What if? - I

I saw Minority Report the other day. Still struggling to understand why was I postponing this. Well, creativity was at its best. The concept of Precrime was an almost impossible visualization that was excellently written as a short story by Philip K. Dick and incredibly directed by Spielberg. It got me thinking, how people could develop something like that? Well, may be they keep asking a lot of questions to themselves and end up improvising the answers! And most of the questions could definetly be of “What if?” types. ....And henceforth a new series! I’m calling it as the "What if?" series. This series will be full of unrealistic circumstances, relatively, and would progress towards delivering “what if this was like that?” answers and it’s following sequential progressions. Well, I hope this doesn’t turn out to be as serious as the kinds that Outlookindia comes up with. On the other hand I wud also have some serious kinds now and then!

Normally, I would not post something like this, but WTH sometimes we have to be different.

So, what if one of the most appreciated comforts of the MAN kind is no longer available for men. How would that be? I started this as a story but then realised it would be too long a read, hence .... What would be the to-do list for men if them getting pregnant is a normal phenomenon?

Month1:Mark the dates – sessions (we might call it like that) skipped once!
Month2:Approximately, same time of the month mark again – sessions skipped twice! Oh god this might be it!
Month3:Pregnancy tests - human chorionic gonadotropin or pregnancy hormone detection! If you get the device turned black, you are on it. If it stays white you are not! No pink or blue or any other colors involved!
Month4:Call people back home to convey the information if you stay overseas. If you don’t stay overseas, they will get to know when they get to know
Month5:Be prepared. You can’t help/irritate your wife anymore, especially in lifting the lightest possible things. Don’t climb stairs and don’t use elevators. Shift your house to the ground floor. If the infant kicks a lot from inside, kick back!
Month6:Start thinking of applying paternity leave from the 7th month. Stop watching movies. You will have nothing to do in few weeks, so save them! Throw all your shirts and trousers, you can’t use them anymore for the rest of your life.
Month 7:Pester the in-laws. Bring your wife’s parents if you stay overseas. If you don’t live overseas, fix someone to help and don’t inform your wife’s parents that you are pregnant. Postpone applying paternity leave for the 8th month.
Month 8:Now you can’t cook. So forget eating good food! Forget to apply paternity leave. Stop playing real street Cricket! Stick on to your X-box
Month 9:Stop kicking back the infant who is kicking from inside. Now he/she is shrewd enough to differentiate between the father’s and mother’s kick. Apply paternity leave!
Month 10:Sit back and relax! Don’t think about the complications of the process. There is no concept of normal delivery in a male pregnancy! Remember, the world will be revolving around someone else for the rest of your life!

Apparently there is a lot of research going on male pregnancy! Well, on the other hand Mr.G gave birth to these from the anti-men communities!

• There'd be a cure for stretch marks
• Natural childbirth would become obsolete
• Morning sickness would rank as the nation's number one health problem
• All methods of birth control would be improved to 100% effectiveness
• Children would be kept in the hospital until they were toilet trained
• Men would be eager to talk about commitment
• They wouldn't think twins were quite so cute
• Fathers would demand that their sons be home from dates by 10 pm
• Men could use their briefcases as diaper bags
• They'd have to stop saying, "I'm afraid I'll drop him."
• Paternity suits would be a line of clothes
• They'd stay in bed for the entire nine months (10 in our case)
• Menus at most restaurants would list ice cream and pickles as an entree'

The answers for the previous post are here in the comments section!