is different from what we think it is before we come here. I don’t know about others, but for me USofA was all about technology and comfort before I came here. I was not exactly looking for Skyscrapers around me but I did not expect a small township as well. Cookeville was one such town. But you can’t ask for a better place than this to do your Grad studies. Extremely affordable cost of living, above average nice people who are willing to understand different cultures amidst those usual morons and more than everything, it’s so damn small and connected. Especially, within the Indian community that is not more than 120-140 in number, which never let you walk alone in the few years of Cookeville life. Everyone is a celebrity and everyone is a kid to be taken care of! Even if you break the wind, people will get to know it in a jiffy! It’s that small!

It was more than 4 years ago, when one of my friends told me about our senior’s car which was lying in the parking lot, asking for help. This amazingly huge almost antique piece was in very good condition with respect to Cookeville standards and henceforth was assumed to be a useful piece for in-town activities. All we had to do was to change the tires and start using it, which took us less than 100 bucks! Hence in no time, we the 4 roomies were the owners of this late 1980’s Oldsmobile car. We did not pay a penny for it as the owner was happy to get rid of it in the first place. The car was functioning properly, we drove it in the parking lot and hence we were good to go!

Everything is set, except for one thing. None of us had the License to hit the roads. And hence we coasted towards the walls! The car was in the parking lot for a while with occasional visits from us to drive only on the space outside our apartment complex. We named her Sopanasundari (Dream girl) and not Swapnasundari (the correct way of telling it).

It was April 9th 2001, Monday

One of my roomies was pretending to work in those browsing centers that are diplomatically called as PC labs. The other one was sleeping his day off around noon. The last one was tired and almost dying with a viral fever or something like that. The only one who was home and conscious was yours truly. It was then, my desi-neighbor, Ramdas who was just 5 apartments away, came by for the usual onions and cooker issues.

Our apartments were duplex kinds, where we have the living room and the kitchen and in the ground floor and the two bedrooms in the 1st floor. So when I say he was 5 apartments away, it’s on the same row, which is less than 30 seconds walking time.

Few minutes after he conquered the onions and the cooker, I asked that question,

“Ramdas, do you need a ride back home!?”

I still wonder, why I asked that question. I was so damn bored, I wanted to do something, and hence driving, which was always an adventure with Soppu!

In minutes, I drove him home! I dropped him and returned to my apartment when all his roomies and his friends who had gathered there was looking and smiling at my sweetheart. Well, now that Soppu had her attention flowing, she was supposed to be parked!

Soppu! She looked amazing and exactly married! Huge and undisturbed.

Our parking lots are different. Every apartment was allotted two spaces facing the front entrance. The space between the car front and the wall will be approximately 3 ft. Soppu was parked exactly how it should'nt be..the amateur driver was still learning. But then the perfectionist inside me wanted to finish it in style. As a matter of fact, he did. I changed the gears from Drive to Reverse (automatic craps)…with my right forearm over the passenger seat…I was hoping to re-park her! I wasn’t expecting to disprove Newton’s Second law, but Soppu did not react! She wasn’t moving back…I used all my force to the accelerator, the car went in the wrong direction….front instead of the reverse direction.

Instincts popped up to say! “Hey! Baburao! Press the brakes”

“Yes Mr. Instinct” I said.

But.....

Part 2 is here!

Judgments

2005-08-24T15:50:00.001-05:00

Did I tell you that I recently tied the knot? Yes, I did. I was married to Laziness. She was pretty, cozy and extremely tempting, so my resistance was limited. I was with her for a week. She was extremely possessive and did not let me spend even the limited time that I do with my blogs and other activities. Apologies! Now that we are going through a rough patch and might even lead to divorce, I am here with you again to be strictly ideal.

Judgments!

How often do we judge someone or something and at the same time on a different plane hate being judged? Hypocrisy is one way of reasoning it or may be it’s just an imperfection that we fail to comprehend. I have seen and been in situations like that, where preconceived notions play a major role in the so called “virtual-image” (VI) development. This could also be understood as visual interpretation. What I call as VI here is the so-called image that we create about others and use them to judge, analyze and evaluate. This VI could be totally opposite to what the person is in reality, or could be mixed with some reality as well as some own notions.

Lot of my friends has told me that I was totally not the person what they initially thought I was going to be like. I don’t want to comment on the truth of that statement, but the real truth is that the assumption that is based on your initial image comprehension doesn’t necessarily have to be true. We all understand that the first impression is the best impression, but one should also comprehend that its time that is going to shape the truth rather than ones’ understanding of initial actions. The chances of one showing their whole self in the initial few understandings is very very less. So, if one concludes their characterization based on the initial few understandings, it certainly doesn’t fall under the sensible decisions category.

We always remember not to judge the book by its cover, but we fail to practice it. Regardless of what the person is, we tend to frame that VI and try to place all the actions based on that. In some cases, the other person gets to read the VI that you have on him/her and sometimes tries not to do anything that’s would corrupt it. For example, for some reason, if one of your friends believes that you are a religious person and appreciates it literally, and say you are not towards idol worship, the chances of you arguing your ideologies on this topic with him/her is not very high. I am not sure if this is a great example, but the point is that sometimes you don’t want to disturb that image that he/she holds on you. Especially, if it’s on the brighter side! And what we fail to comprehend sometimes is that there are false images on the other side as well that we are not exposed to. Say, a person holds a wrong perception about you, and the probability of this person telling this to you is not high. And if you realize, this image is based on what you are not really. So, by not being yourself you tend to project this false image that hurts your so called true self.

What we are actually practicing is denying the reality and understanding the VI. Sometimes we have fun with it, by seeing how away the VI is from the real us. But sometimes we don’t know what’s the VI is. In both cases, we don’t gain much by being someone else and hiding our true self. If being ourselves is going to hurt someone or something, we tend to rethink and change a little bit of us to fit in to the peace category. But if we keep doing it forever, we tend to lose our real identity and stay back on that veneer of someone else that people around us wants. On the other hand we also have to realize that we tend to do the same mistake! Making an assumption and analyzing someone without any true knowledge about them, is a blunder that one should not commit. I still remember one of my friends saying this Mother Theresa quote to me before I came here, “If you spend too much time judging people, you won’t have time to love them”. It’s hard to follow it completely, but if you hate being someone else, you better expect the same from everyone around you and accept them the way they are.

Bachelorhood

2005-08-16T19:42:00.001-05:00

Is life better when it’s singular? I really don’t know! I have never been plural before and I don’t have any complaints except for the fact that like all men I always tend to propagate towards plurality! Either trying to add something that’s fun or family!

It was one of those, designated-driver Friday evenings for me, when few of us were discussing crap over some Miller lites. As we were talking about life and time being monotonously up-yours’ing and the fact that we needed a break from celebrating stupidity, a camping plan was born! In less than few minutes, almost 2 45 am early morning we started driving towards Smoky Mountains in search of camping spots. With neither the motel reservations to cuddle with the few hours of necessary sleep nor the camping reservations, we were driving towards a so-called spontaneous adventure ahead of us! No worries! I am not going to describe the trip here which is of no importance to you! But to provide a closed form, let me take a sentence. We went there, found a motel after a couple of hrs, found a camping spot along with the rain gods, camped in the rain, talked non-sense around the camp fire with dripping water, went for a 60 minute trail along the stream next morning, checked out few artificial rides and were back in 37 hours! We did not do anything different, but yet it was fun spending few hours without thinking about anything else.

As soon as I got back to my abnormal usual, I was thinking if I would ever do this if I was married, this spontaneously at 0245 hrs? I don’t think I could. It’s a different story when you get married. Not that I know anything by experience but just a prediction. When we are married, the fun part will be doing this whole thing spontaneously and may be making it more on a romantic plane. But this is different! Comparing these two and commenting on what’s better is like talking about apples and air! No connection whatsoever!

The part I was thinking is, what is that we enjoy being single or romantically challenged, as the Orkut people call it. I might miss a few, disregard the ignorance and enlighten me!

As I thought about it a little loud, Mr.G suggested a few earlier overlapping thoughts on this. One of which I want to use. As such, let’s stick on to the two types of bachelors, primal (18-30 years old) and advanced (30+). Since most of the readership is from the primal bachelor clan, and I don’t have any clue on the advanced stage and I don’t have any intentions knowing about it either, so let’s see the life from the primal kind’s eyes. These gentlemen, fresh from schooling, are limited by the meager incomes that entry-level positions/ graduate-student salaries provide them. Thus, they sometimes tend to live in primal groups, pooling resources in order to maintain a level of adequate sustenance.

Thought pattern – Most of the time, the thought pattern is associated with the people around the visible and invisible friends. Family members do pop-up now and then depending upon how far you stay away from them. Anyways, the life steps are taken with total personal control and none blocking it. It wouldn’t be the case if one is truly married. Even if you are committed, it wouldn’t be the case. Every step you take in almost everything you do will be overtaken by the thoughts on your own family or other half. As such, this covers the whole thing that I want to say, nevertheless it’s better to describe.

Listening – We listen to ourselves and none else. Organized or disorganized. Clean or dirty. Whatever it is, we do it only when we feel like doing it. Regardless of the economic conditions/necessity, it’s the right of the primal bachelor to get what he wants when he wants! According to us, a person who differentiates his luxuries and necessities is someone who doesn’t know that we are ear plugged to those conversations. Things don’t work that way, when you are married.

Kitchen culture - The cooking place is never to stay for more than the cooking time. Daily cleanliness is not what we expect to extract out of the kitchen as long as it can feed us the right way, with reasonable taste and devoid of bugs. The kitchen keeps changing as we approach marriage. Initially, it would be in the impossible-to-clean category for quite a long time, and then it might turn out to the approachable category, then once a month cleaning stage and then once a week. After that you would be married!

Flirtations – You flirt with almost every member of the opposite sex even with a reasonably attractive class, and above all, you accept it! Be it a girl in a grocery store or your common friend whom we just got to know – we flirt and we accept it! If you are married, in most of the cases, you don’t like the consequences of accepting it. Exceptions are not examples!

There are whole lot of other areas we can address, bathroom manners, bedroom ideas, learning to spend, proactive living etc. All these, leads to one thing that bachelorhood is all about freedom and whereas marriage is something which constraints this freedom with some things that we would be convinced to reinvent us with.

Being a bachelor is more different than how an ordinary person, who has no clue about it, personify. “A man is a man until he marries, then he becomes a husband!” is a quote from If a Man Answers that I partially agree with. Because most of us are much different before we get married and we tend to change as we start growing up with someone else after we marry them. Right now all we can claim is that the marriage with the bachelorhood is as amazing as the real one in days to come. So letting it pass as we breathe the days out of it and reasoning it with responsible living is something on the grounds of future regrets!

Jai Hind!

2005-08-12T16:56:00.001-05:00

I had this for the August 15th! But could'nt wait.

Jai Hind!

Wikipedia lists Jai Hind as follows.

Jai Hind is a salutation most commonly used in India in speeches and communications pertaining to or referring to patriotism towards India. It literally translates to Victory to India.

I can never say India is perfect but I am sure that we are so damn close to it. When I say Jai Hind it’s the shear pride that takes over than the prevailing thoughts of imperfections that I want to set straight.

May be it’s a mistake and that’s what is keeping us away from the ideal state.May be Mohan Bhargava is right that we seek asylums in the form of culture and heritage and forget to realize that we are far away from being the best. May be we have loads of work to be done to reach there and prove the world that we are incomparable in all forms.

Where? How? When? is for the experts/leaders questions to answer! To remember our right to choose them with hearts and brains and stay responsible as we breathe is how we reciprocate to our country! If everyone of us assume atleast 10 % of the responsibility that you expect from your leader, may be we will make this world realize the power of true India. Though I have responsibilities ahead, right now I take a moment with pride and honor to say that we are strong and we are the Indians!

With all heart!

Jai Hind - From Miles away!

ps - found Nehru's Aug 15th speech here from one of those comments ...

Would you come back!?

2005-08-10T14:18:00.001-05:00

Almost everyone I met back home asked this question! In different forms, yes! They wanted answers that could solidify the perception that they had on the US of A. Almost everyone assume that they are safe and secure in the States. There is (atleast then there was) a preconceived notion that US is all about comfort, easy living, less-trouble etc. Especially the groom-hunters/bride-busters! Security is what they are looking for. Well, the answer is in the grey area. Lies well with in the bounds of the not-exactly type. There are a whole lot of positives and negatives, which is another post by itself and hence we shall talk about that later.

On the other hand, conservative amrus here would ask, so what’s your plan? Work here for a while? Are you thinking of staying back till you get your PR/citizenship or are u going even before that? Are you planning to settle here? Most of them are happy that international people are here for studies, but when a conservative person gets to know his/her chances are being hampered because of these bright less-meat brains, he/she turns out to be ordinary. In a way it’s true, we all know that employers want people with better efficiency and more brains. If that happens at less cost, why would they wait? Alright, let me not digress.

In essence the question is whether one would or could get back from here? The most important thing that people fail to realize is that, answering this question and taking a decision to get back is not easy. I certainly respect those who make these decisions. I have seen people who assumed that they knew what wanted to do; again, Steven Segal was right about mothering all F-ups. Then as time progresses, magically, what they wanted to do, change and they do something they claimed that they never would. Stay here forever without any intentions of returning. Well, the claims are amazingly very reasonable and in most of the cases you can easily relate yourself and understand the difficulties in those actions. So is this almost a point of no return? I hope not. In any case, coming back to the original question, is it possible to go back home for good? Well, I don’t want to dodge this bullet with “it all depends on the individual” or “it’s a matter of one’s priorities” kind of answers. Let’s face the truth and see if we can find an answer.

If we think on the questions of technological advances and stuff, take yourself a break! India is well within the same frame as the place that you think is highly advanced. Outsourcing has been from there in almost every case. Well, errr.... I had to write this just to include this cool cartoon.

Outsourcing (source: funonthenet yahoo group)

In all areas we are developing, here I go! Stole a post from Viji's blog which I think reflects the idea! From the speech by Thomas Friedman of The New York Times,

“When we were young kids growing up in America, we were told to eat ourvegetables at dinner and not leave them. Mothers said, 'think of thestarving children in India and finish the dinner.' And now I tell mychildren: 'Finish your maths homework. Think of the children in Indiawho would make you starve, if you don't’.”

So when we get back, we are certainly going to a better place, no questions about that.

When we talk about getting back home, the first thing that pops up is the usual question. Why do you want to go? If your answer is I want to serve my country. It’s respected and appreciated could be even recommended for Ms/Mr. World contest, but I want to be more pragmatic. If you intend to serve your nation, there are gazillion ways to do it regardless of where you are what you do.

So when you ask that question to yourself, why do you want to go back (or come back)? The answer is directed to another question, what is the change that you are looking for? Even about the normal occasional trips back home is associated with a change, say may be you are working you posterior off and want to take a break and be your disorganized self, or may be you need to witness someone else’s change, say a marriage or anything for that matter.

Most of the changes, places or people, happens or enforced to realize the positivities. I came from India, in an idea of pursuing graduate studies that would eventually lead me to temporary but necessary pleasure called money. Progressively, I learned lot more than what I thought I would, but still have loads to earn though! In a way, at that stage it’s a positive progression. One would not change from one place to another to realize negativity. Have you ever heard of a person who wanted to change what they are doing because they want to do badly? Never would that happen in anyone’s lifetime. If it does there is no life in the first place. Though some changes may appear to be completely stupid, with no visible positivities, the inner perceptions would definitely have some reason that we fail to personify. So, in words we can state the law of changes as “every change in the universe is associated with a positive progression”

Now that we know that the changes are associated with positive progression, the decisions should be based on what kind of change you are looking for. The most beautiful part about the changes that we are looking for is that, the changes that we want, keeps changing. As a confused school kid, I needed those words which said the things that I wanted to listen and hence for no specific reason other than the typical parental pressures I stepped in to something that I did not have any idea about, professional degree, and hence a positive progression. As a jobless undergraduate I thought US is all about opportunities and easy way through the art of money making and henceforth attracted towards the Masters program for the inevitable change. There are thousands of such examples! So as we progress, we divide the life in to several bits and pieces where the transitions are associated with a positive progression. Say, stages like attention, sports, girls, money, career, love, affection, happiness, peace etc., that are typical in any man’s life. When we step in each stage we look for some changes, when we truly know that this is the change we are looking for, I am sure we will be able to make the right decision. It all boils down, what are we looking for? And when are we doing it? May be it’s your kid’s educational development, may be it’s your parents health, may be it’s your own career move, may be it’s your other half’s decisional pressures, may be its anything. When your heart and mind says that this is the change that you are looking for and this is definitely going to create some positivity, you would get back home. No matter what you claim to be the best, that’s home and this is just a place you live.

Chennai Traffic

2005-08-07T10:52:00.001-05:00

Chennai Traffic!

To mitigate the traffic congestion in the City, a sum of Rs. 22.60 Crore will be spent for construction of bridges and subways during 2005-2006. It is proposed to construct 5 Railway over bridges / Railway under- bridges during the year 2005-2006 and to make Chennai City level crossing free.

This is from one of those Chennai corporations’s policy list

Traffic congestion! Every one of us has been a part of it. Several times we could have even been the originators.

Don’t worry there is neither a preaching session nor a story ahead of you.

Recently, I was caught on an interstate hold-up here in I-65 on my way down from Indianapolis. Most of the time, here in the interstate the traffic never stops, if it does, it stays for not more than few minutes. This temporary traffic congestion was due to some merging lanes and road works that broiled my 20 minutes. My furiously impatient side was irritated at the lack of control I had over the situation, while the sometimes-sensible side was adulating my evaluations on the tolerance limits. I was telling myself why in the world am I getting irritated? I can’t do anything, stay right there and wait for the traffic to move. On the other side, I was thinking if my tolerance limit was reduced by a significant margin, when compared to where it was in Chennai. Then I realized that, in Chennai, I have never waited for the traffic to let its way, unless for some unpenetratable signals or the unavoidable traffic affairs. So the fact that I am waiting illustrated the increase in threshold from where it was! Why didn’t I do this there?

It was 4 years ago, when I visited Chennai, I asked my cab driver if he could reach the destination a little faster. Witnessing his right-hand-side driving skills was the last thing I had in my mind. For few minutes, I was not even looking at the roads. The cool driver responded with a smile and asked "why I was scared even after getting used to RHS driving in the USofA?" I was not in a frame of mind to answer the question, when almost 25% of the traffic was outside the driving boundaries! I know almost all of the time I used to drive, I was a part of that 25% educated illiterates.

For the past 3 years, I have never violated the lane rule in here!

I have been married to Chennai-driving for atleast 12 years now. Even today, if I get back, I cannot even think of a life without a two-wheeler. But, the fact is I still don’t have a two wheeler driving license.

It took me a 2+ years and a brick-wall, which I ran thro, to get my license here. I postponed it purposefully, but never in those 2 and odd years had I had the intentions to even place my little one on the driver seat. Not due to the inclination factors, but the fact that I don’t have license just stopped me from touching the wheel. May be its costly affair! Neverthless, it worked. I did not touch!

Now, the question is why was I not the same there? I have never seen/followed lane driving in Chennai. I have never seen/used indicators for lane changes in Chennai. May be it’s because the people around who never followed it, motivating me to be the part of the ugly mess. But if you see, to someone else you are one of the people around, and if we follow a rule, may be it will motivate another to do so and henceforth we might create something out of just being ourselves. Even here I break the rules sometimes, have had a couple of speeding tickets. But the frequency is comparitvely low, may be its the traffic patrol or my delta age factor.

Claim whatever you want! I can see people cribbing against all those public transportation people, enormous increase in spending power and access to vehicles, which was once a luxury, very little improvement on the road patterns/traffic rules etc. I am sure that this cribbing world will definitely approve that half of the traffic congestion problem would be resolved if everyone follows the city rules! It takes just the brains to understand but it’s the guts that will make you do it.

It is certainly not easy to be the odd person and follow the rules! May be its home and we tend to be ourselves (!) there. But when I hear numbers like 22.60 Crore that is being spent on solving traffic congestions, which would be easily done if everyone follows the rule; I hate to say I broke the law and was not a part of the few who followed it.

Arranged Marriages!

2005-08-01T18:33:00.002-05:00

“It’s amazing! I still can’t believe that it’s successful there. May be it’s a cultural difference. But, how can someone marry a complete stranger? I am just baffled! Well, explain...”

This is generally how a conversation goes right after the few-minute silences between an American and an Indian in here. Most of the time, they are astonished, amazed, awed….after witnessing and understanding its success or the ‘sucks-us’ rate!

“So your brother as well as your sister got married this way! Do you have someone waiting on you there to go and tie a knot?” is the general question I try to dodge diplomatically, else would lead to ‘true love’ and eventually to the ‘lord’ discussions, which I hate from the bottom of my pants!

Anyways, coming to think of it, it’s true that my brother as well as my sister are married to almost complete strangers then, and now celebrating life of reasoning and adaptation as happy as anyone! How in the world does it work?

What an arranged marriage is? It is something, which is fixed by someone other than the couple themselves, usually the parents. The cruelest are the ones which are forced by them sans the couple's interest/concern. While, the liberal ones, which is the way it is nowadays, start with just an introduction of the couple through their parents and the rest is up to the couple. Anyways, I think that it’s not a good idea to get in to the development or the definitions of the formal procedures that seems to be ever changing. There are various different kinds of arranged marriages. However, it’s too broad a topic to delve in to especially after realizing the truth on the level of cultural knowledge that I posses on the places like Japan, Bahrain etc, that follows it. Nevertheless, from an Indian perspective, I think I can drop my penny based on the reason that I have been exposed to it for the major part of my life education.

I had this same thought, but it was one of my friends who laid it in better words, before I could. It all boils down to behavioral pattern.

You belong to a certain religion and to a certain caste and in some cases, to a particular sub-caste just as your parents do. Interestingly, there are many other people with the exact same background. So, by choosing someone from that pool you have already achieved compatibility on an important level. In addition, if the two of you have a similar level of education and financial status, and have compatible interests also, then you are a long way into finding the ideal partner.

I think this is amazingly true. Well, let’s see from a behavioral perspective. It is hard for the other half to understand the behavioral pattern of families and relatives if he/she is not exposed to it in the first place. Right off the bat, the question pops up…Marriage is between two people… isn’t it? Well, excellent question! Accept it or not, regardless of what culture you are from, the truth is that Marriage is just not between two souls but between two families. So it is highly essential to understand and articulate both sides’ behavioral pattern to extract harmony. By marrying someone from a similar cultural background, any possibility of difference of opinions with respect to behavioral patterns is denied and henceforth happiness and peace prevails with respect to that.

On the other hand, the most important part that people think it fails to address the ‘true-love’ story. I am not taking sides here. I don’t want to dive in to this ocean where I would end up talking more on the definition of love, rather than positives/negatives of arranged marriage.

According to people who are successfully married through this arranged marriage system, Love is something that they extract by understanding and appreciating marriage.

“Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry” - Tom Mullen.

The arranged marriages of these days hope and fight to make the second part of the quote true and in most of the cases, it works. It also assumes that the first part of the quote can be achieved by trust and faith.

Okay, from a common-man perspective! If I assume, true love is all about extracting from each other! What if there is no resonance?

The possibility of having people from the same cultural pattern with completely different perceptions is not low. I still remember one of my friends telling me about her husband hopping in from a totally different planet with no common thoughts and completely blank when it comes to areas of her expertise, even in common life situations. Hence the complaints on this being a high-risk system, is not a surprise. This is what the parents or the people who arrange these have in mind when they start looking for grooms or brides. The concept of behavioral patterns comes within the framework of choosing someone from the similar cultural background. The resonance and thought pattern comes from the scrutinies that are involved with the education, family background etc. So, when the so-called formal introduction of families/couple happens, be in any form of setting, with a snack with families around or as a date, each other’s thought patterns are almost predicted well by the couple and henceforth are looking forward to surprise each other by revealing something that would generally involve long term perspectives on the future or haunting past if any. In both cases, they are educating each other in what happened and what they expect. If any of it disturbs anyone of them, the process is thought over time and so are the chances of an amalgamation and hence the answers follows based on the amount of compromises involved. So once the preliminary process is over, they step in to the institution called Marriage assuming they will stand by as well as surprise each other as they progress and understand life. If you think, isn’t this the same way you step in the case of a love marriage, except for the surprising part.

I have a whole bunch of friends who proclaim that they hate this system called arranged marriage. Most of them say, that no matter how long it might take, they would find the one as long as he/she can satisfy the set of rules they have. If you examine them, you would definitely find one addressing the behavioral pattern. I will fall in love, but I will make sure that she is Tamil Iyer from a different gothram…I have heard these as well. I truly don’t have the right to criticize individual thought processes, but I certainly have the right to say that I don’t want to think like that. Again, I am not taking sides here. I can certainly understand people, who say, what if I can find true love with all the constraints I have..? It is highly possible and its happening, but to assume that it is impossible to derive true love by reasoning and adaptation is something that I hate to perceive. Yet, if happiness is what everyone seeks, love or arranged, Marriage will deliver if you believe in it. And by the way, the person who thought her husband was from a different planet is living happily now, with the same person.

Network pressure

2005-07-27T15:47:00.001-05:00

This is not a Tamil post. So non-Tamil folks can definitely dive in!

I love you!
Appadina enna mean panre?
Adellam enaku theriaadhu…aana I love you!

For the 22nd time I was absorbed by the simplicity and beauty of Manirathnam’s Alaipayude…. When suddenly…. Danny Elfman disturbed my concentration with his Mission impossible theme! Oops my cell phone was screaming. Should have had it in silent mode!

They always find the perfect time to call me, don’t they? It was my friend from the other room under the same roof! “Barath b@##@#! Reduce the god damn volume. I’m trying to read Indiaglitz!”…I thought I never had roomies!

Screen rolls back with background music: 1 year ago is typed on the screen letter by letter.

The same person was screaming at me, “Where the hell were you…! I was trying to reach you from the morning to tell something…get yourself a cell phone man! Anyways Raji is engaged!”

“Who is Raji?” I did not have a clue.

“Grrrr… I thought you knew her…ot@#... totally forgot. Anyways what were you doing?”

“I was watching Alaipayude” undisturbed!

Screen comes towards you with background music: This time Present day is typed on screen letter by letter.

I answered him with one of my infamous fingers!

WTH! Technology sucks! It was great then, when none had cell phones. It took me four and odd years to succumb to those network pressures that were increasing along the life progression! And now this is associated with the horrendous disadvantages such as people’s expectations to call-returns, their ability to track you down, development of hatred for answering calls in public etc. Gone are those days, when am not the one to check if it is my cell phone when someone else’s is ringing in a public place. Gone are those days, when I prefer to stay alone, I felt alone. I am not complaining. I love the advantages, but sometimes the disadvantages annoy me! And then the reasoning side puts the awaken dude inside me to sleep!

Cell phones are already on their way to be used as credit cards (Nytimes article needs subscription) , and now progressing towards digital wallets and none know what more to come!?

Well, what do I hate? Loud ring tones that have a wonderful way of embarrassing its owner in public and make a whole bunch look if it’s their fone. Patriots who answer even credit card calls during a personal conversation. Surfacial Satans who calls you from the visual level to check if they are seeing the one they think they are seeing. Supporters of the amazing fone-family development, where they do everything, except you know what! For some, it would be in their top 5 best birth control methods! And I haven’t even talked about its ability to be one of the top reasons for road accidents. The list goes on!

Public hatred

I do use it to call people and appreciate/annoy them. But I definitely would prefer to stay away from “let’s share some useless info” clan. Well, in a device, if you don’t have the control to stop doing something that you hate, you might as well disown it.

So, what do I love? The control that we have in the form of a digital command to avoid all the above. Commands like ignore, silent mode, power off etc. The way we can choose ourselves to be connected to people no matter where a situation pushes us to. For its ability to cause an accident as well as save you from dying. Well, you are welcome to add to this!

Really, What do we used to do?

Anyways, Cell phones are becoming like Gods. Some love it. Some hate it. Some save it. Some smash it. But only a few avoid it. Well, I am sorry to say that I am not one of the few. But at the same time, I am not sad to be part of the lot which has it! Sure it does feel nice to see that we are a part of the group that knows to use it sensibly!!

Positive Energy!

2005-07-26T17:27:00.001-05:00

Energy can neither be created nor be destroyed but can be transformed from one kind to another, sounds familiar? If it does, then your attention was partially or completely slaved for a while in your early physics/thermodynamics development. Anyways, no worries! This is definitely not a Me Myself and Thermodynamics post, so you can proceed further! The law holds good or even better for invisible non-physical/thermodynamic energies as well. In the case of positive energies that we carry, it remains to be contagious and as a matter of fact increases with contribution! Well….What I’m trying to say here is Positive attitude pays!

This is a not a self-help post and I’m no one to preach! All am doing here is thinking loud and expressing my perceptions on positivities.

My best friend always plans and opts to be in constant vicinity of what he calls the positive energy circle! Couldn’t complain much on him being closer to the nucleus in the people-orbit (You will have to read this understand what I mean here) since it indirectly compliments me! Positive attitude and positive people provides him the excitement and energy that he wants to extract and utilize at no body’s expense. Well the fact that positive energy increases with contributions explains it.

Well, on the other hand, one of my brother’s multiple personalities will take the crap out of me if my first answer to any of his questions is a “NO”. It’s always the case! According to him, a No or a Negative response is associated with a quitting or a failing attitude. If I can’t find his wallet I am not supposed to say “its not there”, instead I would have to say “it might be here somewhere else”. It has been working with him and I don’t see a change coming in the near future! Well, for some it is the case. People tend to fear the negative energy more than they love positive energy.

Positive energy is important. It’s been the case from our ancient ages. If you think, from the Hindu perspective that is precisely the reason why the so called Man of the house has to witness the Woman of the house right before he leaves home for work, in some sense she blankets her positive energy for him to carry for the rest of the day! Let me not get religious here. In any case, positive energies are a part of us without our knowledge from the early days. How important is it to stay positive and share that energy?

…….The medical field is now beginning to acknowledge that the attitude of the patient has a very large impact on how fast that patient heals or even on whether he/she survives a certain procedure. As another example, how many of us know someone who, when entering a room, seems to "light up" the room? Or vice versa, someone who has the ability to throw a damper on a festive atmosphere, just by their appearance in the room? These are all examples of how positive and negative energy extends far past our use of it…….

Well, a hypothetical situation. A wins something, B loses something. A wants to share this feeling with B. Comes to meet B to witness him/her cribbing the hell of out him/herself even before A accumulating the positive energy! Options that A has

1.A leaves without telling about the victory
2.A shoulders B and make him/her feel comfortable
3.Completes 2 and shares his/her happiness on the victory that makes B feel better

There are definitely more than three options for this particular scenario, but at this point lets stick on to this!

A little bit of math here,

Assumptions:

A and B are concerned with two different scenarios
Other’s victory is good news for both and directly results in increase in energy
The total energy = Energy available for transfer! Not necessarily the sum of the individual energies!

1st option: Total energy = A(positive) + B(negative): Results in decrease in energy!
2nd option: Total energy= A(positive) + B(zero): Results in no change
3rd option: Total energy= A(positive) + B(positive): Results in increase in energy

Do you think the math is right here? It appears so! But actually I have neglected the fact the A loses energy because of B’s loss. Well, from the above description, it is wonderfully framed that the 3rd option is the best and henceforth supporting the positive aspects of positive energy sharing syndrome! This doesn’t necessarily mean that I corroborate the attitude of amplifying self, in sorry state of affairs!

I could have done this with less math or complications. Nevertheless if you are reading this, you got past the worst part of the post!

One cannot expect the life to unfold the way they want it to be, but can always shape the attitude to be positive no matter what life offers us to learn. All the more, the crux of my problems post! Well, the results that we achieve when we carry this aura of positive energy along with us are amazing and most of the time are directly visible. Well, it also comes with its own disadvantages. It is highly necessary to choose the way you transfer this positive energy avoiding any possible misinterpretations such as self-amplification! It is also important to know and understand the disadvantages of negative energy and the ways to convert them to positive forms by reasoning.

Well, I read the post after I wrote it, and I feel it flirts well within the definitions and differences of positive energy and positive attitude. As I understand that the latter is a subset of the former and could also directly result in the increase of total energy, I safely proclaim that it isn’t a sin to flirt...between the two!

What if? - I

2005-07-23T00:19:00.001-05:00

I saw Minority Report the other day. Still struggling to understand why was I postponing this. Well, creativity was at its best. The concept of Precrime was an almost impossible visualization that was excellently written as a short story by Philip K. Dick and incredibly directed by Spielberg. It got me thinking, how people could develop something like that? Well, may be they keep asking a lot of questions to themselves and end up improvising the answers! And most of the questions could definetly be of “What if?” types. ....And henceforth a new series! I’m calling it as the "What if?" series. This series will be full of unrealistic circumstances, relatively, and would progress towards delivering “what if this was like that?” answers and it’s following sequential progressions. Well, I hope this doesn’t turn out to be as serious as the kinds that Outlookindia comes up with. On the other hand I wud also have some serious kinds now and then!

Normally, I would not post something like this, but WTH sometimes we have to be different.

So, what if one of the most appreciated comforts of the MAN kind is no longer available for men. How would that be? I started this as a story but then realised it would be too long a read, hence .... What would be the to-do list for men if them getting pregnant is a normal phenomenon?

Month1:Mark the dates – sessions (we might call it like that) skipped once!
Month2:Approximately, same time of the month mark again – sessions skipped twice! Oh god this might be it!
Month3:Pregnancy tests - human chorionic gonadotropin or pregnancy hormone detection! If you get the device turned black, you are on it. If it stays white you are not! No pink or blue or any other colors involved!
Month4:Call people back home to convey the information if you stay overseas. If you don’t stay overseas, they will get to know when they get to know
Month5:Be prepared. You can’t help/irritate your wife anymore, especially in lifting the lightest possible things. Don’t climb stairs and don’t use elevators. Shift your house to the ground floor. If the infant kicks a lot from inside, kick back!
Month6:Start thinking of applying paternity leave from the 7th month. Stop watching movies. You will have nothing to do in few weeks, so save them! Throw all your shirts and trousers, you can’t use them anymore for the rest of your life.
Month 7:Pester the in-laws. Bring your wife’s parents if you stay overseas. If you don’t live overseas, fix someone to help and don’t inform your wife’s parents that you are pregnant. Postpone applying paternity leave for the 8th month.
Month 8:Now you can’t cook. So forget eating good food! Forget to apply paternity leave. Stop playing real street Cricket! Stick on to your X-box
Month 9:Stop kicking back the infant who is kicking from inside. Now he/she is shrewd enough to differentiate between the father’s and mother’s kick. Apply paternity leave!
Month 10:Sit back and relax! Don’t think about the complications of the process. There is no concept of normal delivery in a male pregnancy! Remember, the world will be revolving around someone else for the rest of your life!

Apparently there is a lot of research going on male pregnancy! Well, on the other hand Mr.G gave birth to these from the anti-men communities!

There'd be a cure for stretch marks
Natural childbirth would become obsolete
Morning sickness would rank as the nation's number one health problem
All methods of birth control would be improved to 100% effectiveness
Children would be kept in the hospital until they were toilet trained
Men would be eager to talk about commitment
They wouldn't think twins were quite so cute
Fathers would demand that their sons be home from dates by 10 pm
Men could use their briefcases as diaper bags
They'd have to stop saying, "I'm afraid I'll drop him."
Paternity suits would be a line of clothes
They'd stay in bed for the entire nine months (10 in our case)
Menus at most restaurants would list ice cream and pickles as an entree'

The answers for the previous post are here in the comments section!

Movie Quotes - Guess 'em

2005-07-20T13:15:00.001-05:00

I love Time. It’s never biased, waits for none and never quits. Past week has been quite lazy and busy. So, apologies for staying low and breathing less on the blogosphere. It calls for a less serious post.

This is my second one on the movie quotes. The first one drew some audience and was 7 months ago. It was unlike Time, predominantly biased on language and the concept. I have tried to stay away from such in this post. Tamil movie quotes (in Tanglish) are also included this time. So, here you go, guess these movie quotes. In your comments list them as E1 or E2 for the English ones and T1 or T2 for the Tamil ones.

Donot google it or see the comments section before guessing. You might spoil the fun of it!

Disclaimer: On the Tamil quotes, Mr. & Mrs. Google were not able to find any database dedicated to the South Indian cinema quotes and henceforth I trusted my memory. So if my line and length are not the way it’s supposed to be, you are welcome to suggest some corrections.

English

...the things that people in love do to each other, they remember. And if they stay together, it's not because they forget. It's because they forgive.
.....you've never looked at a woman and been truly vulnerable. Known that someone could kill you with a look. That someone could rescue you from grief. That God had put an angel on Earth just for you. And you wouldn't know how it felt to be her angel.
. . . you could call it a "communal farm," I suppose. But we've all come to the same conclusion - our Gita, the Muslim's Koran or your Bible - it's always the simple things that catch your breath - "Love thy neighbor as thyself" - not always practiced - but it's something we Hindus could learn a lot from.
Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating
My father once said to me that you don't choose the things you believe in, they choose you.
I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst.
People want leadership. And in the absence of genuine leadership, they will listen to anyone who steps up to the microphone. They want leadership, Mr. President. They're so thirsty for it, they'll crawl through the desert toward a mirage, and when they discover there's no water, they'll drink the sand.

Tamil ( in Tanglish)

Paathu welai sei. Paatha udnai welai seiyaade
Podhuva ambalinga modalla thappa mudivu edupaanga, aana anda anubavathla adhuku appram sariya mudivu edupaanga. Aaana pombalinga appadi illainga, modaliye sariyana mudivu than edupaaanga aana appram adhu sariya thaan iurkumnnu nenachi thappu thappa mudivu edupaanga
Ganesan! Naan unga ponna kalyanam panika aasai padren. Amudhava thatha eduka virupa padren. Modaluku unga sammadham wenum mathaddhuku unga kei ezhuthu.
Naan RRRRomba artist sir...!
Namaku oruthara pidhiruchi naa, avanga enna senjaalum pidika arabichuidum. Ade maadri namaku oruthara pidikama poiduchi na, avanga evlo naladhu senjaalum adhu pidikaaadhu
Adutha vela sothuku vazhi illama irundhirukaya? vaangina kadana thirumbi kuduka mudiyaama ungamma serupadi vaangaradha paathirukaya? padikavendiya vayasula naadagathula vesham potirukaya? unnakenna appa headmaster govt sambalam, tamil kathukuduthutaaru pesara
…Okay!...Othukaren… Unna modal thadava pathadhulende enaku pidichindhudhu..naan kaamchikala. Inime mariachi projanam illa. Kalayanam panikalam!! Inilendhu correcta oru maaasathula kalyanam panikalam.

The Motorcycle Diaries - WY 2 - Part 2

2005-07-15T16:36:00.001-05:00

Part 1 is here

Now that the not-so-typical-Hindi-movie-triangle is all set with Aravindan, Monal and my self as the vertices, we were looking forward to understand who she was attracted to! Aravindan, a true believer of fate and destiny presumed that his single life is all set to crash, with a single glimpse from her. On the other hand a voice popped on me saying “we had a whole lot running ahead of us”!

We planned to leave Gangothri before they start, just to negate the skeptical father-eyes! Waiting on the end of the road, on their van to start, the butterflies started to resurface!!

1920 hrs - A block away from Gangothri!

“Pathetic! Hopeless…and what else in the word that can describe my state now. I never thought I would wait for someone… like this on the road!” I was pissed on the way I was treating life!

“Machi! lets wait and see! May be there is more in store!”, Aravindan was defining perseverance

As the van passed us, we were back, tailgating, exactly at the blind spot staying away from her father’s vision! The van took us all the way to a Lloyd’s road apartment. She signaled us to wait there...Now that we were outside her apartment, we expected her to return with a usual walk or terrace-outing excuse, for exchanging numbers or at least for a coffee. After 20 minutes of nail biting walks across the apartment, we gave up!

There were no signs of her coming back! We decided to return another day and continue the adventure.

1955 hrs – My place, Mylapore!

We did not converse for the next 15 minutes! By then, silence was the best answer for all the questions that were popping up defying gravity!

With just a nod, I looked at him and asked if he is up for it!

He started my Lakshmi and told me to drive it!

2030 hrs – Outside her apartment!

I wanted to earn something for the hours spent on stupidity. The gut master woke up again! I went to the watchman and as usual started to talk crap in the intention of getting her apartment number! While Aravindan was waiting on the other side of the road expecting her to peep out and regulate steam!

B: Watchman, I forgot monals apartment number, do you know what it is?
W: Monal? No. There is no one called Monal here!
B: No Watchman, I remember coming here last time! Her father has a white Maruthi van, TMP 8073. The car was right beside the watchman’s living roof, so I just looked at the number and told him.
W: No. None in this apartment has a Maruthi van. Even this one is some guest’s vehicle.

It stuck me! I realized that she did not signal us to tell about her apartment. Instead she wanted us to wait for her to comeback! As for Aravindan, it took much lesser time, than what he spent on Boyles Law, to understand the situation!

There we were, at the end of the road waiting for her van to pass on!

2130 hrs – The bunk shop

As the Rasnas started to quench our ordinary thirst, we saw the van passing us! In few minutes, we saw Monal looking for us! The amount of love or lust or whatever she had on her eyes as she was looking for us is unquantifiable.

Looking at this, I told Aravindan “Man! If we can produce such amount of curiosity and the byproducts without a single word! How would it be if we were to talk to her?”

He looked at me and said! “Machi, Monal is looking for both of us so desperately, just because we did not utter a single word. The moment you or I deliver a word, she would be running across the city...so shut your *&*%$*&…and make sure she sees us!”

We came out the blind spot and provided the much awaited darshan for our beloved girl! It was bliss to see the achievement on her face. It sure does feel good when you are a part of any girl’s happiness. Be it a girl on road or the girl of your dreams/reality. It makes a world of difference to understand and share the feeling of completeness!

While my mind was in Rome, dancing with Monal along with Aravindan’s lighting effects, the possessive Lakshmi almost ran in to my could-have-been father-in-law’s van. My reflexes helped in swaying away from an almost accident but did nothing in dodging the father’s eye. The moment he saw me falling apart, he placed me well from Gangothri. By then all the previous scenes came back to him like the M.Night Shyamalan’s footage, helping him to correlate and understand that am the Ghost from the beginning!

2145 hrs – Finale

Without realizing the seriousness of the father-eye, we were following the van through the roads of Missapettai market, in the vicinity of my dear old Gill Adarsh, all the while signaling Monal to come out once she gets in to our future property, her home!

The van stopped in a Triplicane street. I guess it’s near Big Street or Sidoge lane! If am not wrong, it was a Sunday night, and hence the street was almost empty…! As the van stopped in front of us, atleast 100 feet, we drove slowly and to make that eye contact. The moment she saw us, she ran all the way to the top floor and signaled something from the window.

By then we did not have time to wait and understand what was going on! So we passed her house took a left and parked Lakshmi.

B: Aravinda, lets park the vehicle here and walk there!
A: Machi are u sure there is not going to be any problems!?

My search for the answers resulted in silence, as we decided to give a couple of mins before we start walking towards her house. The early hide-and-seek games helped us! Peeping from behind the walls, I made sure that her father was not in the vicinity of our adventure!

We both walked all the way on the other side of the road. After a couple of to and fro walks, we both stopped right in front of her house…on the pavement on the opposite side. Trying to look for the answers for the past 3 and odd hours spent. Faint lights, Empty Street, Triplicane smell…I was hoping it to be short! I had no clue of what was I going to do if she was out then.

She was right there! Smiled at us and said something from the top floor window! May be the pressure difference that was caused by our parallel duets in Ooty hill station, we were not able to hear a single word!! The lights were not helping us either. Without our knowledge we were in the middle of the road, trying to get near her so that we can hear or see what she was trying to say!

As we stepped in closer, we heard her whispering “Papa…Neeche!” or something like that! For a moment, I thought, Mother you were right, I should have learnt Hindi.

I smiled at her and said, “No... Hindi” Made sure she understood it completely by enacting it!

She signaled something and pointed down.

As my pupils went down! I saw her father…who was in a hurry trying to unlock the door! For a fraction of a second, I looked at Aravindan. We both knew that it was not the right place to think about the next plan of action. We both started to sprint! As I was running, I realized Aravindan was not with me, I looked back. He was running in the opposite direction!

I was running towards my Lakshmi, while he was running towards nowhere, hoping for me to join him at some point of his life! Lucky-me, the father was chasing Aravindan!...I came running to my Scooty as I witnessed her, saying “that’s the difference between true love and lust! Look at me I am waiting on you...I set you free, you are now back to me to save yourself”

I started my Lakshmi and drove all the way, taking the back roads looking for Aravindan. With some luck he was running towards the direction I was trying to get to! The old father was quite athletic as he was still running behind Aravindan few feet away from catching him! The few seconds we wasted on spacing our posteriors on the life savior…got him closer by few inches. By the time I was accelerating Lakshmi, he had his fingers on Aravindan’s shirt….Lakshmi did quite well on anticipating it and acted pretty strong to escape from the grab.

The nice father screamed at us... relating my kith and kin to his fantasies, when we turned around and said “No ...Hindi”

It took a while for us to get back to our senses! I dropped him home, laughed for quite a while and got back to my sleep hoping to see the dreams ahead!

Even today when I go back home, I talk about this to Aravindan. Sometimes we even drive by that place to see if she recognizes us. But never had we got a chance to see her and complete our existence. Quite often she does popup like this in my memory and says “I was a part of your stupidity”

The Motor Cycle Diaries! - WY 2

2005-07-13T16:56:00.001-05:00

Motor Cycle Diaries!

This is my Second on the Wonder Years Series - The Motorcycle Diaries

Statutory Warning or Exciting news: This is not one of my ideality posts.

Place: Madras

Time: Sometime during the year 1997

I haven’t seen the movie The Motorcycle Diaries (2004) yet. But I heard it’s pretty good. Anyways, I have my own Motor Cycle Diaries in the making! My stories are not really the motorcycle kinds but somewhere in the same vicinity though! Well, out with it! I have to drive that girly TVS Scooty almost all the time! It’s because that most of the time I lose those cold fights (for Hero Honda) with my dear brother who easily clears it based on the seniority factors.

Well, every single person in Madras (I prefer it over Chennai) would have done this. The motorcycle love stories. The ones that live short in reality but stay long in memory. The ones that give you butterflies and leave you brain dead. The Manirathnam kinds. There are quite a lot of varieties in these stories. The Annanagar-to-Alwarpet kinds, the ones that ends up in traffic violation and ‘Mama’ools etc.. This one is quite on the same category, but a little different, as it lasted a little longer! 3 hrs and 25 mins precisely!

By the way, this is not a dream in a dream stunt I am trying to pull. The narration describes the events exactly as happened with a little bit of flavor!

1835 hrs - Chennai Kaliappa Hospital Signal

I was driving my Lakshmi (TVS Scooty) along with Aravindan.

The best part about the Madras girls is their looks! Not the way they dress, but the real looks and stares. The way they exchange the glares, which stays for a fraction of a second, with that controlling smile is priceless. The beauty of it is that most of the time the eye to eye will be perfectly timed. In this case it was different. I was at the signal bored on waiting, started to tap the break levers with my restless fingers.

God heard me!

Just like in the Tamil movies, a wonderfully ornamented hand peeped out of the window of a white Maruthi van behind us to respond to the taps! Well, my rear view mirror was perfectly loyal to its boss and captured the response faster than the thought!

I told Aravindan, about the girl who was responding to us. As expected he shifted from ground state to the excited state as soon as he understood what’s going on! We both adjusted the rear view mirror and made sure that we acknowledge the response! The face was yet to be seen though, but the response started to become more associated. She started to play with us, and pulled us inside the game which was catalyzed by the excitement!

After a couple of honks and shouts, I had to respond to the green light! Without any discussion we, Aravindan and myself, understood each other and decided to follow the Maruthi van!

The evening was set.

As we followed the van, we made sure that she knows that we are following her! After a few accelerations and coastings, she held her hands outside and pointed at a clothing place near the Alwarpet signal! (There were no flyovers then) Now that we made sure that she is not disturbed by the fact that we are following her, we just tailgated the van. The van drove all the way and stopped at a fast food joint! Gangothri!

1855 hrs Gangothri – Madras!

Mixed emotions. We were thoroughly confused and had absolutely no idea on how to proceed! The gut master inside us woke up and pulled us all the way inside the joint! I remembered her Salwar, so my eyes were looking for the colors of similar kind! Certainly did not do it at the expense of the other beauties around...After minutes of Random search, I locked my eyes on her!

She was eating some Dahi puri or something, who cared what she was eating, but I did not forget to lock my sight on the lips that sealed it. She made sure that her parents did not face us. BTW she had come with her parents and was doing every damn possible thing without their knowledge. Long live Madras guts! We shared glimpses and responded to the smiles! The butterflies went down all the way from hearts to the abdomen.

B: Aravinda...she is smiling at us!
A: Machi, are u sure…I think she is laughing at us!?

I wanted to have a good look at her! So from then I developed the habit of washing my hands after drinking Coke!

She was breathtaking! The smile was the first thing I noticed. She had this naughty smile on her lips that was screaming “I like you stalker” …the eyes were glowing with innocence, demotivating all my intentions of quitting!

I walked back and told Aravindan, “Machan! You have that luck factor da…how in the world do we end up with beauties all the time!?”

Aravindan had that look gleaming with pride and honor, as I said, “You never understands my sarcasm, do you!?...She is pathetic da mama!” Well, I always have this extra expectation, so I was certainly not accepting her falling short of it! She was! Everything but her eyes and smile was falling short of my expectations!

“Another word about Monal, you will be dead!” Aravindan was boiling!

“Who is Monal”, I had no clue.

“In Chidambaram (his home town) there is this Sate kutty (Maarvadi girl) I like, her name is Monal. This girl doesn’t look like her, but I think she is also a Marvaadi and I like her…so no matter what her real name is…she is Monal from now on!” Aravindan was on the roll, when my search for the words to respond had just begun!

Part 2 is here!

Complaints

2005-07-12T11:14:00.001-05:00

"I don’t like the attitude of that person"

"I think he is so damn dirty and I don’t know how in the world he is going to cope without roomies"

"The boss extracts a lot form us. Give me a break! I am supposed to work for just 20 hrs a week"

"Look at the way they have typed their emails. How in the world they can be so damn unprofessional"

These are some of the sample complaints that we get to hear day-in and day-out. Both from the consciously non-idealistic-self as well as the hopefully-changing-world around us. Have we ever thought that may be we are thinking too much and wasting a whole lot of our time cribbing about something which isn’t worth the priceless time!

Complaints are something I hate to hear. I am sure that my acquaintances get to hear some from my side as well. After all I am still on a mission towards finding the path to ideality. As a matter of fact, I am doing it right now as we converse (not literally), cribbing about people who complain! We complain almost every hour of the day. For some of us, complaining has become habitual.

Why do we complain?

Think a little bit more on the instances we complain, why do we do it? The answer is that we tend to do go against nature! There is no point in fighting against it. Warriors are known for the battle they chose! Fight the fight that we can win! When we know that we cannot win we end up complaining!

Be it a thing or person or a circumstance, the beauty of nature is that it doesn’t hold on to your own laws of expectation always. It has its own way of expressing its preferences! When a person that we know (or atleast we think) is acting in a way defying the laws of expectations, we result in complaining! Forgetting the fact that it’s us in the first place framed the mindset of such a characterization and expecting the person to follow the pattern. It goes well with circumstances as well as things of any kind!

Can we ever quit and start enjoying those imperfections! Or at the least accept it as imperfections.

I tried and it’s quite possible in sometimes. The way I chose to betray my complaining syndrome is to practice the "Blame it on myself" strategy! Take Cricket for example, I tried to stop cribbing about the pitch quality on low-kept balls. Started paying more attention on covering the wickets and play those drives and punches ruling out the impossible penetrations! I stopped cribbing about the quality of vegetarian food that I get in the hangouts across the bible-belt and started to enjoy those fresh vegetables and salads with those different dressings followed by those late night curd-rice-stints!

For a moment, think from the other perspective. Why the person would behave in such a way…or why did the situation unfolded in a particular way and why aren’t we accepting it. It’s reasoning! Living forward and learning backward! Possessing whatever you wanted in life is not always an easy thing to achieve, at the same time accepting and appreciating whatever you possess is an art! (Guess I am an arranged-marriage material)

On the other hand if you fail to complain about/acknowledge your own imperfections, you would never propagate towards achieving the unachievable! The idealistic case! Complaining about yourself to yourself is something that everyone needs to practice along with the obvious of amusements of enjoying the progressions that you gain from the earlier complaints!

Positive perception is ideality, reaching it is like realizing God or understanding self. One cannot achieve it easily. At the same time, if we can acknowledge the fact that "all we need is just that positive perception" to enjoy those imperfections which are strangled with the distributed beauties, the thorns become invisible and all you see is just those rose petals peeping in with a great smile!

New Student Emails!

2005-07-08T14:28:00.001-05:00

Throw some sensible ones!!

Apologies for the promptness in delaying the posts that were not supposed to be delayed but to be prompt! It’s been more than week since I posted anything interesting! May be I was partially motivated and directed towards research and development! Now that the advisor-factor has been negotiated through the scheduled weekly meetings, I can start thinking away from the thermodynamic spectrum with the dell pad thought-production systems! The past week was hectic with cricket tournament followed by the sweet victory and hence the delay is justified!

Anyways, I started to write something on Responsibility and it occurred to me that it would be too heavy a thought to transfer and hence here am with something lighter ….

We have this phenomenal way of trusting our standards and presuming it to be high. I have done this all through my life and failed miserably at times. Especially through electronic communications! Sending emails to someone with subject “check out the attachment” and forgetting to attach it in the first place. Signing “Lots of Love” to a professional email! Things like that pops up every now and then, but the frequency curve hopefully goes down, especially when you claim to have developed the so-called “professionalism” and have that reputation (false) to protect!

If you are a graduate student here in the States, I’m sure you would acknowledge this post! Most of the Indian grad students here would have to contact strangers far across, electronically, to know the status of the assistantships, living style et al. No matter how much time the pre-existing graduate students have already spent on clarifying everything on the association website, it takes lots of courage and little less brains for the new students to ask those questions that would make you ponder, “Did I ask these kinds of questions?” Ironically, I had to be connected through these communications! Here are some of those email communications that I still have in my inbox! I haven’t changed a single word from those emails I received except for those identity revelations!

hi bharat,
u got my VISA today.......

A little less attention to detail changes the whole meaning!, u and I are always closer together in a keypad!! We can always look back as we read again before clicking that send button!

I am a guy from Hyderabad so can you suggest any shops to get the clothing that you suggested in the link of the Indian association.... Please wish me luck as i am going for my VISA on 19th....

I was rolling on the floor for this! This guy assumed that I was from Hyderabad….well I have this weird last name which motivated him… Barath Baburao…does it sound Hyderbadi?! Apparently it did for him!

Dear annaya, (Some start to make relationships!)
I would like to know which of the following I need to buy in INDIA. 1. sweaters 2. wind cheaters 3. blazer/ suit 4. scarf/ muffler 5. woolen gloves 6. monkey cap (ROTFL :)) 7. rugs / blankets 8. comforters 9. umbrella , torch , college bag 10.rice & dals 11.alarm clock 12.razor blades 13.tiffin box And a few more Questions. are pirated CD's like Songs or software written allowed.

To be really frank, my dad was a bit nervous in sending me there since I am his only child (eklautha beta)
My dad says he is happy about someone from India being there he was extremely pleased.

Would it ever occur to them that somneone on the other side is not asking for any details! Unnecessary details are always a turnoff! I used to get emails addressing me …Hello Barath Sir, Hello Prof. Barath, Pranam Barathji assuming that the president of an organization is always an old man like S.D. Sharma. The funny part is that most of the people who email me like this are much older than I was.

Well, everyone makes mistakes. But one should never forget to step ahead and learn something out of it! In one of my early correspondences to a grad student, I signed the email with “Love”. The student was kind enough to thrash me with that “don’t try to act weird/smart” response! From then, I always pay that little more attention when I am finishing up an electronic communication.

The point I am trying to focus was on the assumed standards on standards! Setting high standards is fine, but gauging it is very important. High, low, small, big ...all these terms are relative to something. So it is when it comes to standards. If we assume to have set high standards for ourselves, then justify it! On what basis do we think that our standards are high? On instances when we communicate to a stranger whose standards are of no knowledge to us, it is important that we have to be really careful with the word transfer.

I remember this from one of those Steven Segal movies (guess its Under Siege 2) that I generally hate, “Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups”. Probably the only saner thing from the martial art master! Absolutely true! Assuming your assumptions to be right is as bad as it can get! So stay away from it and learn the art of electronic communications!

Superstitions

2005-07-01T13:08:00.002-05:00

I was hoping to write this as a non-cricket post but anyways…I tried

Yesterday, I was engaged in those daily meaningless pre-game activities that I rumble upon every time before I get to the field! Completely superstitious, like slamming the door or having the collar loose and stuffs like that. Performance was never credited to these, but failures are always directed towards not following one of those activities.

Superstitions are part of anyone who believes in winning and has a slight inclination towards the thought that everything is connected to everything in ways unbeknown to us. But, there is a very thin line that separates sanity and superstitious beliefs. How far are we away from self-confidence and believe in those things that you don’t know for sure is connected to the outcome!

I still remember my school/college days, where I had to pencil my name before I see the first question in the question paper. If in someway I was forced to see the questions before the name rule, I end up writing the answers to my true caliber, which by the way SUCKS!! End up either losing a lot of marks because of my attention (lack of) to details or doing something weird that I usually don’t. May be I was flustered by the fact that I knew that I did not follow the usual. But the outcome is of very high importance that most of us dont have the luxury to be pragmatic and hence virtually forced to follow the protocols, which is framed by ourselves out of nowhere.

Supporters of superstitions are behind the theory that If something can be thought of (=is possible) and is not known (=proven or observed) yet - it is most probably due to the shortcomings of Science and not because it does not exist. Hence the motivation towards reasoning the saner varieties that we were told to do by grannies of the household, like the viboodhi to sleep to absorb those bad waters (or something like that). Today's superstition could well become tomorrow's Science provided with the right theoretical developments.

These beliefs are harmless as long as it’s not hurting anyone on the progress. At the same time one should not let it flirt with the self-confidence. If one let their superstitious belief propose to their self-confidence, the baby that they make together is not as strong as it is supposed to be.

On ending this on a lighter note today, in one of the advisor’s out-of-town days, I asked Mr.G to get me some of the international Cricket superstitions. Here we are with some interesting ones; I guess you would know most of them. You are welcome to add something that you know!

Sunny Gavaskar always used to ground his bat first before bringing his right foot into position, while taking guard.

Kapil Dev used to wear socks first to his left leg.

Dilip Vengsarkar, who took to captaincy in the late 1980s, never shaved during the five-day Test matches.

1983 World Cup: India was down in the dumps in game against Zimbabwe during the 1983 World Cup. Suddenly Kapil Dev began stroking the ball. The manager of the team Man Singh saw this and shouted instructions: "Nobody would move from his seat." Srikkanath was standing outside the dressing room on this cold, windy day, with a cup of coffee in his hand. And he didn't move for the next two hours or so! He wanted to go to the loo, but the entire team said: no! It stayed that way till Kapil walked back with a triumphant 175 not out. Not just Srikkanath but the entire team stood at the same spots. It was one of the greatest knocks in any form of cricket. The miracle happened and India went on to claim the World Cup.

Master Blaster Sachin Tendulkar with all those big tons behind him also is the superstitious Tendulkar always wears his left pad first and when he was captain would not take off his kit till the innings was over!

Rahul Dravid, The Wall wears his right pad first as a matter of superstition.

Sanath Jayasurya, the big hitter from Sri Lanka always searches for something in his pocket while batting. Maybe it is a lucky charm. But it has certainly worked for Sanath, especially against India!

Steve Waugh used to carry a red handkerchief in his left pocket, which was given to him by his late grandfather. And then there was his battered baggy green cap that Waugh persisted with.

Md. Azharuddin’s "taabeez" always hung out when he came out to bat. No wonder then that Azhar slammed three straight Test tons against England apart from being one of the most prolific batsmen that India had ever produced.

The Bengal Tiger, Sourav Ganguly carries a photo of his guruji in his pocket when he is enters the field. It seems to have worked well in the past…does he still have his pockets!?

Remember that 10 wicket hall taken by Anil Kumble against Pakistan at the Feroze Shah Kotla? In that match as a superstition Sachin used to give Kumble's sweater and cap to the umpire before Anil was to bowl an over, and every time Sachin did it Kumble got a wicket in that very over.

When reality strikes!- Short story - Part 2

2005-06-28T11:35:00.002-05:00

See Part 1 here

"Dei mama, this is too much da", he was obviously disturbed to see me reacting as if I saw a stranger.

"Machi, just because of some stupid idiotic reason like adding your name after her brother's in a horrendous fwd mail, you can't do this to her. You guys have been going out for the past 3 years. Aren’t you supposed to be more matured than this" Sriram certainly did not like himself being the mediator.

I was confused. I made sure that am not seeing her eyes, which will take away all those egoistic absurdities that I had framed for my “self”. All she did was a tap on the floor. It was like "Look up moron", for God knows what reason; I looked up right in to her eyes.

Without taking my eyes off her, which I couldn’t , I said "Dei, ask her if she is coming home for the cutlet and chutney", a glimpse of her eyes did what my mom, father, sister, brother and loads of thrashings from Sriram failed to do for the past 48 hours.

Moments later, I was witnessing her talking skills as she was discussing something that she is really bad at. Cooking!! And for my mom, nothing is better in the world than a sincere student who likes to learn the skill set from her. Certainly she had her way through my mom. No wonder she made my mom say the all important "Yes" in a jiffy, 3 years ago.

Knock Knock!

My brother entered, it took few seconds for him to understand what’s going on, the moment he knew it! He was laughing out loud! "You are so damn hopeless da. I still remember your strong face, when you said you will come to Anniyan tonight with Sriram! You were so damn sure that it will be only Sriram and none else. Now that she is here, I know that it won’t happen. You can't stay put for more than 48 hrs, can you?"

It took a piercing look and loads of thrashings from her to stop him rolling on the floor at my expense. On the other hand, I was lucky to have a sensible brother like him. He had booked 4 tickets for the night show and took appa and amma along with the much needed Sriram, knowing that we need our terrace time to catch up on the past 48 hrs.

After the tatas and see you laters, I was with her counting on the moments I was thinking about her for the past two days. I already knew that one cannot quantify a feeling, but the pleasure of trying to quantify it, cannot be explained. I know that I had been missing those eyes, palms, smell, warmth and most of all the presence. But the dude inside stopped me from being the expressive kind. I was not quite certain on what happened to me! What do I call her eyes, Gravity? Vacuum? Black hole? May be something else which is yet to be explored by the classical and contemporary physicists! I was absolutely no one when it comes to physics, but the privilege of the possessing the unexplorable certainly was getting on my head. Even if I wake her up in the middle of the night and look in to those beautiful eyes! I would witness the inexpressible.

We did not converse for the past 48 hours, even after the make up in the temple, everything was through Sriram. After sending all off, it was the three-stair-walk with the hands holding the hearts! On the terrace with the most romantic set-up, amidst the foreshore breeze and the Orion, Pegasus and Andromeda, she killed the dude in me with just a glimpse. The tiny sparkle that was glancing at me as her lachrymal byproduct evolved and catalyzed the instinctual revelations, made me say it, first. What I never thought would say, “I......."

"You've got mail....” the Celeron was yelling at me. It was 7:49 am, Cookeville, Tennessee. "Come on da its summer and… the boss…he is not in town, wake up later moron, it’s so damn nice why don’t you continue it", I was talking to myself. I was all alone in well lit up room to negate the Chandramukhi factors that was gripping me for a while now.

After a brief fight between the guilt and the dream progression, I was out of the bed, thinking that "Would it have been like this if I was home now, instead of being in this world of reasoning and adaptation?"

Well as I stepped in, the western style was laughing at me, shouting, "IN YOUR DREAMS BUDDY".

After the customary few moments with the microwave coffee and CNN headlines. Nostalgia picked up my cell phone, called my sister and said "What are you doing di? Did Priyanka started?"

It took a while for her to understand my question without realizing that the dude in me was awake and risen, trying to ask irrelevant questions and killing the real me.

After a 7 min stroll, I was in my office looking at my outlook to see those bulk mails in my hotmail folder and the unperturbed desktop icons!

"Barath, kill that dude in you, be yourself. At least tell it to her", I told myself.

I opened my desktop folder, looked at her and finally said "I missed you",

Thermodynamics was smiling back at me!!

When reality strikes!- Short story - Part 1

2005-06-28T10:53:00.002-05:00

I'm not a great story teller/writer. But a strong be'lie'ver on trying new things. If you are used to my idealism, you would not enjoy this as much as you usually do. But wth, give it a shot!

"Barath!!" unusually, appa was not loud that day.

"Yes am up! appa!", I was up 5 mins ago, waiting on his VoIP.

It took a couple of minutes for me to get up and fold my dear old nearly ruined mat and the blanket that was protecting my dreams on the day ahead. With the few uncontrollable steps, followed by a stopover and a headshake, I was right outside the first bathroom. I always need that 30 seconds outside the bathroom, with my heads right on the door to catch up and take that dizz over.

"Allrite lets start it", I said to myself.

In few seconds, I was outside, in the balcony/washing place, multitasking! Gobbling and looking for her in the next apartment. After sharing a few glimpses of her along with her amma and making those unwanted noises to grab an eye to eye, I was ready to start my day.

"How many days do I have to tell you to wear a pure cotton saree when you are going to sleep?" the adulterated cotton sarees does not take the moisture out of the morning face wash. And it's almost impossible to start my day without wiping my face on mom's saree and the hug from behind.

"Okay doggie. I will consider it next time. Now take your foamy coffee and drink it soon and btw Mr.Rao, do you need your second one?" amma was at her best, and for appa it was just a nod without taking an eye of his keep, Hindu. I always wondered how in the world she manages everything with all those time constraints in just the two tiny hands that she has. No wonder she is managing a whole school all by herself.

After the routine viboodhis and Gajananams I was hoping to pierce through my schedule. I was answering something to amma and was trying to step in to the shower as the bathroom door drove my head through the covers.

"Dei, Buffalo, I am inside. Give me a couple of mins" my brother. It was unusual to witness him being inside the bathroom before me. Then I remembered that it was his meeting day and he needed to be there in his office by 8.00 am.

As for me, "the morning business" is like making love, not because I do it more than once a day in weird timings, but for other unaccountable reasons. The other bathroom at home was western style. Not to take anything from their culture, but I hate western style, it never gives me the feeling of completion. Especially the climax! Sheeesh! One thing is for sure, they really don't know what they are missing. Awkwardly positioned!! Impossible to carry on for the rest of the day. Thank god I am not forced to use it every day.

After flirting with few mugs of cold water and the good old cinthol, listening to amma's don't waste water slokas, I was out getting ready listening to the morning headliners with my appa's 3rd round of filter coffee.

"Dei Dog, what are you doing tonight? How about Anniyan night show?" my brother, for the past few days, was insisting on joining him

"Allrite da, will tag along with Sriram" I stressed, as he responded with a smile, right before his runaway from the morning curd rice and curry. It took few minutes for amma to realize that he ran away without even eating his breakfast. After the usual ramblings and thrashings, she was back to normal, consoling herself that she would feed him more in the evening with some cutlets and chutney.

Well, my usual breakfast was curd rice and the most welcomed hot curry in the middle of the course. It's more of a custom that I had to follow every morning. As a matter of fact, I cannot start or end my day without it. After reminding my father to call my sister and make sure that she has everything for the weekend function that she was planning to host in Adyar, I was out in my old Zen, towards my office.

In few minutes, right after the customary honks for the neighboring sexuality to make sure that she knows that I was out of the house, I was on the roads.

The morning went on with the usual coffee breaks and debugging. The afternoon was with the usual blank calls and sleep control activities.

"Dei buffalo, where in the world are you? It's almost 5:30; have to go to the Anjineyar temple and we might go to Anniyan night show? Where are you?" I was screaming at Sriram.

"Allrite, I will see you at the temple in 15 minutes" he was there with usual IST promises.

6:15, he was there. "Sorry Maaps, it took longer than I expected, Anyways give me a few minutes, I will be back" knowing that I won't mind him delaying his stay there.

I was right there, with my thoughts and eyes aligned on her. I have been visiting this temple, everyday for the past 10 years, but for the last few days this is something that I enjoyed to do. It's impossible to take your eyes off a beauty in a temple. It goes well with both the god as well as women. Especially when you know, that she don't mind you watching her, as a matter of fact she was enjoying it. I always have the Temple times divided in to Saami time (pre-prayer) and Maami time (post-prayer, looking at the beauties). As I was in my Maami time, I know Anji would not mind me paying my tributes to the goddess of beauty. She was breathtaking! "Thank god she lives next door", I said to myself.

Before I could quantify the amount of time that passed by as I was enjoying the beauty of the creator. I saw Sriram talking to her. I did not realize the reasons for the funny feeling that was flowing through my blood vessels. To add more to it, they both were walking towards me. As they approached my radius of gyration, I was not even looking at their eyes. Its not the typical me, never in my life I have given a thought before looking at someone in to the eyes and start a conversation, but today its not the same. As a matter of fact, I was shaking inside and starting to feel restless motivating myself not to bite my nails and display the nervous disorder! without realizing that I have been doing it from the moment they started walking towards me.

Part 2 is here!

Personal Space!!

2005-06-18T11:10:00.001-05:00

Everyone in this world has their own personal space! Invading it would be either a privlege or a blunder. It is something that we create to ourselves, may be like an invisible suit that we pretend to wear. In most cases we dont tend to enjoy sharing this personal space. Its precisely the reason why we often tend to see meaningless lights and buttons when we are in a crowded elevator.

When we have this kind of a personal space framed up as we walk and present ourselves, we also have those other invisible spaces that we often want to be neither revealed nor realized. Iam talking about the possession space. The ones that you prefer to keep it to yourself.

I remember this happening during my 11 th standard if am not wrong!

Some day of the week, some time between 14 45 to 14 55 hrs...the old fashioned BBrao parked his Annamalai style (the big hercules ones) cycle and entered the room with the heaviest back pack in the world! Generally, Mr.Baburao (the originator)...welcomes me and spends a couple of mins asking about my day at school...and by the 121 st second there will be a cup filled with the best filter coffee in the world!...but that day he was busy, a phone call, talking to someone that I presumed to be a stranger! Generally, I over hear everyones conversation if its happening in the same room. But that day I was too tired to pay even the slightest attention in the world!

Almost 1200 seconds of halucination, which was a byproduct of the reaction between the body and mind catalysed by the chennai heat, I heard him telling something like

"Barath..?..I think he is just tired, may be he will talk. Let me give the fone to him".

I was wondering if there was anyone else in the room and who in the world was he talking to at this time of the day and why would I talk to that person. I picked up the fone...and waited for the voice! It was Lavanya...! One of my best buddies, and my beloved Mr.Rao hardly knew her, and by then he dont even know how she looks like. All he knew was her existence and that she calls me often and we spend some hours on the fone! Then I realized that I had told her that I was free that day and we would spend sometime on the fone. She spoke to me for a meagre 300 seconds and indirectly said that Mr.Rao flirts as good as I do..! I dont know if its a compliment or a curse! I was fuming...and turned around to give that piercing look ...but there he was waiting with the best coffee again...for the past 300-121 seconds!

I said "Ada paavi manishaa...Idellam konjam overa theriala!".[you sinner dont you think its too much].His reply was "ada podaa wetti...summa fonelaye pesindu irukaan, wera edhukum laaiki illa" [you are just fit to talk on the fone and nothing more]. I hate these kind of translations and the truth in it, but couldnt help here.

Well, by then, Lavanya was surely my possession. Even now she is, in a different way. But I was neither flustered nor frustrated by Mr.Rao's divine intervention! Its the privilege that he gets to have. He knows the golden rule that he has the right to know what I possess and I know that he would never assess.

I often tell my friends that I' am an open book, and in most of the cases its unanimously refuted. They end up listing that under my usual BS. Well, I agree and disagree. When I say am an open book, I mean to the extent of one's right. Whatever one supposed to know, will be made visible to them. Knowing beyond that is a privlege or a curse that one gets to accept. Who sets these rules and how good are these.. is the question, that has an egoistic answer!

Anyways, the point I was trying to nail here is that everyone has their visible/invisible entities that they are posessive about. Let it be a personal secret, or be an acquaintance. Knowing and enjoying those is a privlege that one offers. That offer comes only with trust. Sometimes it happens when one tries to pierce through the circle of importance. Sometimes it never happens even you are in the closest circle of importance. Sometimes its used to pierce in through your own circle of importance. As far as I know, the best way is to wait for that offer without expecting that to be extended. When its extended, one needs to respect and enjoy it because its always mutual.

Wonder Years or Wonder, Years? – (I)

2005-06-14T13:49:00.001-05:00

I was talking to my friend the other day, we had a decent discussion and I was amused to realize a fact that we were talking about some of our teen wonders! It looks so far away! May be wisdom stuck us so early. On one end it is beautiful to realize that we developed the maturity to reason and understand life much better than what we did at that time. However, on the other end, it was hard to accept the fact that we lost the formula to enjoy the trivial things in life. May be we don’t have time! Or may be we know too much now! Ignorance was certainly bliss!

The funny fact is that, sometimes, when we don’t have something, we try and try to posses it and once we acquire it, it would not be as enjoyable as we once thought. On the other hand, from one perspective you can make it enjoyable as we progress! Maturity and reasoning is of that kind, when I was young, without my realization, I was fighting my way through to get rid of the kiddo feeling. Once I got through it, it’s impossible to get that back.

As for me, making friends was always easy, but the process was much enjoyable then than now. There were no hurdles to pass through then; acceptance was prevailing when evaluation was demoralized. The present days are aligned with unintentional and unstoppable habits like judgmental, evaluating phases!

In one of those blank moments, I thought of those few people I grew up with, those now-so-stupid memories and where they are! Well, it’s been an awesome journey and one can’t rule the world much better than how we did then. So, in the series of what I call (and we know) ‘Wonder Years (WY)’, which might come up every now and then in my blogs, I thought of glorifying our moments of stupidity and remember them once in a while!

It was during the start of my 3rd year of engineering, I used to shuttle from Chidambaram to Chennai every weekend (to get rid of the (pea)nutophobia)! Guna and myself were planning to drain our brain to the States then. So we were in the initial steps of the passport application formalities!

Rangaswamy studio, Mylapore. If you had ever been to this place, you would definitely corroborate my conclusions! Once you are there, it’s almost impossible to control those laughter releasing natural tranquilizers, pain relievers and endorphins. Especially, after seeing their enormous network display, from S.Ve Shekhar to Riskshaw Maari.

“Machi! What pictures da..? Comedy! May be they will hang ours right after we take our passport pictures!” I was expecting the photographer to show his skills.

“We will see! No matter what…the camera won’t lie mame!” Guna was well within his own world of reality.

Rangaswamy Jr., took us in to the studio, we were in our usual dresses and posing as normal as ever, without realizing the fact that the picture was going to stay with us for atleast a decade from then. Two clicks for each of us was on! The pictures were due to be collected the Wednesday from then. So it was unsaid that Guna was going to collect it and I was going to get it from him the following weekend.

A week went by with my train and his bus adventures! A Saturday was waiting for me to realize the reality.

Knock! Knock!

“Machi, we need to apply for our passport next week! Anyways, did you get the pics from the studio?” there was certainly some electron transfer to transpire my excited state!

Guna with his unusual sorry face turned in my pictures!

Rangaswamy Jr., was definitely not P.C.Sriram, but was skilled enough to replicate reality! It was a total shocker! I looked like an AIDS patient and Guna’s look was competing with a Con as well as an Autodriver!

“Ot*a! Om**la! Enna yezhavu da idhu! (WTF)! How can this be so damn miserable!?! Impossible!” Reality was not easy to accept!

“Yes, Mamse…do you still think that these pictures will be hanging outside the studio or a few buildings along in the E-1 police station!” Guna seemed to have gone through cribbing part already!

I was curious, was looking at all angles in my own perceptional Santhosh Sivan that always showed me what I wanted to see! The Mirror! Well, reality seemed to sink in then!

“Machan, we are’nt this bad da…what happened to the other pic! He took two snaps did’nt he?” was trying in vain!

“Mams, if you are so damn curious now, imagine my level when I saw the picture right outside the studio. As a matter of fact, I asked him about the other picture! He took a deep breath and patted on my shoulder and said Buddy! You did not see the other picture; if you had you wouldn’t have been asking this question to me now”

We certainly did not have words after that! All we could do was roll on the floor and laugh and make sure no one else sees that picture!

Gunasekhar Natrajan! We still talk once in a while, when he is staying Sleepless in Seattle. The irony is that, right now, his Meg Ryan is Bill Gates!

I still see that picture almost every semester start! Its smiling from my passport, portraying that ‘looks are the last thing that matters’ at the least for my girl it has to be the last thing! May be I should scan that and post it once!

I know this incident certainly doesn’t reflect what I was trying to convey in the first paragraph! But what I realize is “On the other hand, from one perspective you can make it enjoyable as we progress!” statement is very true or I would like atleast to make it so. Great friends and great memories are almost similar, you don’t lose them anytime. The best part is that, both stays there forever waiting for you to be touched and realized. The funny part is that we don’t communicate frequently with the few best friends that we have in our life, and it doesn’t matter! As long as you realize it that no matter when, where and how, its there waiting for us! And once in a while it needs to be touched and realized. Doesn’t matter how frequently you do it but how true you are when you do it is more important than any other thing!

Entertainment-Hwood forthcoming!

2005-06-06T09:21:00.001-05:00

Well, this is not one of my usual blogs. Never wanted this blog to be a media kind but couldn’t help talking about this. Apologies if short pitched on expectations!

FEEDREADER (thanks to Srikanth Pulapaka) I don’t know how many of you guys use this to read your blogs and news. Its quite efficient, doesn’t let you go to each of the blogs through your mozilla or IE and refresh it everyday for updates. Instead, it supplies the links and content as text as soon as it is updated! Well, the geeky way of telling it is that Feedreader is a lightweight open-source aggregator that supports RSS and ATOM formats. It works under Windows 95 and later versions. If you are wondering how in the world is this relevant to the Forthcoming Movies, well it is. I was looking at one of the other blogs that I usually read, a media kind by a Lazygeek and was amused to find that his network is pretty good in delivering the news information to keep track of the current affairs, especially in the entertainment sectors. So, I was looking forward to enhance the newsing sectors through this Feedreader. The prefixed feeds popped me up some news about two interesting forthcoming movies! The Indiana Jones 4 and The DaVinci Code! May be I am late ...but it’s always better to be late than never!

Well, most of the adv movie fans would love the former for the obvious reasons, Anyways , the team could be Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Karen Allen, Kate Capshaw, Calista Flockhart (rumored), Colin Hanks (rumored), John Rhys-Davies (rumored) Director: Steven Spielberg Writer: Jeff Nathanson. Rumors were also towards M. Night Shyamalan and Tom Stoppard who were each asked to pen a draft of the screenplay.

Release Date 2006

The tentative script is that the Indiana Jones may be searching for the Lost City of Atlantis in his latest adventure, and rumors say that Lucas and Spielberg have recently approved the scripts and may be Indy 4 can be expected to in the news pretty soon!

The Second one is The DaVinci code...It’s been up on the best sellers for a while now, turning out to be one of the most controversial books of all time! If you have not read it yet! You are missing something! Initial rumors said it was going to be a James Cameroon film. Apparently, now it’s the beautiful mind leading the team, yes, its going to be a Ron Howard film.

The Trailer looks neat! Btw the star cast includes, Tom Hanks, Audrey Tautou, Jean Reno, Sir Ian McKellen and Alfred Molina. There is a whole bunch of information to be delivered by the team. It’s not going to be easy, but considering the reputation of the team, Iam sure it would be as entertaining and gripping as the original work!!

Parental thoughts!

2005-05-15T20:31:00.001-05:00

Quite often I have this tendency to evaluate what’s been told to me. If you have read my earlier posts, you would definitely agree that am more aligned to not following anything blindly! As a matter of fact, it is a nice theory to practice, it helps in character development. The “why?” plays a major role in understanding a lot of simple yet complicated development. But sometimes, we are not aware of long-term consequences and the decisions that we stick on to might not be in the same spectrum of what’s been told to us. I’m talking about parental advises! Most of the times, when my parents suggest me something and if I take another road, I end up tracing my track back to the direction they pointed earlier! Not after listening to them, but after realizing that it’s a much better option.

I have this phenomenal belief in experience. I certainly agree that it’s the best teacher you can ever get. The refinement in the thought process and the perspective development that we get as we stumble upon simple things in life is priceless. If this is the way we realize and refine ourselves as we grow, imagine the development of our parents or anyone from our lineage! We can’t overlook the fact that time progresses with same speed for everyone, so as we get wiser, they do too. May be we can argue that the education, generation and communication gives us the perception that they have not perceived during their walks of realization. But, the level of comprehension that they have acquired on us based on innumerable hours of observation is as great as the knowledge that we think we possess.

“We seem to gain wisdom more readily through our failures than through our successes”

How true. The best part is that we have the experience right beside us in the form of our biological origin. The suggestions that we listen to, or atleast pretend to listen to, are generally not in our area of expertise. Certainly, my father wouldn’t talk or suggest me something about Gibbs free energy or cross-association. But he would, on financial/people management.

So, is it remotely possible to listen and follow their suggestion sans evaluation?

I tried and it was not! We have this so called “whying-syndrome” and have the tendency to think that we visualize things much better than anyone else because of our bond with the situation that we are in to. It’s almost impossible to get rid of that and base our decisions on a non-evaluatory basis. At the same time, it’s not a blunder to discuss and let them know that we have considered their vision as of one of our highways to achieve. May be we will comeback to their pathway, but it’s definitely not something that we can even of think of overlooking. Let it be completely different and opposite to what you think. It’s certainly worth a few-minute- evaluation.

Hey Ram!!

2005-05-11T14:46:00.001-05:00

From Times!

Sometime during the early 80’s... In one of those few arguments that escape the pop-up blockers in the middle class lifestyle in south India, A mother was shouting at the top of her voice! “Gandhi was and is the reason for the present irreparable state of the nation”! A 6-year old kid was listening to that and the mother was not even in the vicinity of understanding that the kid was recording those words in the cerebellum! Without comprehension! The mother was indirectly imposing her perceptional derivatives!

The kid was Barath Baburao!!

Right from those days, my thought was never amplified in revering The Mahatma. Even though, I was brought up with his noble stories and all the positivities across! I some how did not accept Gandhiji as The Mahatma, blindly. That’s absolutely ridiculous isn’t it?! It did not take a long time for me to realize that the perception I had on Gandhi was an enforced phenomenon. My mother and her knowledge accumulation was from the supporters of Sardhar Vallabhai Patel, who supposedly would have been the first Prime minister of free India and according to people would have been the best of the best (when compared to the womanizing Pandit). These non-supporters perfectly reasoned their opinions with facts and perceptions that would easily make a neutral believe in what they say! Listing those facts and perceptions would make this a political blog, which am against to! As a matter of fact there was even an interview of Gopal Godse that rediff came up with 7 years ago which could easily be one of those torch bearers for contemporary corroborators of the non-supporters!

As time progressed in the 4th dimension! There were several discussions where I was arguing with zero knowledge potential! Finally, one of those arguments led me to delve deeper into the life of The Mahatma. From that point, I realized it’s nearly impossible to think of completing that exercise. I once read somewhere that ‘the only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing’, his life exemplifies that. He was never ideal! But he knew what is that he had to do to reach there! I’m not sure but I heard or read somewhere that he was very close to win the man of the century award and which finally went to the relative genius! Certainly, the deserved recipe for the 1930 Times Man of the year award!

Talking about Einstein I recently read somewhere about the few of their correspondences

Respected Mr. Gandhi!

I use the presence of your friend in our home to send you these lines. You have shown through your works, that it is possible to succeed without violence even with those who have not discarded the method of violence. We may hope that your example will spread beyond the borders of your country, and will help to establish an international authority, respected by all, that will take decisions and replace war conflicts.

With sincere admiration,

Yours A. Einstein.

I hope that I will be able to meet you face to face some day.

----------------------------

DEAR FRIEND,

I was delighted to have your beautiful letter sent through Sundaram. It is a great consolation to me that the work I am doing finds favour in your sight. I do indeed wish that we could meet face to face and that too in India at my Ashram.

Yours sincerely,

M. K. GANDHI

----------------------------

We can find 1000’s of different ways to talk about his greatness, which is a perceptional beauty that would be evident only if you believe it. If your facts lead you to a different plane that visualizes the seemingly non-existent other side, try to comprehend it and review it based on knowledge accumulation, instead of recording it sans comprehension, like what I did with my motherly enforcement.

I still don’t know if I can accept him as The Mahatma but I certainly believe that he was one in the making and I cannot say if someone was, is or will ever be closer to that than him!

On the whole, never trust your enforced understandings! Einstein once said that “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new”. I did a mistake of committing a misunderstanding! Well, that led me to see the best.

ESP

2005-05-06T16:33:00.001-05:00

Apologies! It’s been a while since I had shared the air of my blogosphere! It was one of those typical semester-end routines with project presentations and final exams! Well, its summer ahead, so I guess and wish to spend more time and bore you all with those corrigible correspondences!

Recently, I have been sleeping with a beauty! Yes, a book on the origin, history and brilliance of human brain, by an unknown author. Is there anything in this world that can overpower human brain?! May be or may be not. Anyways, thinking of its abilities led me to one of my old favorite brain abnormalities or rather specialties – Extra Sensory Perception (ESP). How I wish I had the ability see my shadow before it appears? ESP is one of the few peculiarities of human brain that can be both greatly exciting as well as extremely onerous!

Well, our initial knowledge on this phenomenon is through celluloidal inferences from “Iyer the great” and its likes! But to understand what lies beneath, one need to get in to the root level and do some serious reading! I tried that and unfortunately the little knowledge that I thought I possessed in this area is scattered like the Indians in the USofA and hence I will leave it for you to read and comprehend!

Answers.com defines ESP as the “knowledge or perception without the use of any of the five senses. ESP includes clairvoyance (knowledge about some distant object or event, such as an unreported accident), telepathy (reading another's thoughts or sending one's own to another), and precognition (predicting the future)” It also claims that, as for the individual powers, it is important to scientifically verify those through various procedures before including them in to ESP phenomenon. Many people are skeptical about ESP and related states like telepathy, mind reading, clairvoyance etc. Some of us think that these phenomena are typical examples of how nature takes us towards the path of reality and show how far our fundamental physical laws and its assumptions are away from truth! There are several websites that exemplifies the phenomenon through various incidents. There are several incidents that are listed based on the Swami Vivekananda’s narration of experiences with his beloved Guru! Exciting to read!

But all these seem to be unreachable, incomprehensible and unacceptable to a common man. A common man wouldn’t believe any phenomenon until he experiences it or even visualizes it. As far as am concerned, I have never seen anyone with a peculiarity like ESP. May be, some of the astrologers who claim to know our futures based on sun/moon/star/face signs are typical examples of such people or may be just mummers. On the whole, the concept of ESP is exciting because it defies the fundamental and underlying assumptions in the physical laws that are supposedly explaining the life and the life ahead in this planet! Anything that defies the laws that we think are nature is exciting! But when it is not a common phenomenon, it’s hard to appreciate it! Whenever we are in to an argument or a discussion on the existence of supreme power, we fall back to the scientifically unexplainable and expect an answer for that! Considering the fact that the creation itself was once (may be even now) unexplainable, delivers a fact that there is whole lot that's left to be conquered!

"Chandramukhi" in Atlanta

2005-04-18T16:44:00.001-05:00

Chandramukhi - A must-see!

Statutory warning: This description reflects the character of a bunch of Indian graduate students who wanted to get away from their mundane activities and enjoy the phenomenon of their existence. Any breach of moral conduct is intentional and were forced to be temporary!

April 16th 2004, six future doctorates marched their way to the theatrical exposition of what we called “Chandramukhi”, a Rajnikanth starrer. All of us were looking for a reason to feel nostalgic and touch those silly childhood memories that are filled with the celebration of the only Superstar of Tamil cinema. We drove all the way from Cookeville, Tennessee to Atlanta, Georgia. A 4-hour drive with brains all over, even the trunk of the jeep was filled with thoughts on the next day.

The day started well as we filled in our pots with atypical sambar-vadas and dosai’s at the Madras Saravana Bhavan, complaining on the quality of the FDA disapproved food material at the same time running all over grabbing the chances to pick those last few vadais from the buffet. From that point on, we weren’t distracted by those moral educated thoughts that the brain popped up every now and then, it was just the heart that was motivating us to find the fun in what we were doing. That took us in to the Indian stores and persuaded us to buy camphor and coconuts to take care of the eye factors that might influence the effect of Chandramukhi’s success! Sounds hilarious? Initially we were looking for pumpkins or watermelons but we were forced to settle with what we had at that point! We took some videos as well as some pictures and I guess none of them turned out well. Let me work on that and try to publish them here.

No digression! We went all the way to the theatre and were pissed off to see there was just one small poster and nothing else on our beloved hero! Then we realized that it’s not one of those typical Indian movie screening theatres. We had Sin city and all other kinds running along! Doesn’t matter! it didn’t stop us. We celebrated the phenomenon by negating the eye factors with those coconuts and camphor, followed by distributing it as prasadams to our fellow fans who were watching and enjoying what they could’nt do. Stepped in to the theater with the usual O podu’s and ooh aaah’s! Made sure that at least 50% of the theater had to turn themselves deaf and watch us on our favorite air products that are termed as noise pollution as well as whistles, forgot to mention that we bought some artificial whistles for the non-whistling doctoral candidates. The first scene of Rajni’s 153rd celluloid appearance forced us to run to the screen and take his beloved feet! Insane! Yes it was, but blissfully saved in the medulla oblongata! The movie was filled with hero worships and celebration of the long wait. I don’t want to reveal the plot and any other aspect of the movie, but on the whole, the movie is a must-watch! Not a typical Rajnikanth movie that we were brought-up with, but was filled with all ingredients for a good entertainer! We had mixed emotions after watching the movie, was not as bad as the last one but clearly not his best as well! May be its impossible for him to satisfy his wide spectrum of audience. But no matter what, it was great to witness the energy and excitement that we shared with our fellow fans and was happy to know that the movie is already the blockbuster of the year!

Rajni starrer -2

2005-04-14T14:32:00.001-05:00

Well, for this I have no words! Call them illterates or whatever...but he is that big!!

The craziest I have seen so far

Well ...!!

A Rajni starrer!

2005-04-14T14:23:00.001-05:00

It was one of those jobless hours when I started thinking of tracing the days that had grown upon me all these years! The never ending love for the energy and excitement that I get out of watching a Rajnikanth starrer on the first day of release! Call me crazy, I dont care! May be it was from the day I was born. From what I hear from my parents, I learnt to do the thing that Rajni does with his hair (during his hairy days), even before I started to tell my name! Well, it’s about the same energy level right now! May be even more! It’s one of those most celebrated days in Tamil film industry! His new movie hits the screen today and from what I hear and read, it’s going to be the year’s biggest blockbuster!

So, here we go...thought of sharing this bliss with you all through some pictures and quotes that I stole from the internet planet! For people who have no clue on how crazy and wild it can get, what you are seeing is just a cover sheet!! I still haven’t watched the movie yet, but we are planning on driving to Atlanta this weekend to realize the incomprehensible! May be I will update more on that later!

Visit here to witness the energy in theaters

http://rajinifans.com/cm_theater/Images/Intro1.wmv

Quotes from the emails!

“Just now I saw the movie and replying u all immdly..The movie is great and the response from the london people is smashin.......

A good example is...The movie was goin fine tillinterval...After the interval it directly started withone song (dont want to mention) and we all wereshouting and making galatta....all the fans were angry and called the owners he came and he said i willput from the interval scene but he did not do aspromised as it takes more time to rotate theprint...then we all started protesting again andpolice came and arrested 4 ppl...but as we are allrajini fans we didint allow them and police patientlylistened to us and ordered the theatre owner to startthe film from the interval....it was great during thattime all were united for one cause

NOT TO MISS EVEN A SECOND FROM THALAIVARS FILM....”

“Hello Friends abroad,
As CM will be screened as preview abroad today, we fans here are eagerly counting hours.Just SMS me about the result to my mobile: +91984016xxxx
Thank you”

Some pictures!!

The tickets!

The Crowd in Kovai

In udhayam Madars

Another one

Thats called Mass suuport!

Udhyam is full of people!

It gets more crazier than this!

Hero Worships

(Non) Sense of Humor

2005-04-06T16:19:00.001-05:00

Every time I try to write something, I have a tendency to pass through google products, to have a glimpse of what’s been the world-philosophy and how different it is from my own theories of evolution! So was the path for this, I was trying to evaluate and discriminate the sense or the non-sense of humor! Mr.Google seldom annoys me, but this time I was turning wild and screaming out loud WTF, though a while later I was laughing at the different levels of thought process. There was this link which said, does God have a sense of humor? There is this part of the milky-way galaxy which is divided into so called non-equal portions of believers and non-believers on the conceptual realization of ‘the one’. Here we have some people searching the records for statistical evidence on whether God does have a sense of humor! Now that’s funny! Someday I really want to meet at least one of the people who care to know God’s sense of humor! May be I will realize am not the only jobless in Venus.

Before being nominated for the best ever non-coherent blog of the year, let me try and resurface what I am trying to convey.

Generally I don’t like to write in this way, but to convey this I will have to exemplify my other self. The one this blog has not perceived.

Modesty is never my virtue. If you know me I would come across as a loud mouthed, opinionated pain in the posterior. But somehow I have managed to gain some positive response as well. Particularly on the sense of humor I possess (disclaimer). I used to wonder how? Are they seeing what I think they are seeing? How in the world someone would say I have a ‘decent’ sense of humor!! Impossible! In person, I would refute that from the bottom of my heart in the top of my voice! May be they don’t know what is sense of humor. Most of the time, the people around me laugh either at me or because of me. If it’s because of me it wouldn’t be at me, because I have this stupid habit of making a bunch in a big group laugh at the expense of one, and the one is usually not me. This is not a great sense of humor. The rest of the sensible in the big group would laugh at me as well as the others! Well, I have been trying to control it may be it’s a birth product and will take an eternity to vanish.

“Keep your sense of humor. As General Joe Stillwell said, "The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of his behind". Can you guess whose quote did google spat on me? For 60 mins straight I was trying to kick my own rear side for sharing this sense of humor thought process with this torch bearer for the dumbsters in this Free States. Donald ‘baccardi’sfeld!! May be even gross minds think alike. I am not sure about his thought process on this saying, but I can definitely relate myself to this. May be its because of the monkey part of it!!!

It is not that difficult to have a generic sense of humor. The basic rule of a comic sequence is to evolve through it without anybody getting hurt. As a matter of fact, it helps in different levels. “A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done”. This is executed to the highest quality if the common sense of humor is not specific.
It was during my life realization in Annamalai undergrad years when someone told me that the person with good sense of humor will mend oneself to make others laugh! Make (or find) a fool out of yourself and let the world know so they get to laugh at you. ‘It takes an irony to accept and appreciate a joke on one self’, but when you realize that was a moment of bliss for the people around you, at the expense of none, trust me it feels much better than farting loud, alone, in a closed elevator.

Conscience

2005-03-30T14:40:00.001-06:00

Thought control! - Where do we get this from?

When we see a new born baby, sometimes we directly assume that the infants don’t know to think or we start to wonder about their thought process. Considering the fact that it is non-communicative, or at the least for the human interpretation, we assume that the process doesn’t require any control action. Experience based knowledge and common sense proves that the assumption is harmless! But once the infant starts and understands the concept of thinking, we set boundaries. With or without our knowledge we set boundaries based on ‘our’ brought up and ‘our’ understanding of what is right and wrong. If you look back the lane you walked through your childhood, you would see that the brought up was instilled with parental moral values and conceptual understanding of the world progression. These two actually commingles to what we call as the “conscience”.

Merriam-Webster defines conscience as “the sense or consciousness of the moral goodness or blameworthiness of one's own conduct, intentions, or character together with a feeling of obligation to do right or be good”.

Before getting in to a different plane called God-fearing, how often have we stopped or started our actions based on conscience? How often have we reasoned our actions based on our brought-up? We respond to the emotions based on our premeditated rules that we have set inside the aura of conscience!

For instance, according to any common middle class family in my country (India) pre-marital sex is a sin (I hope)! Whereas for a normal parent in here (United States) if his/her son or daughter is not being social (!), they tend to think there could be something wrong with them and they encourage them to date and be normal (!). Not that they advocate pre-marital sex but they don’t consider it as a sin. Now, this is because that the people of different cultures have their own way of understanding what is best for them. What is good for you might not be good for someone else! Everyone has their own conscience and the chances of a complete overlap between any two sets are impossible and that’s the beauty of the creator.

As I said earlier, we develop everything as we grow. Conscience builds character and character builds conscience. If you remember, character is build upon knowledge! So, knowledge does influence conscience. It either curves or straightens conscience!

It’s the main raw material for the end product called “guilt”. What motivates guilt? Our rules! The fights, on the regrets for actions, are often between conscience and reasoning! We grow up with external influences, good and bad, we save both as we progress through the lessons of life. And then wisdom delivers changes! It alters the perception of good and bad! And finally it all boils down to how far we are away from the original sins. We keep adding and negating constraints to our so called pseudo-conscience based on reasoning, but we are supposed to keep in mind that we should succumb to the fundamental rules of our original conscience and make sure we preserve it to the fullest.

Alter your consciential rules of existence, but make sure you dont lose your individuality in it. If the character is victimized in the chamber of life then conscience delivers justice and one who loses it is as good as dead with no life-after

Bonds!

2005-03-14T17:18:00.001-06:00

For the past few weeks I have been hearing a lot of stories on strained relationships. Several of my acquaintances have either found or lost the deserved respect for their bonds recently. Most of it was based on self evaluation! The “I” played a more important role than the ‘We’. Well, even when you contemplate on the concept of thinking about an “I” in a relationship, there is no room for development! May be that’s the reason for my blind faith on the custom called marriage!! It starts with a ‘We’ and it never ends!

I remember reading this quote somewhere

“We all have a childhood dream that when there is love, everything goes like silk, but the reality is that marriage requires a lot of compromise”

Every relationship in every walk of your life requires compromise!! You can never even attempt to quantify these compromises! Some say that the less they compromise they feel good about the marriage, whereas some say that the more the compromises, more they feel good about the love they possess! But everything is based on the relationship! A bond starts with attractive forces, could be of any kind for that matter, physical, chemical, biological, resonantial or a combination of all. The completion of this attraction leads to the beautification of the bond!

Marriages are not special when it brings the 'perfect couple' together. It is when the imperfect couple learns to enjoy those differences! It’s those imperfections that are the specialties of every creation! Once we learn to enjoy those, I don’t think we would have problems defining the state of a relationship, because it’s constantly beautiful!

Life is a learning experience! For a while, in our early part of life we attempt to learn it alone and walk through, amidst those non-evaluatory decisions and realization of imperfections! But once we pass through that stage we are ready to accept and appreciate companionship! From that point on its team work! The beauty of this team work is that one will learn more about the initial stage that they thought have mastered! The rest of the learning curve is not easy as well, but if it’s accompanied by the realization of the beauty of companionship, the thorns are as beautiful as the roses!

‘The cure for love is marriage, and the cure for marriage is love again’. When you call yourself in to a relationship, mean it! And when you are in to that relationship, there is no question of walking back.

His Airness

2005-03-11T10:22:00.001-06:00

I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!!!

March 6th 2005 - Mission Accomplished!

Wanted to go there from the day I came here! United Center, Chicago. The "Mad house in the Madison"(Acc to Umash). Went there to witness the past-presence of the person who almost disproved Newton!! His Airness is easily the greatest basket player ever to play the game!

If you want to know how to "believe in yourself"! Just pick a book and read about him!!

Sleep(i)ness in Studyville!

2005-02-25T16:49:00.001-06:00

No philosophies this time! I don’t want to reach a state where being normal is abnormal! So here we go, a deliberate attempt to portray normalcy!

Fridays! Generally, the day will be filled with research and deadline responsibilities! This time it was a little different. I did not have loads of work to do. Had a couple of hours of hard core thermodynamics before the scheduled Friday eve research meeting!! But the motivation was rolling on the floor and laughing at me in the form of a note! Budvisor’s non-thermodynamic communication! “I won’t be available today”!

Well, that explains it! Am here writing stuff that’s no way related to what I had been thinking!!

Sleeping in the class!

The other day, I was wondering about how gifted I was, with respect to the concept of sleeping. Never in my life I have struggled to find sleep! Let it be the most populated un-reserved compartments that I was rarely forced in to during my weekly trips from Madras to Chidambaram or a disturbed research thought process! Doesn’t matter! I have always found a way to sleep! That’s the same case with the disturbance as well! If my dad is correct, there was never a day since my 6th grade someone worked hard to wake me up!! I always think that I can take pride on the control I have over my sleep!

But it teases me! Especially when my crown succumbs to the gravitational force, simultaneously as someone, in their highest degree of passion trying to make me understand something that they desperately want to communicate!! Particularly in the classrooms! Right from my undergraduate days of thought amplification, seldom a day goes by without a wake up call from the crown-gravity reaction!! I have tried everything, pinching my arms, pulling my side burns, shaking my legs, taking notes, writing unrelated articles etc., nothing helped! Drinking coffee during those talks helped a little, but once the coffee is over, in the next few mins I will be sleeping with my unconscious nods through out the lecture! As a matter of fact, I have slept even on several one-on-one meetings/presentations! May be the second person’s thought communication was monotonously motivating!

Recently, I was talking to one of my academic acquaintance! He said that he could see me sleeping during his lectures! Ofcourse he can! It’s not difficult to notice if 33.33% of his class is sleeping! I was embarrassed in the first place, but quickly woke up and said “May be you have to make it interesting!” May be its true! Don't expect to list the events that I have not slept on! But there are always instances that motivated me to stay awake for more than even a couple days for that matter!

Is it the tone of the talker that puts me in to sleep? Is it the amount of interest that I have on the subject that puts me in to sleep? Is it the rice that’s taking it? I really don’t know. Except for those one-on-one meetings, I always had company! Right after the class or a presentation or any discussion for that matter, I will have someone in the room sleeping and giving me that final smile of achievement (!!). Well, my “blame it on yourself” philosophy suggests me to wake up and find a way to keep myself awake!! But the verdict is that one really can’t help falling asleep during some of those lullaby sessions that are being called as lectures and presentations! You never have to feel guilty about it!! Enjoy those motivators who are trying in vain to gain the best from their learning curve of “how not to put someone to sleep, by just talking”!

Instincts!

2005-02-14T23:20:00.001-06:00

If a man is offered a fact, which goes against his instincts, he will scrutinize it closely, and unless the evidence is overwhelming, he will refuse to believe it. If, on the other hand, he is offered something, which affords a reason for acting in accordance to his instincts, he will accept it even on the slightest evidence.

-Bertrand Russell

What a wonderful thought (except for the gender bias)! I have been living with my instincts from the day of realization! There aren't a whole lot of people whom I know believe that their instincts lead them to bad conclusions!! What are these based on! There is no knowledge behind instincts. It is a behavioral pattern that occurs naturally.

"Good instincts usually tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out", says Michael Burke.

Instincts give you the pleasure of knowing yourself. Sometimes it might lead you to a point where you start to evaluate facts, based on your instinctual knowledge. Say for example, you meet a person for the first time, your instinct says something about this person, may be nice or may be something bad! Doesn’t matter! Down the lane if this person does something, subconsciously your mind records those actions and tries to place those on the instinctual folders in the brain!! So as we go on, we tend to evaluate them rather than just accepting them. Is it good? Ofcourse not! When you find the facts in accordance to the instincts, you feel good and will take the pride on your instincts! If it were not, sometimes even after those overwhelming evidences you wouldn’t accept it. Just because it defies the laws of your instincts!!

I have made several decisions based on just instincts, some worked out and some has not. For the ones, which did not work out, I drooled over it and made sure that I found the reason, which fits in my instinctual knowledge!! But, that’s not what one should do! We should not base our decisions on just the instincts! Facts play a major role, as long as we know how to handle facts and instincts as separate entities, we will definitely reach a path towards truth! It’s hard to stay away from your instincts, which has this enormous power of influence!! Since our lives always propagate on towards the path of ideality we are supposed to learn and educate!!! Thoughts influenced by instincts are acceptable in the ideal world, but not the decisions, which are completely instinct-based!! Succumb to those instinctual impulses that makes you think, but not to those, which makes you conclude!

Problems?...Is there one??

2005-02-11T14:11:00.001-06:00

It was the year 2000, the final year of chemical engineering life education at the Annamalai’s of Chidambaram! We were at our farewell party! Mixed emotions allover...It was a different feeling to witness the people with character and strength were broken apart beautifully by the wonderful non-chemical bonding called relationship! But there were also some strained thoughts all over. One of the groups who desperately wanted to fill the place with fun and laughter, called each and everyone on stage to embarrass them for the last time by glorifying those stupid moments of their engineering life!! For those who were off stage enjoying those embarrassments (or whatever it is) it was fun, but for the one on stage, it was hard to control the temptation of spoiling the evening by walking out of it! It was not easy for any of us, to get thro that embarrassment and forget about it once we reach down stage! It’s just that the group did not handle it perfectly!

When we were almost going to end the evening, news reached us that one of our friend's mother opted to accept the soul invitation from another universe! She was no more!! The whole place was dumbfounded! There were a whole bunch of combinatorial responses to the news, but the outcome was just one!!

When we were walking back, planning on a trip to his place, paying a final visit to show our support! One of my friends said something that I can never forget,

"Do you see something now..Barath! None of them are concerned about what happened a few minutes ago. Now, all they have in their mind is the thought that wants to know how to make him feel better? From what I see from here, I don’t see anything called as a problem. A minute ago the embarrassment is the biggest problem for all of us, but now its nonexistent. All problems are like that, what appears to be big now is going to be simple tomorrow"

It was Vivek. Even now, I get to meet and talk to him quite often! We ofcourse share our concentric circles of importance! But I should say that never in his life he had followed those words. I didn’t know whether he meant anything at that point or was he impressing the girls who were walking beside!(pun intended) but the words made a whole lot sense to me!

Triviality! That’s the key word.... everything is trivial to someone or the other in this world! The deepest problem for someone is nothing for another! Not that the person cannot relate oneself to it. It’s just the way one treats it!! There is nothing called a problem in this whole world. Never look for solutions, because there isn't a problem at the first place!! Optimism rules!

The third eye!

2005-02-08T15:24:00.001-06:00

Any issue in this world in general has two perspectives. The communicated thought and the perception of the communicator! But how often we reach for the third vision. "A complete stranger opinion" and how important it is??

How many times in your life have you spoken about your issues to a person who is not close to you but yet sensible enough to understand the crux of it. How many times have you heard someone telling stories that you feel are not entitled to listen, yet it makes you feel good that someone is asking for an opinion!! These kinds of instances pop-up now and then, but have we ever thought the importance of this! Or is it important at all?

Lets set aside our egos and everything else! One necessarily doesn’t have to take this 3rd eye as even a suggestion for that matter!! May be a different perception!! The one, which you have never even thought of visualizing! May be it will tell you how not to live...more than how to live (idealist's statement)? But certainly its a progressive thought isn’t it?

There are certain decisions in life which should be taken without a third eye. Sometimes I feel that, its the respect to give to that decision. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, we were discussing about an important issue. He was wondering how could I be so confident about the decision that I was in to? The answer that I was with was based on the very reason of me discussing it with him!! I draped my decision based on the fact that I was opening a third eye in that issue! So, according to me, certain decisions shouldn’t be based on a third eye! But in most of other issues the third eye helps!

After writing this blog (before changing few lines), someone popped up and said that her subconscious is what she considers as a 3rd eye. It opens rarely and most of the time gives her the answers! Well, thats a beautiful way of thinking! I have never thought the subconscious as the third eye, I was thinking its meshed with the perceptional thought, the second eye! However my third eye (an opinion) gave me this idea of seeing subconscious as a third eye!

So as I said, it could give you a thought dimension that you have never considered before. May be it will not help in deciding anything on the issue that's in stake, but can be used for another issue that could pop-up in the later part of any other thought evaluation! It also helps in bringing down your ego sometimes!! And the best part is, the third eye person wont be a stranger anymore!!

Whatever it is, according to me "The third eye blind" is'nt a good model to live with! :)

Motivation!

2005-01-25T23:37:00.001-06:00

Newton derived that gravity was nothing when compared to his motivation to answer that apple-fall!

Motivation!! It is one of the main driving forces! To drink a cup of water you are motivated by thirst...to derive the impossible in your research you are motivated by knowledge! Even the most trivial action is motivated by some small thought!

Psychology texts define motivation as

* internal state or condition that activates behavior and gives it direction;
* desire or want that energizes and directs goal-oriented behavior;
* influence of needs and desires on the intensity and direction of behavior.
* the arousal, direction, and persistence of behavior.

Motivations direct those scattered thoughts! It organizes and processes our goal-oriented behavior!

How and where do one find this motivation!?

Often in this real world, we come across small factors that influence our every action!! For example, the main motivation for this brain drain across the continent was knowledge, money and respect. The motivation to stay in touch with current affairs is again, knowledge or not-stay-dumb factors! The motivation to make new friends is exploration and understanding! These kinds of factors that influence our thought process keeps changing based on the necessities and luxuries! However, the fundamental reason will always remain the same! That’s the main motivation factor. If one can find that fundamental in every work you do, the motivation automatically leaps high! It boils down to your passion.. at work, life or both. For instance, if your passion is knowledge you won’t be motivated to do the same thing again and again! Once you reach a saturation limit, there is no room for the developmental knowledge!! in that case you shift gears to another area. So, the best way to be the best in whatever you do is to find the fundamental and stick on to it!

May be all of us are motivated by happiness and peace more than anything else!! Are we forgetting to realize those in our lives by working hard to save for the generations to come!?! May be we are! How incoherent!!

News!

2005-01-25T07:55:00.001-06:00

Folks,

I know I have promised to update this blog with thoughts more than happenings, but I could not stop myself from writing this. I will try to be clear and concise!

The news is that..on the January 25th 2 45 am IST our family was blessed with a boy kid through my brother and manni! Both the mother and the kid are doing fine! Its a strange feeling ...after a long time, I was awestuck by happiness...! I was always happy but when these kind of special occasions pop-up, the happiness is exponentially increased in a very short span of time!! I turned in to a mama couple of years ago...and now am a chithappa!! nothing can beat these feelings!!

Anyways, for people who have'nt got this news through my email and you are reading it here...please curse me for defying the laws of expectations but bless the kid for accecpting and respecting the laws of this-world-invitation!!

Concentric Circles of Importance!!

2005-01-18T01:40:00.001-06:00

I was talking to my friend the other day! Surprisingly, we both have almost the similar kind of a philosophical idea on people-treatment! Probably this is the case with almost everyone who is reading this, may be you are not realising it. It is all about setting the level of importance to people based on various factors like comfortablity, intimacy, love etc.

Allrite! Here we go. Just a little high school chemistry.

The acquaintances are considered as electrons revolving in spherical orbits around the nucleus. Here even the people in the family are considered as electrons!! The nucleus will enclose yourself and your other half (just one other half). The most important people hold the initial orbital closer to the nucleus! You can have your parents and siblings in this circle...or may be even some friends! This could change for each and every individual! The next circle is for the kith and kin, which includes the closest buddies and the sometimes will also have some close cousins etc., the people you really care for! Then comes the acquaintances that you treat with more than just a Hi-bye...like someone you spend the whole day with but still finding hard to place them in the closest buddy list. An inexpendable acquaintance! Then finally comes the real hi-bye acquaintance! The people who are expendable.

On the whole, we can have it as

4th orbit- Expendable acquaintance
3rd orbit- Inexpendable acquaintance
2nd orbit- Friendship
1st orbit - Affection
Nucleus- Love

Ideally speaking, your other half would have to pass through these 4 orbits to penetrate in to the nucleus and be with yourself! This is the person you share your “everything” with!

The whole process itself is cumulative! To get through each and every orbit you will have accumulate the earlier orbit's property! Getting through the 4th orbit is based on resonance, respect and comfortablity! The 3rd orbit is through time and gestures! The 2nd orbit is through commitment, dependability! The final orbit is through possession without jealousy, affection, care etc., Finally to pass in through that orbit and to get in to the nucleus, you need that other property which you term it as "Love" It will have everything and something more than that. What is that something? Self-abnegation? Well, I have tried asking that to people, tried to read through philosophies, every damn possible thing! But never was convinced with any of the answers...!

Recently, My friend, in one of our whinny virgin talks said that "Sex is like god to him...never seen it in person and never have felt it as well!" May be love is like that too!! One will feel the bliss only through experience! May be its esoteric!

May be the whole idea itself is too complicated a thought. May be one should not qualify people in orbits. May be the nucleus will be penetrated without all these accumulations. Whatever it is! It is certainly not a thought to be overlooked!

Go easy - Find these movie quotes!

2005-01-11T23:09:00.001-06:00

The past few threads have been serious ones! Let me take a break!

Here we are with some movie quotes...! I know that a bunch of regular readers can crack these quotes easily...try and tell me which movie is it from and who says it!

You can number em and list it in your comments! Lets see who cracks it first....and folks don't google it!

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When you develop an infatuation for someone, you always find a reason to believe that this is exactly the person for you. It doesn't need to be a good reason, a bad one will do just as well. Taking photographs of the night sky, for example: in the long run that's just the kind of dumb irritating habit that would cause you to split up. But at the time - it's the charming eccentricity you've been searching for all these years.

I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.

I'm the only one on the face of the earth who realizes that you're the greatest woman on earth. I'm the only one who appreciates how amazing you are in every single thing you do -- in every single thought you have...in how you are with Spencer -- Spence...in how you say what you mean and how you almost always mean something that's all about being straight and good...

You fucking prick, we had a deal--you said you wouldn't fuck me and I wouldn't fuck you until we had this fuck out of the fucking picture. You crossed the line, man.

I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is.

A woman's shoulders are the frontlines of her mystique. And her neck, if she's alive, has the very mystery of a border town. It's the no man's land in the battle between mind and body.

And oh, I don't know if you're interested in this detail, but I was just about to tell you that I love him. I love him, and I don't care what you think. I love him for the guy he wants to be, and I love him for the guy he almost is.I love him.

Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself.

Life just stops sometimes!

2005-01-11T09:15:00.001-06:00

Jan 10th 2004, I entered my dept office to learn that the secertary Connye had passed away due to a masssive heart attack or a brain aneurysm (possible from her smoking habits)! She was one of the few nicest women I have ever met. The worst part was that I saw her last on thursday and as usual had a nice conversation as I went by the office and never thought that would be my last meeting with her. It seems she was fine even on the Saturday night! Life just stops sometimes! It did around 4.30 am that sunday for her. This loss has cemented my hanging philosophy of being truly nice to everyone you know, in every moment you learn. She was one of the few who found ways to be happy even through trivial things and am sure she will rest in peace in the life after as well.

Satisfaction!!

2005-01-07T10:55:00.001-06:00

December 28th, responsibility struck us with values! The Target was Tsunami relief funds...! A small thought took its own proportion...ideas started pouring ...never realized its just 4 people in a single room with the same goal! Slide boards, flyers, organization details, making the necessary arrangements, where the money is going to, how is it being spent, everything was decided in a single eve! By the early a.m all were set to go!

The venue was outside Walmart! Strangers stopped by to know more about the legit of the op! From the crowd’s reaction, we thought we would make atleast $1000.00 in 3 consecutive day-stands! Considering the currency conversions, it was a decent amount of money for the survivors. All possible modes of communications were utilized, TV, newspaper, Radio, WOM...every possible thing...! Volunteers started coming in! By the end of 1st day...we had $630...great effort!

Second day people started to standby and ask more questions. One woman started crying after donating whatever she had. One man started to talk about the revelation book (bible) and prayed for every soul to rest in peace! One 6 yr old kid stopped by opened her purse, dropped all the money and said, "That’s all I have!!" A single person donated around $1200. Too many unforgettable gestures! The second day collection was $3187!

Third day-no words- $2766!

Inclusive of all local gas stations and other motel investments the three-day collection was more than $7000!!

The moment we finished the counting and realized that it was all for a good cause!! The feeling that you experience can never be described. Believe me its much better than anything ...name it however you want...its on par or may be beyond the feeling that world perceive in aspects like god, love, peace, etc.!

Imperfections!

2005-01-04T10:59:00.001-06:00

Imperfections prevail!

I keep telling my friend that its is not possible to be ideal! Its those imperfections that makes you human. One should know that its the ideality that we are progressing towards!! Imagine if we react the best possible way to every friend and acquaintance of ours, life won’t be interesting! This doesn’t mean that you should be imperfect all the time to make yourself interesting! Imperfections should exist until you learn about it.

In the movie "Memento", Nolan delivers that, "The world doesn't disappear when you close your eyes, does it? My actions still have meaning, even if I can't remember them"...this is true and has more interpretations than you can imagine! One interpretation is - "perception", World disappears to me when I close my eyes, but its still existing! All my actions have meaning, doesn’t matter if I remember it, or comprehend the way others perceive!! The way we live could be ideal to us, when you explore it more, may be we would find that’s its not ideal to the World around you, it goes the other way too! The way the system progresses may be non-ideal to you, but what if it’s the way in best equilibrium. Well, the could-be best possible way to handle it is to enjoy those imperfections and try to rectify it. If not, realize it atleast!!

Tsunami!

2004-12-28T09:55:00.001-06:00

Tsunami strikes!

It was 26th Dec 6.03 am when my brother reached me through the Bell mode of communication all the way from Chennai to let us know that everyone was doing fine! Till then I was never aware of the disaster! The place it ripped apart was one of the most popular ones from my childhood memory...had spend thousands of hours as a cricketer, ornithologist, philosopher reinventing myself in different phases of life!! Never in my wildest dreams I expected this!

One of my friends who is now serving the Chennai community with some welfare organization, emailed to let us know that they found more than 50+ dead bodies in less than a hour within a 100 m radius! Now when I read and hear stories like that Nagapatinam- the mass burial ground, people with unidentifiable dead bodies, my heart pounds with frustration on this mass money making attitude of ours and the stay away from people who needs help and support in their worst instances of life and life after!! Do we have a choice…probably we do!

At this stage, all we can do is a couple of teardrops and a card swipe to welfare organizations, and hope that everyone who survived contributes something for a better World ahead!

Are we behind “Money”??

2004-12-21T19:12:00.002-06:00

For international graduate students in the US!!

Right from the moment we made the decision (!) of studying abroad and making a decent (which is mostly defined on a monetary basis) living for ourselves, the numero-uno motivation factor was "Money”. The question to be answered now is: Are we going too much behind it? The life that most of us lead now is like an arranged marriage, where you accept what you have (or going to have) before knowing or getting what you like or want. Shouldn’t we be motivated by factors like peace, love etc instead of Money? Is it too matured a thought or is it just another issue that we fear to explore? In the past years of accomplishments in academics, career and in telephone bills, almost none of us are exploring the fact that we are object oriented? Or Money based? Higher education and self-realization have honed the reasoning skills of every graduate student. We are now perfectly learning and reasoning the life backward but forgetting to live it forward. Of course one such vision of learning it backward gave birth to this thought.

A typical international graduate student's (exceptions are not examples) target is to finish his/her grad school, find a job, bring his/her parents, get married, stay healthy and of course diversify their career options (which most of them don’t see now). If this is something that one wants to do, it is definitely not driven by their very own thoughts alone, the influences of the people around them is almost 90% (says god-knows-what journal). Just because an Indian looks happy with all these doesn’t mean that it’s the best algorithm. Of course this is sufficient to lead an ordinary life with less satisfaction and mediocre money. Is this what you really want? Most of us are motivated towards that point without knowing what we will and will not achieve by doing so.

We have heard about people who are working in places, which are associated with danger both legally as well as physically. Is this the reason for their existence here? A graduate student who makes more money working in a gas station will obviously be motivated to own one in days to come! Rather than following the heart that brought him/her in! In this process the student would lose his/her pride, brain, passion as a researcher, desire and finally end up making money and losing peace. Is this what you call reinvention? For some reason some of us have found peace in money. We work so hard in making money that we don’t have time to spend it. Some of us work hard (before and after we graduate) and send a meager percentage of that money to parents and people back home. What’s the point if we are not there to share the happiness? And if you do some math, you will know that the same support could have been extended right from there. As a matter of fact, you would have possibly done it with better credit history and more happiness!

There are some things money can’t buy. For everything else we have master card! Of course we do, sometimes we use that dangerous card to buy something and fail to realize what we are supposed to earn with it. What you earn from those small gifts that you send home is the happiness in their faces and lives. And the best part is that you can’t be enjoying it with them, because you are too busy paying the card bills or making money for it here!
Why are we doing this? Cant we just stay there and be with them and realize the happiness instead of finding out a reason for our existence here! Yes! Some of us are still attempting to find a reason for our very existence here. Why are we here? Are we justifying our stay-away from the people we love the most?

There is certainly an exponential increase in our reasoning skills and exposure by staying here. But how does it matter if you are not thinking bigger than the box. Great personalities in this world have sacrificed one thing or the other in their life to reach that level. Are we sacrificing family and peace to achieve something really huge in life? If so what is that? Have you ever asked this question to yourself?

Character- influence of society

2004-12-21T15:36:00.001-06:00

Everyone’s character develops as we grow. One of the main factors that influence this development is the society. Why does society play such an important role in that development? If a person is locked for life without any of the external influence, will he/she be the purest of all? The chances are pretty high - “ignorance is bliss”. Jiddu Krishnamurthy claims that the tendency of the human brain to record previous disturbances, hurt, anger love etc., is the main reason for chaos in the society. If the brain is formatted in such a way that it has only short term memories, then the chances of getting hurt due to prejudiced thoughts are very less. A brain with a short term memory will cause less damage than the one which remembers every bit of its proceeding. An enclosed being will have very less thoughts due to lack of knowledge, but knowledge is power…! The brain has to know before it can react! So if we gain knowledge from society we will obviously be influenced by it. How strong is this influence? The social influence should lead us to the path towards truth with lots of perceptional derivatives! Whatever the way it is, one has to make sure that the influence in the later part of the development should not change the fundamental character that was spoon fed by the loved ones.

To write to cherish to learn

2004-12-20T23:33:00.001-06:00

The tendency of the human mind (or heart) is to unwrap the wrapped, unlock the locked, unpack the packed and reveal those mysteries lying under the veneer of false personification! So if you are thinking you would encounter any of my personal secrets here, I am sorry folks you are in a wrong place...! Words are the best way to express...every being in this world has learnt to communicate...so why not do it with your own “self"!

According to me...the most difficult thing to comprehend is one's "self". Writing is one of the ways of exploring "self". I started writing diaries and journals to increase my vocabulary...but when I read them back...the thoughts reflected my personality then....! It was amazing to witness the change in the thought process....10 years from now my philosophies and ideologies that I have framed for my own self would have changed based on experience....but it would be great to read how I was and how time, people and world has changed and influenced my so called thought process!

So here am starting to write my own philosophies...my own ideal ways of thinking ...may be its completely different from your vision ....but to reach ideality one has to know what it is...so jump in and pour in your thoughts! Discuss, argue, learn and teach me!